Content Warning: Pranks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Domestic Abuse, Age Gap, House Fires
Can we all come to an agreement that if everyone isn’t left laughing at the end, then the joke or the prank is not funny?
But unfortunately, even in 2024, there are still people who value pranking others over the other person’s feelings, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Far_Specific_3005 went through a traumatic accident in her teens, so when her husband pulled a prank that brought those memories back, she had a panic attack.
The Original Poster (OP) was so overtaken by her emotions, her partner had the gall to say she was being dramatic about the prank and wanted an apology.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for getting hurt and upset over a ‘harmless prank’ that my husband pulled?”
The OP went through a traumatic event when she was a teenager.
“My husband and I have been married for five years. We are currently 24 (Female) and 33 (Male). We met when I was 18.”
“Way before we met, when I was 16, my mom’s house had a house fire that burnt literally everything down and sadly, my childhood cat was also killed in it.”
“I remember my mom and brother waking me up, screaming, ‘Fire, fire, get up, get up!’ We crawled out under the smoke, and luckily, my neighbors had already called the fire department, and they pulled us out. We lost literally everything. We were devastated.”
“So that was a while ago, but it still really scares me, and I check outlets and our stove and candles and everything all the time. My husband knows this about me.”
The OP’s husband pulled a terrible prank on her.
“So two nights ago, I went to bed early because I am currently 34 weeks pregnant, literally about to pop.”
“I was sleeping for a while before for some reason, my husband decided to wake me up by yelling, ‘Baby! There’s a fire! Fire, fire, fire! Get up!'”
“As quick as I could get up at 34 weeks, I did, and I grabbed my purse. I was just in automatic shock and just autopilot and knew what I needed to grab.”
“I made it all the way down the stairs, yelling for my husband to follow me, before he started laughing and telling me it was a joke.”
“It took a minute for that to process. I stood there with an open mouth while he laughed and ushered me down the rest of the stairs.”
The OP did not take the prank well.
“I sat down on the couch and just started sobbing. It was genuinely the hardest I’ve ever sobbed, it’s like I couldn’t get myself to stop and my whole body was shaking.”
“My heart was racing and I couldn’t breathe. I have never had this experience before, I was genuinely so panicked.”
“I was so f**king upset. My husband apologized and was like, ‘Oh my god, I’m sorry, it was just a joke.'”
“I just cried until he eventually was like, ‘What the f**k? It was just a prank. This is really dramatic…”
The OP was surprised when her husband blamed her for what happened.
“After a few hours, I calmed myself down and went to apologize to him.”
“He wouldn’t take it. He said I was being over dramatic and made him feel like s**t for a harmless prank.”
“So I guess I’m the a**hole?”
“It frequently comes up in arguments that I am too sensitive. I’ve never been good at taking jokes, and I’ve been trying to be less sensitive, but I don’t know.”
“I’ve since apologized to him again because he made a big deal about ME making HIM feel horrible.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP there was nothing harmless about her husband’s prank.
“No, you’re absolutely NTAH. That wasn’t a ‘harmless prank’ when he knows your past trauma. It also wouldn’t have been a ‘harmless prank’ even without that trauma because you are pregnant.”
“The adrenaline spike from something like that could have easily sent you into preterm labor and while I’m sure you feel ready to pop, you’re not yet full term and the baby’s lungs are the last to develop.”
“He’s definitely the AH, but more than that, that was psychological abuse. It was not a prank, it was not funny, and it very well could have done physical harm as well.”
“And now he’s trying to gaslight you into thinking that you’re the problem. Please be very careful and keep yourself safe.” – Betheroo5
“When I read what he did my first thought was, ‘This is NOT a harmless prank.’ I know babies can survive outside of the womb at 34 weeks, but the risk of complications is so high at this stage still. He literally put his wife and child’s lives at risk for a joke that isn’t even funny.” – pricklypear_tortilla
“NTA but your husband is definitely the AH!”
“It sounds like you had a panic attack from being forced to relive a traumatic event. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING funny about what he did. It was downright disgusting and cruel!”
“You’re pregnant for goodness sake; why did he feel it was necessary to add undue stress to you?! You should’ve never apologized to him. He should be groveling right now, not you! He’s a turd!” – gdrom123
“Her husband not only owes her a massive apology, he needs to grow the f**k up. That was not a prank. He KNEW he was causing her pain. He KNEW her history with fire and chose to use his knowledge to cause her harm for his own entertainment.”
“Sis, how often are you the butt of his jokes? Just once is too many times.”
“More to the point, why are you with him? He has the maturity of a 16-year-old. Do you honestly think he is a quality spouse or dad material?” – ZombieHealthy2616
“You went to apologize to him!?! You were in a tragic event and have been mentally preparing for it just in case. That is some PTSD but a normal reaction. He took advantage of your fear. He needs to apologize to you.”
“If he was a decent guy who made a mistake he would have held you and rocked you until you calmed down and apologized until he was hoarse. My ex (who turned out to be a child abuser) would always get mad when I would tell him he hurt me. It’s a huge red flag.” – Thevloveless
Others felt that this very harmful prank had a lot to do with the couple’s age gap.
“I mean, and I hate to do the ‘age thing,’ he was 28 when they married and she was 19? She said ‘way before we met’ when she was 16… so at what point did they meet? How quickly did they get married (not inherently bad in itself)?”
“What kind of partner BLAMES their hormonal, heavily pregnant partner for a reaction to something that brings up past trauma???”
“OP’s partner is a d**k.” – Kazlanne
“It’s still gross that you were married within a year of you turning legal and he was nearly 30. What the f**k is wrong with him? Just because you were 18, and not 17.5, does not make the power imbalance okay.”
“Also, you say the fire was ‘way before you met,’ but it was only two years before you met. Which isn’t very long to recover from a traumatic event where you lose everything you have.” – juliaskig
“That is not normal. I really hope you see this for what it is, and get somewhere safe. This is so beyond okay what he did to you!” – Rich_Dimension_9254
“You are ignoring warnings from over 3000 people who are telling you that NONE OF THIS IS OKAY.”
“Please listen to us. You are not safe with this man. He will get worse.”
“He purposely tapped into your worst-lived trauma and made you feel like his prank was your fault. You’re even conditioned to apologize to him.”
“Go to family. ASAP.” – indiajeweljax
“Someday you’ll possibly realize legal age does not equate to age appropriate. The human brain isn’t fully formed for logical decisions until 24. I’m not infantilizing you, either. Yes, you can make decisions, but especially until you are older, you are more susceptible to manipulation and coercion.”
“At the time it may not seem like it, but often people your age (or younger) are prime age for grooming. He used it to his advantage.”
“What would an almost 30-year-old have in common with an 18-year-old? They should be in two wholly different places in their lives. Also don’t say, ‘mature for their age,’ because that’s just an excuse predators use to explain why they are in an age-inappropriate relationship. Think now at 24 you’d ever consider dating an 18-year-old?”
“I am in no way blaming you, THIS IS ALL ON HIM. He used your trauma as a means for a ‘prank.’ He made you relive the traumatic experience which left you inconsolable. Then he pouts and won’t accept your apology. When in reality YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE APOLOGIZED. He doesn’t deserve any apology from you for the additional trauma he caused.”
“I’d honestly be rethinking my relationship if he’s this immature and narcissistic to make himself the victim because you got upset. You are 34 weeks pregnant, what would have happened if in the chaos you tripped and fell down the stairs? It could have been tragic.”
“Also, this wasn’t a prank. Pranks are something both people can laugh at and find funny. This was just being cruel for his own pleasure.” – trvllvr
Not only did the subReddit find the OP to not be the AH in any way, but they were disgusted that her partner had expected an apology from her after he did something so terrible that it inspired a post-traumatic panic attack. Whether she was pregnant or not, this was never going to be a prank that was funny or appropriate for their relationship, full stop.