The thought of becoming a new parent can be a wake-up call to life changes. Some people can be a little unprepared for the massive responsibility.
Redditor ProbablyAslep is having an argument with her husband about her sleeping habits. The original poster (OP) can apparently sleep through anything.
OP’s husband isn’t sure if this would leave him with all the nighttime responsibilities, so OP is asking the “Am I the A**hole” subReddit if she’s wrong to sleep so hard.
Should she be doing more for this?
“AITA for being too heavy a sleeper? It bothers my husband, now that we are about to have a baby.”
When she says she can sleep through anything, she means it.
“So I’ve always slept like a rock. I’m the oldest of 9 siblings and my family didn’t have a lot of money and we always were packed into small apartments.”
“I can sleep through anything, kids screaming or babies crying, fighting, car alarms, sirens, noisy neighbors, anything. Lights don’t bother me either.”
“I joined the Navy right out of high school too, and that made me even more ready to catch some solid zzzs whenever possible. Made me sleep through jostling and rocking too, since I had to get used to sleeping on rough seas and in tight quarters”
“My husband is a very light sleeper.”
“We are pregnant now. My husband has been getting frustrated with me for how heavily I sleep. He’s worried that when we have our baby I’ll be dead to the world and he’ll have more responsibilities”
How bad is her ability to sleep through anything?
“A few things that worried him were…”
“He had his brother over and they had a small fire in the kitchen when they were cooking. I was taking a nap and the smoke alarm didn’t wake me up. Luckily they put it out quickly but he was really worried that if I was alone with our baby I’d not notice the smoke alarm.”
“I suggested we get a louder one or see if we can set up the sort that calls the fire department automatically.”
“Next, I was home alone and went to bed. He lost his keys on a night out with friends and was banging on the door, ringing the bell, and calling my phone, the landline phone, etc. I stayed asleep. He went to sleep at his friends spare room instead.”
“He said that we needed to do something before the baby comes because if I’m asleep and there is an emergency, I’ll be unreachable. I said maybe he should hide some spare keys in the yard to avoid this issue. He felt I was missing the point”
“Lastly, we were taking a weekend trip to visit his family. We were sleeping in the room next to his sister who has newborn twins. Apparently when I was asleep the twins both started crying and it was super loud through the thin walls.”
“I didn’t stir at all and he realized that when we have our baby I probably won’t be woken by crying in the night. I said that maybe we could get a baby monitor and crank the volume up extra high, or he could just give me a shake.”
“He said I was missing the point again, it is a problem that for 8 or more hours a day I’m totally dead to the world and unreachable. And that I need to ‘fix it’ before I’m a parent or else he’s going to feel like he can’t count on me to be there for our baby, or to be responsive in an emergency.”
Realistically, if she’s sleeping through all these things, what can she do?
“I said that I was trying to find ways to work around my heavy sleeping like getting a louder fire alarm or hooking up a baby monitor to some loud speakers to amplify it.”
“He said he can’t live in a house where every sound is turned up to 11 and I needed to do something else.”
“I don’t know what to do, I don’t think I can just start sleeping less well? I’ve always been a sound sleeper and unbothered by noise and light because I’ve never had a quiet dark place to sleep until I was like 25.”
“AITA for being so heavy a sleeper?”
On the AITA subReddit, people judge the poster for how they reacted.
They do this by including one of the following in their replies:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
While people can’t really expect OP to magically sleep lighter, they can’t blame the husband either. He’s literally had to sleep at a friend’s house because she wouldn’t wake up to let him in the house, and she slept through crying babies.
No one is really to blame, and maybe things will change when it’s OP’s own child.
“NAH I too grew up with lots of siblings and am a very heavy sleeper. As soon as my kids kids were born, while I would not wake up for anything else the sound of their cries had me up in seconds.” – alphagirl22
“That’s reassuring to hear” – ProbablyAslep (OP)
“NAH, as a new mum to a 4 week old let me assure you that YOU WILL WAKE UP!”
“I have slept through hotel evacuations, fire alarms, locked out drunk housemates, screaming kids, plane flights – you name it, I’ve slept through it all! But now, when she stirs I’m awake.”
“Even if she’s not crying, just babbling. You really do become attuned to it, it’s scientific, not junk ‘magic’ old wives tales.”
“Your hormones will literally change the way you respond, and your boobs will become engorged and be painful every 2-4 hours no matter what.”
“He’s not wrong to worry but you can literally do nothing about it until your body changes. He should concentrate on what he can control and learn and figure out himself.”
“Congratulations, it’s exhausting but amazing and seriously, from one grave sleeper to another – you WILL WAKE UP! :)” – d1zz186
“NTA, you’re trying to find solutions and he just wants the problem to not exist. He’s being childish.” – drasugrswaugr
“Oh come on. A f***ing smoke alarm!! OP’s husband is right. You can’t just crank everything to 11. That’s not a real solution.”
“OP isn’t an a**hole but neither is her husband. NAH.” – Ascf33
It’s difficult to just wait and see what happens when the baby is born, but that may be the best option. OP has tried to find other ways to wake herself up that her husband isn’t ready to endure.