Being connected to a live stream and having followers is the new norm.
It’s the way for a lot of people to socialize.
But if it starts to get in the way of life’s day to day, problems will arise.
Followers can cause some drama.
Case in point…
Redditor Sadiawil977 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for interrupting my husband’s ‘Live stream’ and going off on him after he ‘forgot’ to feed and change our daughter’s diaper?
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My F[emale] 32 husband M[ale] 35 I has a YouTube channel with over 14k followers.”
“He’s been doing live streaming a lot lately even though I told him that we have responsibilities to take care of.”
“Before our daughter (she’s 7 months old) was born he’d stream randomly and spend lot of time with his ‘followers.'”
“Answering questions and engaging in conversations.”
“He keeps saying that his followers are good for his mental health and that engaging with them weekly makes him become better at socializing and communicating.”
“He’s been complaining about wanting to do a live stream for days.”
“I told him we’d look at our schedule and see if we could get him some time to make it happen.”
“Apparently, this wasn’t good enough.”
“Yesterday I had to go grocery shopping and asked him to keep an eye on our daughter while she was asleep.”
“He said okay.”
“I was gone for 4hrs but kept calling him to see if everything was OK.”
“He’d tell me she was alright and that she was sleeping.”
“I started getting this weird feeling something was wrong because, she must’ve had been hungry or needed a diaper change.”
“He argued that everything was fine.”
“I immediately went home and when I entered the house I didn’t find him.”
“I shouted his name but got nothing.”
“I went into the bedroom and saw that my daughter was awake and her diaper wasn’t changed.”
“And worse was that her bottle was even touched.”
“I was confused I got out and noticed that his office door was closed.”
“I figured he was doing a live streaming from the noise I heard.”
“I was beyond seething I barged into the office and saw him sitting.”
“I blew up while he was trying to turn his mic off and telling me to stop but I didn’t stop.”
“I berated him for leaving our daughter unattended and with no milk nor diaper change.”
“He freaked out on me saying I just ended his entire channel and destroyed his fan base for interrupting his live stream and embarrassing and scandalized him like that.”
“I told him to not say a word but he kept yelling calling me out of control and unhinged.”
“He was almost crying so I had to leave the office.”
“He kept fighting with me until I decided to go stay with my mom.”
“He started blaming me for ignoring his needs after he already expressed them and that he forgot to do what I asked him and I’d cost him so much.”
“Now us telling to come back home because he misses his daughter.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA – Dude was straight up neglecting his human child for some twitch viewers.”
“If I EVER caught my husband doing that, I’d be reevaluating the marriage.”
“A child’s well-being and safety should be his first priority, not worrying about his subscribers.”
“And before anyone tries it, he could have waited until OP sat down with him and they mutually agreed upon a time when the baby’d be taken care of while he streamed for his mental health.” ~ notlucyintheskye
“You’d be surprised what kind of gaming you can do with a baby if it’s dry and fed.”
“My husband plays both PC and console and I think one of my fondest moments is walking on him playing Star Trek online with our daughter in his lap and having her spam the space bar to shoot while he navigated the ship during a battle.”
“I can’t count how many times I’ve walked in to him chilling with one or both of our daughters on the couch while he played Xbox.” ~ Noir_Faery
“We have 2 of these!”
“One (her favorite, actually) isn’t even an actual remote, it’s the remote to a drone that stopped working forever ago and we kept saying we’d fix it.”
“Lol never fixed it, but she LOVES that remote (bright red but shaped the same as our Xbox remotes).”
“OP, NTA but YWBTA if you go back without a serious conversation about what it means to be a parent and honestly maybe counseling.”
“This is huge in my opinion.”
I can’t fathom my husband leaving our daughter unattended like that.”
“On top of being neglectful, It’s also a huge breach of trust (he LIED to you multiple times) and a sign he doesn’t view the parenting workload as his responsibility.” ~ vanillaragdoll
“He’s more interested in the immediate feeling a parasocial relationship can give him, rather than putting in the work to be a good father and partner.”
“He likely has needs that haven’t been able to be met since the baby was born, because babies change thing.”
“But rather than communicate that to his wife, he goes and tries to meet that need in a parasocial relationship that also likely feeds his ego.” ~ s0rdiid
“NTA. Jumping on to say, I read this to my husband, and in between his hysterical laughter he managed to gasp out ‘they would never find my body if I did that.'”
“He neglected your very young child for HOURS cause he wanted attention from randos online, you need marriage counseling or a divorce lawyer.”
“I would have taken a hammer to his computer over neglect and endangerment of my children (he clearly never checked on her).” ~ Other_Personalities
“What also bothers me is that OP has to ask for help with the daughter as if she is solely responsible and must arrange care.”
“He is also a parent and should be equally responsible.”
“Watching and caring for his daughter should be second nature and not a burden on the wife to have to ask.”
“And certainly not forgotten.” ~ ColoradoWeasel
“NTA – LET’S BE HONEST HERE.”
“He was feeding his ego.”
“His ego was more important than his daughter by his actions.”
“Using mental health was obviously a cop out and I’m tired of people using mental health as a reason to be inconsiderate AH’s.” ~ Rough-Rip-81
“NTA. He has a social media addiction.”
“What he did was unconscionable, and the fact that he had an absolute TANTRUM and explosive upset over you potentially embarrassing him in front of his followers or ruining his ‘channel.'”
“And not the fact that HE LEFT HIS INFANT CHILD SITTING HUNGRY AND IN A SOILED DIAPER so that he could TALK AT A BUNCH OF COMPLETE STRANGERS is horrifying.”
“And inexplicable by any other reasoning.”
“And by the way, his whole ‘mental health’ argument doesn’t make this better.”
“Any therapist worth their salt would raise a serious eyebrow at the fact that he claims that he desperately ‘needs’ the adulation and interaction with thousands of strangers ‘for his mental health.'”
“That isn’t mental health, it’s addiction.”
“And I say that as a housebound disabled person whose social life revolves entirely around online things.”
“But there is a vast difference between connecting with friends and having meaningful relationships with individuals online.”
“And claiming that you NEED to interact with thousands of strangers – with an AUDIENCE – to the point that you start to get jittery and panicked if you don’t, and will neglect your family.”
“Your infant child, just to get your ‘fix.'”
“Every single thing you describe shouts ‘addiction.'”
“Don’t go home until he agrees to get professional help.”
“His craving for an audience, the fact that he can’t live without it, and that he will do things detrimental to his family and to your child if it means getting in front of an audience.”
“That’s not mental health, it’s addiction, and his is out of control.”
“DO NOT GO HOME until he acknowledges that he has lost control of this, and he needs help, and shows you that he is taking steps to get it.”
“You are NTA, but this isn’t a small thing.”
“An addict cannot be trusted because they’ll say or do anything to get what they need.”
“You’ve seen that now with your child.” ~ FoolMe1nceShameOnU
“NTA. He neglected your child for hours.”
“There is no way in hell that he should be left alone with any child since he wants to be a child himself.”
“Your husband is an irresponsible a**hole.”
“There is a time for fun and games, but not while he is supposed to be a father for once is not that time.”
“It’s called being a parent and growing up.” ~ lil-peanutbutter
Well OP, Reddit understands your anger and is concerned at the same time.
You and the hubby need to have a serious chat about priorities.
Hopefully a peaceful understanding can be reached.