Redditor girludont is a 24-year-old woman of Indian descent whose 28-year-old sister accused her of being rude.
The sister and her 29-year-old fiancé recently attended a wedding, and while there, they met a person they thought might be a good match for the Redditor.
However, the fiancé made an assumption about the Redditor that rubbed her the wrong way.
After a confrontation, she visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for telling my future bro in law to not worry about my taste in men?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My sister and her fiancé went to their friend’s wedding last week. when they came back and visited me, they were telling me that this family has a son.”
“My sister said he’s only 4 days older than me (24), and that she wanted to set us up together. my sister’s fiancé then said ‘yeah, but i told her that would never work since you probably only like white guys.’”
“I was immediately confused why he even thought that and asked what he meant.”
“He basically said since all my best friends are white, he just assumed i wouldn’t like anyone from our culture (we’re indian).”
“I told him that my preferences in dating don’t concern him and that assuming who I’m attracted to based on race is offensive and idiotic.”
“My sister got really mad that i told him off and said i was being rude to him. it’s just a weird thing to say imo but maybe i was a little harsh.”
“AITA?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
A majority of Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole in the situation.
“That was a rude assumption on the fiance’s part. Bravo speaking up for yourself. NTA, OP.” – Crafty-Addition9105
“NTA. Your BIL was obnoxious for saying what he did. Stupid to assume what kind of men you’d like.”
“You had every right to correct him.” – BeskarVagina
“NTA he shouldn’t have made the comment. And even if your preference was only white men, it sounds like you were open to meeting this guy anyway so BIL should keep his comments to himself and let it play out.” – 4614065
“Bruh I’m an Indian girl and I’ve dated all of three guys (the last was my husband).”
“Why? Because there’s just more of them in the country my parents moved to when I was 3. And also, I have no idea why but the only dudes that like me are white, middle/upper class dudes who play video games a lot.”
“I literally asked a brown dude out when I was 16, was rejected and posted about it on Reddit 12 years ago.”
“F’k the salty dudes, they just assume we’re racist for no reason when maybe we just don’t mesh. So much of falling in love is luck narrowing it down racially it’s so stupid.”
“Honestly, your sister should have had your back. In our culture, looking out for toxic masculinity BS is pretty important. NTA.” – bubbleuj
“NTA – when will people learn to keep their thoughts in their heads? what he said wasn’t necessary, and good on you for speaking up for yourself.” – starredandfeathered
“NTA. However, if your sister/BIL are very traditional, maybe have a little heart to heart about it. With the info provided though, I’m not sure if they were necessarily being a-holes either, maybe just misguided?”
“If it keeps happening though, then it’s just disrespectful on their end.” – FallingStar7787
“NTA, also as an Indian myself it shames me that a lot of people in our culture think that it is ok to diss and profile people just because they’re of a different skin color or background.”
“I myself have faced on multiple occasions since although I am an Indian, i have white skin due to albinism and have always faced judgements and weird looks.” – Agni_Kai_011
“NTA. Your sister’s fiance was having a go at you. He knows it, you know it. What’s with your sister telling you not to be rude to him, when he was being rude and intrusive to you.”
“Good for you, for not putting up with the segregation Al goading. Be friends with who you want and love who you want. They don’t like it, thats their problem, don’t let them make it yours.” – Fit_General7058
“Telling him off is the normal response against people making silly assumptions, otherwise they wouldn’t be corrected. NTA.” – tacwombat
“NTA It sucks that your Sister’s fiancé made assumptions about you. It’s good that you stood up to him.” – Trick_Few
“NTA, what is it with Indian men thinking that Indian girls prefer white guys anyway? I’ve heard this a lot too… With that attitude we might as well smh.” – RiddleEatsRainbows
“Most of the guys I dated were from outside the community, but that’s only because that’s who I could find. Didn’t stop people from gossiping that I only liked fair skin.”
“The thing is, I was in love this Indian guy for years, and he said he loved me back – until one day he told me that we had to stop hanging out because his mom (one of the chief gossips) thought I was too dark for him.”
“MFer was darker than I was! Whatever. Better off without a momma’s boy or monster in law lol.” – merrycat
“Your sisters fiance is gross for assuming that. Its not any of his business and your sister should of stuck up for you. NTA.” – NiteGrimwood
‘and that she wanted to set us up together. my sister’s fiancé then said “yeah, but i told her that would never work since you probably only like white guys.”’
“What a weird, rude thing to say.”
“Why isn’t she mad at him for making intrusive assumptions about her family members?” – DiTrastevere
“NTA. What a weird comment to make, especially by your sister’s fiancé.” – marie-llama
Overall, many of the Redditors applauded the OP for standing up for herself, and contrary to what her sister said, people saw the fiancé as the one who was being out of line in this scenario.