Disney is a bucket list destination for a lot of people.
But not everyone is a fan of the House of Mouse.
When her husband made his feelings about Disney clear, a woman felt the way was paved for her and their daughter to accept a girls’ trip excursion to the theme park.
Imagine her surprise when he husband felt betrayed. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Unlikely_Custard_329 asked:
“AITA for accepting an invite to a vacation that did not include my husband?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“My sister and mother planned a “girls trip” DW vacation for them, myself, and my daughter (8).”
“My sister and mother are paying for everything.”
“My husband was not included in their plans (neither of the other husbands will be attending).”
“I have not been on a plane in over 20 years, nor on any kind of big resort vacation like this since I was a child. Our daughter has also never been on a plane or to Disney.”
“My husband had previously expressed to my mother that he does not like Disney.”
“He told me he would not be able to get off work, he told me we could not afford it, he said he would not enjoy being there with my sister and mom and would just be a crab a** anyways.”
“When they first invited me and I happily accepted, he and I got into a huge fight. My mom eventually offered to pay for him and add him to the trip, or even to buy a plane ticket for a day, so he could come one day and see our daughter at Disney.”
“He declined the invite for the same aforementioned reasons.”
“But yet, he’s still upset. I can’t bring it up without him blowing up. I get that he’s jealous, but if the shoe was on the other foot and his dad had planned a ‘guys’ trip with the kids, I would be supportive.”
“Luckily, it’s a surprise, so we’re not arguing about it in front of our daughter.”
“The trip is next week and I’m feeling very guilty because I was getting excited/planning outfits, packing, and whatnot. He asked me to not even talk about it so he can pretend it’s not happening.”
“Only thing that makes sense to me is that it’s a special moment for our daughter that he won’t be a part of. But when offered the opportunity to come, he didnt take that either. I totally get being jealous, but why be an a**?”
“I feel like I should just cancel and not go.”
“AITA for accepting the invite to a trip without him?”
The OP summed up their conundrum.
“My husband thinks I’m the a**hole for going on a Disney trip with our daughter without him. Initially, I thought he might be right because it is a milestone event for her.”
“However, after his issue was made known, we tried to rectify the situation and he was still not happy. I’m not the one paying for the trip and it’s with my mom and sister.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was definitely not the a**hole (NTA).
“NTA. If husband expressed before the trip was planned:”
- “he does not like Disney
- he would not be able to get off work
- we could not afford it
- he would not enjoy being there with my sister and mom and would just be a crab @ss anyways.
- MIL offers to pay his way, and he still declines…”
“I don’t see anything wrong with OP going. But, I can’t help but wonder if her husband is grumpy about something else.” ~ FloMoJoeBlow
“NTA. Your husband wasn’t invited on this trip because it was a girls’ trip, and he is not a girl.”
“Also, he sounds super exhausting. And childish.”
“I hope he brings a whole lot to the marriage. A. Whole. Lot.”
“Please go with your mom and sister and daughter—you know, your girls—and have a blast.”
“I think you have some things to think about after you get home.” ~ GrapeGatsby23
“Just confirming you only have the one child, right? If that’s the case, DO NOT cancel the trip.”
“Tell him that if you cancel the trip, you’ll have to explain to his daughter that they were going to Disney to see Mickey and the Princesses, but DADDY got mad and said they couldn’t go.”
“NTA, but your husband needs to grow up.” ~ celticmusebooks
“Does he do this often? Become so crabby and unhappy so that it ruins your time, and you pull out of things or spend the whole time out worrying about him?”
“I can’t help but wonder if this is him trying to control and ruin your time.”
“Or is he so upset that you’re going on a magical trip, and he’s upset that he can’t provide the same trip for yourself and your family?”
“Either way, please don’t cancel. Please go and enjoy yourself. This sounds like a really special trip with your family, and it sounds like you really deserve it.” ~ Kebar8
“DO NOT CANCEL. Yes, he will be a total jerk, sulk, and act like a 12-year-old, but don’t let that stop you from enjoying this trip with the girls.”
“If he was going on a fishing ‘guys’ trip, would he expect you to act like he’s acting? I wonder if he’s like this about a lot of things.” ~ BurritoBowlw_guac
“Your husband needs to get over himself.”
“You are going somewhere he doesn’t want to go, with your family (that obviously he doesn’t even like—see how he refers to your mother). And this is at no cost to you!”
“There is no downside to him. Except you won’t be at home. What, ironing his underwear or something? Controlling much, your husband? I roll my eyes.”
“Do stop talking about it. And go on the trip with your family. I hope you all have a blast.” NTA.” ~ YouthNAsia63
“NTA. Is it your husband’s common practice to control you by throwing temper tantrums and guilt trips? He doesn’t want to go. What is the reason he doesn’t want you to go?” ~ reckoning4ce
“No, no, no, you have to go on this trip.”
“Your husband is jealous. You can’t afford such a trip as a family. I’m sure your sister and mother are looking forward to this girl trip, and they’re generously gifting it to you.”
“It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Instead of being happy for you, your husband is making you feel guilty and crushing your joy (jealousy doesn’t look good on anyone). You’ll regret it if you don’t go, and you’ll resent your husband.”
“Have a lovely time!”
“The way he reacted during those last few days and how he’ll be when you get back is, unfortunately, showing the type of person he is.”
“You might want to do couple counseling on your return…and think long and hard if the relationship is worth it. He’s acting like a toddler. Hopefully, the relationship can be worked on.” ~ MajorAd2679
“We made a ‘no crab @ss when I’m excited’ rule in my house. I love my husband, but he can definitely gripe to the point where it’s not fun to go and do the activity I was excited about.”
It definitely took a long time, but all in all he does well with the rule. Turns out, it’s just his way of coping with any general displeasure.”
“In all honesty, OP, have you ever gone that long without seeing each other? Maybe he’s just upset because he doesn’t like you leaving, not that it’s your responsibility, but I’ve been in that situation.” ~ Select-Host-436
“And if he starts up with his nonsense while you’re away, don’t respond to it. Texts complaining about whatever he can find to complain about?”
“Grey rock reply—’ Oh that’s a shame. I’m sure you’ll cope’.”
“If he keeps it up or whinges that you’re not answering, tell him that you’re busy/in a queue/on a ride/YOU’RE BUSY!!! So you won’t be responding during the day, and you’ll talk about it when you get back.”
“If he doesn’t grow up and get over himself, look for some couples counseling because he needs help.” ~ WatchingTellyNow
“NTA. Clearly he never wanted to go to Disney and never wanted to go on your girl’s trip. What he is doing is being childish and trying to ruin your trip before you even go.”
“Don’t let him. He doesn’t want you to have any fun without him.”
“Just to keep the peace, honor his request, and don’t talk about the trip with him beforehand. When you get back, he may or may not be interested in hearing about it.” ~ 1962Michael
“So, he won’t be able to go, he wouldn’t enjoy it if he were to travel there, it doesn’t cost him any money, it’s a nice memory for you and your daughter who must be super excited, also your mom! This sounds like a really great trip!”
“He only wants you to stay there because if he can’t enjoy something, you shouldn’t either?”
“You’re not doing anything wrong. I suggest you focus on the trip, having a great time, and not to think about him.”
“Get in a happy mood for such an occasion. If he doesn’t join the good time, let him pout angrily in a corner. Have a great trip! NTA.” ~ neinneinballons
Ruining someone else’s fun (especially a child’s) is a real jerk move.
Hopefully, the OP and their daughter will be able to enjoy their vacation.