Redditor blueberries281 is a woman married to an attractive husband who plays in a tennis league.
At the risk of sounding insecure, she said she felt bothered after hearing about a fellow tennis player who could potentially jeopardize her marriage.
So she came up with a game plan in an attempt to circumvent any foul play.
After causing drama for the other players, she visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit
“AITA for ruining things for the group my husband regularly plays tennis with?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“For as long as I’ve known my husband, he’s been playing tennis with the same group of people frequently. I played once when we first dated but tennis wasn’t really my thing so I never joined in.”
“Now I realise this is going to sound incredibly insecure but I decided to go along because his friend was telling me about how one of the girls is constantly trying to be paired up with my husband and he jokingly said she was going to steal him from me.”
“My husband did tell him to shut up and said he was exaggerating. My husband is conventionally attractive so he gets a lot of attention which has never made me feel insecure before but after this conversation it kept bothering me so I ended up asking my husband if I could play tennis with them.”
“Up until I joined, they had an even number of people and they used to play doubles a lot. Now my husband spends most of his time either watching me play or trying to help me get better so their usual routine has been ruined.”
“It usually means the girl who used to pair up with him constantly is left alone.”
“She and two others have been making remarks implying how I’ve ruined things for them and how I should go to lessons instead. It’s obvious they don’t want me there but won’t say it outright.”
“AITA?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole here.
“NTA! this is nothing wrong with you wanting to play tennis with your own husband. why doesn’t this girl bring along another friend to play with?” – MsSeraphim
“NTA since you commented that your husband is happy you are there, and has wanted to teach you for ages. Honestly it’s not really your concern whether some random girl is inconvenienced by not having your husbands time and attention to herself.”
“She can always find another partner. Yours is for life and it’s good to have shared interests.” – JWJulie
“1000%. Bottom line, your husband is happy and everyone else’s feelings on this DO NOT MATTER. Here’s why, your intentions for going in the first place are the consequences to someone else’s bad behavior, including the teasing part.”
“They are culpable. YOU are protecting your marriage and gracefully, at that. It is not messed up at all. Something good is coming of it as well, more bonding with your spouse. They can eat $hit.” – Maleficent_Can1946
“Nta… idk why people are calling you insecure for not appreciating the idea of another woman flirting with your husband! You weren’t rude or manipulative nor did you cause a scene and confront anyone. If you did any of those things yes you would suck but it sounds to me like you did exactly what you SHOULD have done and you were classy while doing it.”
“Also it’s a nice thing for you and your husband to do together yes you didn’t want to before but I’m sure he enjoys having you there and it sounds like you at least enjoy the time with him learning! NTA!” – Realistic-Mammoth-77
“NTA – If your husband is happy to have you there and is glad for the opportunity to teach you something he loves, then it doesn’t matter what your reasons for joining are. He wants you there.”
“Those 3 women are extremely rude to complain about your presence. I would never make the spouse of a friend of mine feel unwanted or out of place. They are out of line.” – Impossible-Leek-2830
“NTA this is something he loves and is excited to share with the person he loves, which is you!”
“Those women sound super jealous and competitive…when it’s just a game! Go have fun playing and bonding together with your husband because you joining and sharing this with him probably makes his day. Who cares about the reason why you started – you get the chance to spend more time with your favorite person win/win!” – chlocatt
“You are definitely NTA. Your husband is happy with you being there and your doing something that he’s wanted to teach you/have you join in with for a while it seems.”
“The other 3 can go suck sour grapes and go find someone else to play with or ogle at.” – HunterDangerous1366
“If you and hubby are enjoying your time together and sharing a interest, I don’t really see a problem.”
“If you are having zero fun, and can’t see yourself genuinely sharing that interest, and are there solely because of the other girl, not good.”
“As for the friend group, if you guys are keeping everyone from spending their free time properly and they are awkwardly on the side while your learning, I think it’d be nice to be considerate of their time and maybe choose another day for practice till your better at it?” – MagPieMadEye
“Good for you, and good for your husband for making it about you. Well done all the way around. NTA.”
“My wife is not in the least bit insecure either, but while we were dating, when an admin from work was prowling around me, my wife inserted herself into our work’s social activities after meeting her. She just had a feeling. I said, ‘She isn’t interested in me, and I’m not interested in her.’ She said she trusted me, but not her. OK I guess.”
“Soon after that same admin started working on another up and coming exec type after being blocked by my soon-to-be wife. Wrecked his current relationship and got him. I was stunned.”
“Turns out she was interested in someone with career prospects (if not me personally) and didn’t care who was in her way. I had been a meal ticket target but never knew it. Later I realized that was not too uncommon at the head office. Peyton place on steroids. I had no clue. My wife did though. She called it, just like you did.”
“There is a fine line between jealousy and just knowing ‘something is off’ with a situation. As long as you trust your partner, you can also generally trust your sixth sense.” – EntrepreneurAmazing3
“NTA. If you heard your husband mention playing with another lady and immediately rushed out there it would be different. But if your husband’s friend is ‘jokingly’ warning you about this other girl, I don’t blame you for going. Now you and your husband are enjoying playing so it sounds great! I like tennis and would love it if my husband wanted to play with me!”
“The other lady’s response is what really cements it for me. Sure it’d be disappointing that she doesn’t have a regular partner anymore, but it’s immature to gripe that he’s playing with his wife. Unless you are truly awful or everyone else played in college etc. and are playing at a high level, I don’t think anyone should be complaining.”
“It’s a game that adults are playing in their free time. Time to relax. And time for the other lady to recruit a new partner.” – runtsky
“NTA You’re not stopping him from playing tennis with his friends, you’re simply asserting yourself that he is not single. Those women are mad because they have designs on your man and you’re ruining their little game. As long as you don’t forbid him from playing you can play too.”
“Maybe not every game as you don’t want to overwhelm him, but you have a right to remind those women that he is not single and that they can’t ‘steal him’ from you. As long as you’re friendly and not controlling your husband I see nothing wrong with it. Your husband hasn’t said anything bad about it so I doubt he minds.” – LiveLovelyLala
“NTA! this is nothing wrong with you wanting to play tennis with your own husban. why doesn’t this girl bring along another friend to play with?” – MsSeraphim
“NTA since you commented that your husband is happy you are there, and has wanted to teach you for ages. Honestly it’s not really your concern whether some random girl is inconvenienced by not having your husbands time and attention to herself.”
“She can always find another partner. Yours is for life and it’s good to have shared interests.” – JWJulie
Overall, Redditors agreed that since the husband has expressed he’s happy his wife was there, it indicated he had no interest in the other woman who was smitten with him.
Redditors also didn’t blame the OP for joining the team.