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Groom Livid When Sibling Books Their Postponed Honeymoon For The Day After His Wedding

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There’s very little more frustrating than when people don’t listen.

Or worst of all, when they pretend to be listening, but are, in fact, not taking in anything you are telling them.

Making it almost infuriating when they act surprised over something you already told them about in great detail.

Redditor Many_Cryptographer_3 faced this problem with his family, after they consulted them about going on a rather important vacation on a specific date.

While they all seemed fine with it, the original poster (OP) learned down the line that they may not, in fact, have actually heard what he was saying, as their brother later expressed severe reservations about their choice date.

Wondering if they were being insensitive, the OP took to the SubReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for leaving on my honeymoon the day after my brothers wedding?”

The OP explained how after their initially planned honeymoon was thwarted, they managed to find one workable date amidst their busy schedule, a date which proved something of a problem with their brother.

“So my wife and I got married during the early days of covid.”

“We couldn’t go on our honeymoon due to the lockdown so we put it on hold.”

“We’ve been married for more than a year now.”

“My older brother got engaged during covid and is having their ceremony this year.”

“Due to the nature of my job I can only take leave twice a year.”

“I’m a doctor and work most weekends and am quite burnt out so we decided to book a relaxing honeymoon overseas at a resort.”

“Due to the leave issue I booked the trip for the day after my brothers wedding, which was my last available leave for the year.”

“My wife told me I should probably speak to my brother first before we book in case they have any issues.”

“I spoke to my parents and brother and everyone understood so I thought it would be fine.”

“Here’s when things started to get weird.”

“Two months before the wedding and trip I was on a call with my parents.”

“I mentioned booking the trip and they asked what trip?”

“I told them the honeymoon I’m leaving to after the wedding.”

“Then they said, you’re going on a trip right after the wedding?”

“That was weird because I know I spoke to them about this.”

“The next day I get a call from my brother asking me whether I booked a honeymoon the day after his wedding.”

“I told him I did and he seemed quite upset.”

“He said won’t this take away attention from their special day and can’t I do it some other time.”

“I told him we spoke about this and he said he was fine, also I have no other time in the year where this is possible.”

“He said he remembers now about the conversation but he only really processed it now.”

“So I don’t know.”

“It seems like everyone is so quick to give advice but not really listen to what you are saying.”

“I don’t think anyone here is a bad person, it’s just frustrating that we took the time to speak to people but it’s obvious they weren’t really paying attention.”

“Now I’m feeling guilty about my trip.”

“People don’t seem to understand that working in a hospital is very different to an office job.”

“I can’t just take leave whenever I want and the environment is incredibly stressful.”

“Due to the cost of the wedding they won’t be going on a honeymoon straight away.”

“Probably delayed for a while until they can save up.”

“But we have also been saving since our wedding which is why we have chosen to go overseas to this resort.”

“So am I the a**hole?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believe the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not at all the a**hole for leaving for their honeymoon the day after their brother’s wedding.

Everyone agreed not only did the OP check with everyone as to whether or not it was all right, but they all had trouble understanding how, under any circumstances, leaving for a honeymoon the day after his brother’s wedding would be wrong.

“I am having trouble understanding how your leaving for your honeymoon after your brother’s wedding is a problem.”

“NTA.”- MzzMolly


“You spoke to them, your brother even mentioned remembering it, and all was fine.”

“It’s not your fault he didn’t ‘process’ it at the time.”

“Not that I’m sure what there even is to process, you’re leaving the next day?”

“How is that going to detract from his wedding day?”- 020Wombat


“Your family is weird.”

“You aren’t leaving on the day of the wedding, you are leaving after the wedding has concluded.”

“The happy couple gets one day: no more, no less.”

“It’s back to reality the day after.”

“He doesn’t to own you for the entire weekend or an entire summer or an entire year.”

“Takes a lot of outsized entitlement, especially considering the circumstances around your delayed honeymoon, to make this big a deal out of a nothing burger.”

“Tell them to stop seeing marital bliss and honeymoons as a zero sum game.”

“There has to be more to this.”

“Are you going on a fancier honeymoon than your brother?”- Issyswe


“Can’t work out why you going on a honeymoon would have any impact on their wedding.”

“It’s the day after and nothing to do with their day.”

“Don’t feel guilty and enjoy the time to relax sounds well deserved.”- tardigrade-munch


“Why is this even an issue?”

“Your brother gets a wedding day to be the center of attention.”

“Once that’s over and he’s on his honeymoon, what does he care where you are or what you’re doing at that point?”- mm172


“Oh come on.”

“The wedding is his special day, yes, but the day after, the week after etc. aren’t.”

“People have their own lives and while his wedding is going to be obviously an important thing for a while, it doesn’t mean everyone puts their lives on hold.”- No-Jellyfish-1208


“Unless you go round telling everybody you are leaving for your honey moon and how much of a great time you are going to have, you are not taking the spotlight.”

“He is having his wedding, be the start of the show and then you disappear for some time to spend time with your wife.”

“Unless you are hiding the fact you will be in the same resort as your brother and will be shadowing them the entire time.”

“Or spending his wedding dressed is a speedo because you can’t wait to go on vacation.”-Alita_Moonsong


“Genuinely curious why this is even an issue since both things are on different days?”

“Did I miss something, sometimes I speed read and miss pertinent information.”

“Enjoy your honeymoon!”- damnshell


“How does it take away from his day?”

“Are people supposed to watch you consummate your marriage or something?”- jadepumpkin1984


“Good grief.”

“Your family has too much time on their hands if they think this is something to get worked up over.”

“Go on your much-deserved honeymoon and have a great time.”

“Congratulations on your marriage.”- carlorway


T”he wedding day is precisely that, a day.”

“Hell you could jump on the next plane out after the ceremony and it still shouldn’t be an issue.”-TR_Irisden


“You told everyone in advance.”

“Not your fault if they were not listening.”

“I don’t understand how leaving the day after the wedding is going to take away attention.”

“I see nothing to feel guilty for.”

“Enjoy your honeymoon!”- meow-meow87


“You don’t even have to ask permission for this.”

“You are there on the wedding day, that’s what’s important.”

“Unless I am missing something in your culture/country where the day after is a big deal.”

“In that case you asked them and everyone was ok so still NTA.”- Business_Night_5599


“It wouldn’t take attention away from his wedding seeing as it’s happening after the wedding is over.”- Heavy_Sand5228

“First of all, NTA.”

“Second, the only thing that I can think of that may be an issue is that they want folks to ‘ooh and ahh’ over their wedding and photos during the time immediately after the wedding and worry that you talking about or posting photos of the honeymoon would take away from that.”

“I think this is nuts TBH, but I’d ask if that’s the issue and maybe offer not to post your honeymoon pics for some agreed upon amount of time after their wedding has passed so they can have all of their, apparently badly needed, attention, just to keep the peace.”

“Beyond that, I can’t see any reason anyone should care what you do with your life after someone else’s wedding has ended.”- salty_LamaGlama

It would be one thing if the OP deliberately planned their honeymoon in a way which meant they would miss their brother’s wedding.

But it is rather difficult to understand how the OP’s brother thinks the OP going on their honeymoon the day after would even begin to steal his thunder.

One only hopes it’s the pre-wedding jitters talking, and the OP’s brother will see things a bit more clearly after saying “I Do.”

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.