As much progress as we’ve made in the arena of LGBTQ rights, the existence of LGBTQ teens still seems to stoke a lot of ire in many people.
A guy on Reddit found himself in this situation with his sister, who was offended by his gay teen son and his boyfriend “canoodling” in front of her children. He wasn’t sure about how he handled the situation, so he went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by the name cozycorn on the site, asked:
“AITA for allowing my son and his bf to engage in PDA infront of his younger cousins”
“I’m a dad of two boys 18 and 15, and my 15yr old B has been dating his Best friend let’s call him A turned bf for some months now. My son and his bf have basically grown up together as neighbors and his bf has tag ed along on trips with us before as his friend.”
“We go on a trip to visit my sister who still lives down south round this time every year right before school starts and A has come along before as my friends his parents go away for their anniversary. But this is the first time A is coming along as B’s bf ..”
“Now when we get there yesterday night everythings fine and we have a nice dinner with my sister and her two kids 11M[ale] and 9M. Nothing to unsual . But later that night while everyone’s watching a movie A and B kiss a bit and cuddle on the couch like a normal couple their age and of course my 9yr old nephew ask about it and A tells his cousin that they’re dating.”
“Nephew says ok and No one really says anything about it. Then this morning my sister ask to talk to me alone and starts asking me why I didn’t tell her that A and B were dating and that it was totally inappropriate for them to be ‘canoodling’ in front of her young sons.”
“I tell her she’s overreacting and she tells me that she’s trying to raise her kids right and doesn’t think theyre ready for those topics yet. We got into this huge argument over it and have spoken all day ,AITA”
People on Reddit were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
And perhaps unsurprisingly, most of them thought OP’s sister needed to get over herself.
“NTA. If the kid can see Disney characters hold hetero hands, they can see your son do a cuddle.” —EveningStarHesper
“Kid asked why they kissed. They said they were dating…that’s it. Kid accepted that answer. It’s that easy. I don’t know why so many people don’t get that. My kids have known about gay people since like….forever? If they’re old enough to know why het couples kiss they’re old enough to know why same sex couples kiss. Because they love each other.” —-FU*K-MODS-
“Totally agree. What does it mean ‘too young to be exposed to homosexual relationships’? If they are not ‘too young’ to be shown heterosexual relationships, they are not too young to see homosexual ones.”
“She is being homophobic. She is most likely one of those homophobes who say ‘I am not a homophob, but I don’t want to see same sex couples because it is disturbing to me’ Nta, stick with your kid and his relationship. That is more important than your sister’s ‘comfort'” —havenointerest
“I’m torn. Because she’s obviously homophobic but I’d probably ask my straight son not to kiss his girlfriend in front of family during a movie. I’m going NTA though because I doubt she’d have responded this way if it wasn’t two boys.” —AntiochGhost8100
“NTA, straight relationships should be off limits if gay relationships are.” —BeginnersLoch
“Knowing the sister has kids, she probably kissed her man in front of them at least once. If she did and she is not okay with OP’s son and his BF, she is a hypocrite and a homophobe.” —RandomSOADFan
“NTA. What topics? Can I take a bet if the movies you were watching during your visit include any kind of PDA? Sister seems to be bothered by homosexual PDA in particular and that is NOT okay.”
“I’d honestly be much more provocative in that situation and ask her exactly what she means, but that is just my petty soul speaking. Nephew isn’t bothered by it – nephew understands what dating so where’s the issue.”
“Honestly, at this point, please make sure your son and his boyfriend are in a safe environment with your sisters family and aren’t shamed for who they love behind your back. They’ll face enough adversity and don’t need that from their own family too.” —Novel_Ad_7318
“There is nothing wrong with cuddling and a kiss in public between a couple. Doesn’t matter what their gender is.”
“Ask you sister if she has ever kissed her husband/bf/whatever in front of her boys and why this is different.” —GreekAmericanDom
“NTA. If she would have reacted the exact same way if your son had brought over a girlfriend (ie uncomfortable with any type of PDA) then she wouldn’t be an a**hole either, but as of now she just sounds homophobic :/” —SillySada**
“NTA If a 9 year old isn’t ready for the topic of kissing, cuddling, and dating, then either there is some severe disability or the parent is a complete failure as a parent. You described some pretty G rated PDA there.” —sqitten
“NTA. It isn’t clear to me whether she would have had the same reaction if your son had brought a girl and was engaging in PDA. I think that needs clarification.” —ladivakatrina
“NTA. Thank-you for defending your son. Teenagers cuddling and kissing a little is very normal and I’m sure your nephews have seen plenty of other couples doing so. Further, 9 and 11 is beyond old enough to know that gay people and relationships exist and that heterosexual is not the only sexual orientation.” —DisgruntledPelican54
Hopefully OP and his sister can find a way around his sister’s homophobia.