If a prank leaves someone crying, hurt, or uncomfortable, then it wasn’t a joke. If everyone isn’t able to walk away from a joke laughing, then it was just cruel.
But some people insist on hiding their ugly behaviors behind being a “joke,” side-eyed the members of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor KnownPerception7676 had always known that her husband was a jokester, but since she got pregnant, he repeatedly joked with her about her ability to get in the car, and the jokes wore on her more and more the further along she was in her pregnancy.
When he refused to lighten up with the pranks, the Original Poster (OP) decided she couldn’t depend on him for rides to her important doctor appointments.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for banning my husband from all future doctor appointments after he repeatedly messed with me while I’m pregnant?”
The OP’s husband kept pulling a prank on her while she was pregnant.
“I’m currently pregnant, about six months along, and my husband has been doing this thing every time we go to a doctor appointment.”
“He’ll get in the car to drive me to the appointment (I cannot drive because of a pre-existing medical condition), and then when I’m about to get in the car, he’ll drive forward a little, then reverse, and then drive forward again.”
“He does this a few times, and it always frustrates me. He thinks it’s hilarious and says he’s just ‘messing with me.'”
“I started to get really frustrated. I’m already dealing with the physical and emotional toll of pregnancy, and this just feels like him poking fun at me when I’m already tired and stressed.”
“I told him it bothers me, but he just brushed it off and said I’m overreacting and that he’s ‘just having fun.'”
The OP tried to talk to her husband about the pranks, but he didn’t listen.
“We had a big fight about it the other day. I tried to explain how it’s making me feel, and he got defensive, saying I need to lighten up and that it’s ‘just a joke.'”
“I told him it wasn’t funny anymore and it wasn’t something I wanted to deal with during my pregnancy.”
“The final straw was when he did it AGAIN before a doctor appointment yesterday, and I was just done. I ended up calling my mom to take me instead and told my husband he was banned from all future appointments.”
When he did it again, the OP decided it would be better if he wasn’t at the appointments.
“Well, now he’s furious. He’s demanding to be there for the next appointment because it’s the one where we’ll find out the baby’s gender. He says this is a huge moment and I’m being unfair by not letting him come.”
“I just don’t think the prank is funny, and I don’t know why he kept doing it as if we never talked about it being a problem before.”
“Now he’s saying that my decision was way out of line, and he’s claiming that I’m trying to rob him of being a father, and he’s worried about what I might do when the baby is born.”
“I told him I need him to respect my boundaries, and this is one of the ways I’m doing that.”
“But he keeps insisting that it’s just a silly little thing, and now he’s calling me unreasonable for making a big deal out of it.”
“The thing is, he does stuff like this on other occasions, he’s always been the ‘jokester’ of the family, and usually, I don’t get so upset about his pranks. But this is just so frustrating.”
“When she heard about it, his mom started trying to ‘take some sense’ into me. She told me that I’m just being ‘hormonal’ and that I’m taking it out on her son because clearly, my decision was over the top.”
“Am I overreacting here?”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some were sure that these pranks were a sign of a much deeper problem.
“This sounds like a test. How far can I push her before she actually sticks up for herself, and how do I get around that? I can see this man doing things to the kid just to scare mom. ‘I’m not going to drop the baby, see, I catch her every time I throw her in the air, she loves it!'” – captainsnark71
“He’s jealous of the BABY and with all due respect, is not particularly intelligent. And you’re wondering if you’re the a**hole?!”
“What he’s doing is very dangerous. What if you pitch forward and hit your belly, or worse, your head. He is just too dumb to even discuss at this point.”
“Do you have a car that you can drive? Drive yourself or have a friend or your mom take you. Do not get in the car with this man.”
“He can attend appointments and he can arrive separately. And until he stops this nonsense and apologizes profusely, do not get into a car with him.” – MissBeaverhousin
“NTA. He doesn’t respect your very reasonable boundary. His emotional intelligence needs some work.”
“Also jokes involving a vehicle and a pregnancy are not funny. That’s just scary.” – Abel_Zero
“He is so focused on OP ‘needing to lighten up,’ but they’re about to bring a child into this world.”
“It’s time for him to grow up, and to respect people when they say ‘no.'”
“And hiding behind ‘it’s a joke’ just shows he isn’t serious enough to be a dad. He keeps proving he isn’t responsible enough to be at doctor’s appointments, so I think OP made the right call to leave the kid at home to play his little games.”
“He’s definitely going to be ‘that dad’ who teases his child to the point of tears but it’s never his fault because ‘it was just a joke’ and he’ll never apologize.” – numbersthen0987431
“Abusers and Manipulators start to drop the mask once they’ve ‘locked it down.’ Think if there are earlier examples of these types of things covered up with ‘I was just kidding’ or ‘Don’t be so sensitive’ or ‘Everyone always talks about what a buzzkill you are.'”
“And absolutely keep these boundaries and do not cave. If you cave, he knows you won’t hold the line and then he’ll find more ways to be mean.”
“Hang in there.” – talks_a_whole_lot
Others pointed out how dangerous and unfunny this prank actually was.
“This guy is NOT mature enough to be having a kid. NTA.”
“Also, was the door open for these pranks?”
“This could cause the door to shut on OP, or knock her down. And if she gets knocked down while he’s doing this, it could end up with OP hurt.”
“And as bad enough as this is with a pregnant woman who may not be able to see her own feet and whose balance is off… it will be worse if he does this when she’s holding a newborn or when the kid is a toddler.” – StrangledInMoonlight
“It’s not just a funny prank. It’s freaking dangerous. Also, getting a laugh at your partner’s expense is not okay.”
“Keep him banned from appointments. If he’s going to act like a s**tty bratty child, he has no business participating in these parenting moments. Despite what he may think, he is NOT ENTITLED to be in those appointments. It’s up to her if anyone is allowed in HER appointments.”
“Honestly, op should put him on notice, because as he is, I would not trust him with a child. He’s immature and dismissive of OP’s basic rights to be treated with respect. Seriously, screw that noise. Stick with mom at appointments.” – Nishikadochan
“Boundaries and respect need to be demanded NOW, with consequences.”
“Otherwise, she keeps being the easy target. She needs to bite back and she’ll have to keep defending herself and retaliating so that he isn’t such an a** to her.”
“He will have no respect for her until she essentially smacks him down for his attitude.” – maroongrad
“If it’s ‘just a little thing’ and ‘no big deal,’ then surely it’s not such a big deal to stop doing it?”
“Unless, as you say, he’s doing this as a control and cruelty thing where the point is that OP is off balance and stays that way until he says so, and that she shouldn’t expect to have boundaries and should accept being treated any way Husband feels like.” – Thess514
“OP is literally off-balance. Your center of gravity changes constantly during pregnancy, and especially in the final few months when the baby is growing so rapidly. That is why, when you are pregnant, you can reach for something to pick up, like your car keys, and miss.”
“This thing with the car is dangerous, no two ways about it.” – Lagoon13579
Not only did the subReddit completely understand why the OP was upset and why she’d want someone more trustworthy to drive her to her appointments, they also pointed out to the OP how much more dangerous these “pranks” were than she was giving them credit for.
If these pranks were really meant to be so silly and “not a big deal,” then it wouldn’t be a big deal for the husband to stop making them.
Since he was getting defensive about the pranks, it was clear that he needed to work on his maturity level, especially before the OP gave birth and they had to start raising a child together.