Right now, it feels like everyone cannot escape the K-pop Demon Hunters.
They are everywhere.
The movie is being viewed and discussed constantly.
The film's soundtrack is making music history on the Billboard charts.
It seems widely popular.
However, it does have its detractors.
Redditor DDHLeigh wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
"AITA for laughing out loud when my wife said the song Golden from Kpop Demonhunters was demonic?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"So, my wife just got home from church and her church group and immediately said our kids should no longer be singing this song or watching K-pop Demonhunters."
"She is saying someone in the group said it is demonic."
"I just laughed because that is outrageous."
"Wouldn't the song be more in line with Rumi facing her demons and seeing the light?"
"Heck, if I wanted to turn it into belief, 'golden,' or the light could signify God."
"I'm still eyerolling as I type this."
"I'm not religious and I encourage my kids to make their own choice, but come on."
"Now she's upset and mad because I laughed at her comment and said it was ridiculous."
The OP was left to wonder:
"So... AITA?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
"I think you need to try to get her to go to a different church because it sounds like she's being sucked into a cult." ~ MtnNerd
"We keep going on this cult possibility, and I get that, but this feels deeper than that."
"She didn't say the entire church said this; she said one singular person said that."
"And without doing any research of her own, she took one person's opinion at face value."
"This is more of the wife thing than that particular church."
"She needs to work on her critical thinking and take people's opinions as just that, an opinion."
"She can research things she's curious about and then draw her own conclusions." ~ Individual_Water3981
"NTA... haven't seen the show myself, but it's literally about fighting against demons."
"For your information, your wife isn't a member of a church; she's a member of a cult."
"A cult that has a thin veneer of Christianity, but is all cult underneath." ~ Thanatofobia
"It's even better within the context of the plot—that song is literally intended to basically defeat their universe's version of Satan forever."
"But sure, that's demonic because they're doing it themselves, not with the power of the Christian God, I guess? Hilarious."
"Anyone who's not deep enough into the cult mindset should see right through that s**t." ~ always_unplugged
"My kid and I LOVE KPop Demon Hunters, and I've seen some comments against it that I assume are from religious people."
"And I worry about what someone would say to my kid if they bring it to someone religious, since we are around people like that a lot."
"So I try to come up with arguments that it does have Christian messages in it."
"Like Hunter/x can be compared to angels or prophets or disciples spreading a message that unites people and ends up defeating evil."
"Or that everyone has sin, but everyone has a unique journey to not give in to that nature, and it's easier with support than doing it by yourself?"
"A comment below said something about the Golden being similar to a hymn, and I immediately thought of This Little Light of Mine."
"And C.S. Lewis was a Christian writer, and frankly, the only difference here is a lack of Aslan character." ~ 12j8
"NTA. Whatever the popular thing with kids and teens is (D[ungeons] 'n D[ragons], Rock Music, Pokémon, Harry Potter), high-control religions will feel threatened by and preach against it."
"Maybe they just want to capture some of the attention with whatever is cool, I don't know."
"But I remember certain fringe religious people/orgs made an argument that Tickle-Me Elmo was demonic, so…" ~ AiReine
"NTA. Be careful."
"She sounds easily influenced, and when people start calling things demonic, it's a real slippery slope." ~ Grutopia323080
"NTA. This is in the same line of complete and utter nonsense that had parents make their kids burn their CDs, Pokémon cards, or D&D rule books."
"Or people who were convinced they had to burn their kids' Smurf dolls or Cabbage Patch dolls or Care Bears because they were convinced these items were demon-possessed because a friend of a friend saw one (a doll, not a kid) get up and run down the church aisle so the demon could flee during a sermon."
"Do not allow your wife to restrict what your kids can watch or listen to based on religious fanaticism."
"These ideas should be laughed at and treated as the complete nonsense that they are."
"Get your wife some mental health help ASAP." ~ No-Assignment5538
"I think the first sign of being a kook is believing in demons at all."
"You would think that in 2025, people would know better."
"Back when everyone was uneducated and believed in mountain spirits, used superstition or whatever to explain how people died from illness or why natural disasters happened, you can kind of excuse the stupidity because humans are fallible, but there's just no excuse for it now."
"If your group teaches you that demons are real, you need to leave that group." ~ awaywardgoat
"Sounds like your wife is incredibly gullible."
"A crazy person at her church mentioned something crazy, and your wife took it as gospel."
"I wouldn't have been as nice about it as you were. NTA." ~ ASomthnSomthn
"Girl, she needs to be mad at herself because why would she, as a religious woman, marry a nonreligious man and be shocked that you don't want to indoctrinate your children?"
"She doesn't get to be mad, you are exactly the man she married."
"She went all the way to having kids with you before she realized she didn't agree with you?"
"Come on now."
"Did she think you would just sit back and shut up when it comes to raising the children?"
"Annoying... lmfao... NTA." ~ dadsoup
"NTA. Firstly, the movie is fiction."
"And secondly, the song is, in the plot of the movie, an attempt for the main characters, who fight demons, might I add, to add the final strength to the layer that separates demons from the regular world."
"It is supposed to be demon repellent. I wonder if she thinks 'Soda Pop' is demonic or not (hint: it is in the plot of the film)."
"Your wife needs to work on her media literacy." ~ CarbonationRequired
"I mean, both Soda Pop and Your Idol are sung by demons about devouring souls."
"Soda Pop, in particular, is pretty amazing because it sounds like generic romance metaphors, but in the context of the movie?"
"Nope: demons see humans as literal food/cans of soda." ~ DarkDuskBlade
"NTA, but I don't see you convincing her otherwise."
"I remember when all the stuff about Harry Potter went around."
"Some people look for these signs everywhere and wouldn't know if Satan was right in front of them."
"As with anything, I think as long as kids know shows are for entertainment purposes, they won't lose their souls to the Saja Boys." ~ Tired-unicorn-82
"I haven't watched the movie myself, but a lot of Christians I see on social media like it."
"Aside from the fact that the demons are a different kind of being than the ones in the Bible, I've heard that even though it's based on Korean mythology, you can extrapolate a lot of Christian themes out of it if you want."
"I also have to wonder if she missed the 'Hunters' part of the title." ~ Kiel-Ardisglair
"I've seen it, and you can definitely apply Christian themes to the movie."
"The demons are enticing and appealing, which is a theme often taught to Christian kids, as sins are often tempting and appealing."
"And the main characters literally fight them and do everything they can to keep them out and keep the people safe!" ~ cgaskins
"NTA. She sounds like my in-laws, everything was a demon when my husband was a kid, Pokémon, Dragon Ball Z, Harry Potter, etc."
"He wasn't allowed to watch any of it."
"It's absurd."
"It didn't stop the kid; he just watched all of it at friends' houses."
"And this teaches the kid that they have to lie to mum and dad." ~ dramaticbongos
"NTA, but you guys need to have a talk about church and the place it has in your life."
"Because that sounds like a pretty extremist type of church where they want to call things demonic because it mentions stuff like demons or magic."
"That's a discussion that needs to happen; she can't just believe anything someone says just because it sounds religious." ~ Eyelashestoolong
"NTA. The vast majority of Christians believe in demons."
"The movie having demons does not make it demonic."
"They are fighting the demons, not worshipping them."
"There is a decent amount of scripture related to the power of music."
"I really don't understand her take." ~ AdCurrent7674
"NTA. On top of what everyone else already said, I think it's ironic considering how Koreans are like some of the most Christian Asians out there, and we're talking about K-pop." ~ rekette
"OP, I was raised by new Christian parents. NTA."
"Please make sure your kids know you are safe to talk to and will not judge them or be mad at them for asking questions." ~ CheshireAsylum
"NTA, my mom burned my Harry Potter books because they were witchcraft… and yes, they were the original print, and I paid for them with my 'allowance' money."
"If your kids understand the difference between reality and fantasy, then who the hell cares?" ~ gooberdaisy
Reddit is firmly behind you, OP.
This sounds like it could become quite the situation for you and your wife.
Perhaps you should sit down together and watch the movie.
Then have a calm, coherent discussion about it and its themes.
Happy viewing.
Woman Asks If It's Wrong To Hold Grudge After Mom Told Her When She 8 Years Old That She Wished She'd Aborted Her
While some people view having and raising children as the greatest blessing, some parents hold their children's existence against them for their entire lives.
And when they feel that way about their children, they're unfortunately typically pretty honest about it, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor heavelymango knew from the time she was young that her mother did not really like her and significantly favored her sister.
But when her mother told her at the age of eight that she wished she had aborted her, the Original Poster (OP) held on to that grudge for years after the fact.
She asked the sub:
The OP had a grudge against her mother.
"I (22 Female) have been holding onto a grudge due to something my mom told me when I was roughly eight or nine years old."
"Growing up, I was a rebellious kid and always felt as if my mom favored my older sister. My sister would always get whatever she wanted."
"I know she was born with Down syndrome and always needed more attention and care, but if my sister wanted my tablet, for example, she would have it for the whole day while mine was limited to 30 minutes so she could have it."
"As a kid, I lashed out more because of this. She could take all of my things, but I could never use hers."
During a heated moment, the OP's mother said something unforgivable.
"Eventually, this led to an argument with my mom. I don't recall the whole thing, but it was related to my sister and how I felt my mom didn't care about me or give me the same amount of attention."
"The fight got heated, and I probably told my mom that I hated my sister and her."
"I remember she said back, 'I never wanted you from the start. I knew I should've aborted you when I had the chance.'"
" I didn't know what aborted meant at the time, and I remember I looked it up, and it made me cry. I never forgot it, and it lingers in my mind whenever I am home."
The OP's mother pressured her to "let it go" and move on.
"Even growing up, I still brought it up, and she would get mad, saying I need to let it go and how I'm stubborn for not just forgetting what she said."
"There was even a time in high school when she took me to a therapist, and she complained about how I never dropped what she said."
"She says I need to move on from it because it has affected my relationship with her, and she wants to fix it."
"I know I'm older now and it was so long ago, but it still hurts, and I feel like it's made me not want to have her in my life in the future, and I have told this to her."
"How I don't want her in my life once I move out, get married, or have my own kids."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that this sounded like a core memory more than a grudge.
"The axe forgets. The tree remembers."
"It sounds less like you're holding a grudge and more that this is a formative, core memory for you."
"It won't stop being a core memory (unless maybe with the help of a lot of therapy). Has your mom ever apologized for saying that? Because you don't have to forget to forgive, but if she's not remorseful for saying that terrible thing to her young child (not just remorseful that you remember it), then she probably needs therapy (or is a narcissist/sociopath/similar)."
"You are certainly not obligated to 'get over it.'" - Hot-Can3615
"This is not a 'grudge'; it is pain that is still felt to such a degree. If she said it, then she was thinking it. She'll probably never apologize, but that doesn't mean your pain is or was invalid." - Fast_Register_9480
"NOR. This kind of thing needs a real apology. Like she needs to acknowledge the damage and genuinely care about it. Brushing it off won’t make it go away." - TentacleWolverine
"NOR. Did she really want to fix things? She basically just told you to get over it from the start instead of giving you a sincere apology."
"That isn't working on anything. She wants you to get over it so she can pretend that she never said it, so she doesn't have to feel bad about what she did. It doesn't sound like she cares much about how you feel."
"She just doesn't want to deal with it. For that reason, I would still have issues with what she said." - Chemical-Ad6809
"If your relationship with your mother is being affected by the actions of your mother, your mother is responsible for fixing it."
"You should know you probably aren't ever going to get closure, but you don't have to swallow it down. It helps to be the person you needed when you were younger out loud to yourself, but especially to others."
"For example: My name is Liz, and my mom told me to go ahead and do it already and save us all the heartache when I finally had the courage to tell her about how much I've been struggling with self-harm and suicidal ideation. I'm never going to forgive her for that, and we have never been close as a result of her actions."
"You aren't holding onto a grudge; you have a core memory of your mother distilling her feelings into a world-shattering sentence."
"You did not have a secure attachment before and can't have one now because of the deep trauma. You do not apologize for being stabbed."
"Find another therapist. I mean it. Someone who cares about your well-being wouldn't force you to apologize for being verbally abused as a child. I'm 29 now, and I lived through it. I still struggle with suicidal ideation daily, but once I stopped relying on my mom and unstable sources for support, my life got better immediately."
"You want things for comfort and familiarity. Don't let your mom or your therapist gaslight you into crossing a boundary."
"It might help to ask for a written five-part apology from your mom. 1. Acknowledge what you did 2. Say why it was wrong 3. Promise not to do it again 4. Ask how to make amends. 5. Share your feelings at this time if there's anything you'd like to say."
"My mom can be a good person and a bad mom and role model. Being in your own company is so much better than poor company." - PotLuckyPodcast
Others hoped the OP would go no contact with her mother sooner rather than later.
"NOR. It’s emotional abuse. And you do not owe her closeness after that, especially as she refuses to be accountable for that and try to make it up to you."
"She knows you have her number, and she can’t forgive you for knowing what a colloidal b***h she is."
"It’s unlikely that will change; it will at least be turned back on you with her the victim."
"Stop expecting her to apologize. If she doesn’t pay your bills, ghost her." - SnooCheesecakes2723
"My mom said something similar. My brother and I were adopted, and when I was a teen, in front of a church lady, she said, 'We didn't even really want you, but the people didn't want to split y'all up, so we just took you, too.'"
"Me and the church lady were shook. When I say my falbbers were ghasted. Like huh? She didn't remember saying that when I brought it up years after the fact."
"I also got grounded two times for two separate nine weeks (for C's on my report card) and a three and a half to four months (for smoking at 16 and getting caught because she liked to just pop up out of nowhere), and we just had a talk about that, and she didn't even remember."
"She said, 'No, I didn't. I never grounded you for that long,' and when I gave my rebuttal, she said, 'Well, if I did, it definitely wasn't for no nine weeks or months,' and this started because she was praising me for reading so much and liking books. I said, 'Well, when you were grounded like me, that's all I could do (no TV, no friends outside of school, no music, nothing but my room and books)."
"There's a reason I only call or answer her calls once or twice every few weeks. And I only call to get food, really..." - ManicalMoe
"‘Fine, I'm sorry’ is not an apology."
"Whilst I’m sure it was said in anger, most things said in anger have a grain of truth. There are also some things that no half-decent parent ever says to their children, no matter how angry they are, and this is one of them! It also sounds like she has made repeated similar comments of not wanting you as her child."
"I understand her eldest had a disability, but this is no excuse for neglecting and emotionally abusing her younger child. Lots of families deal with a child with additional needs whilst still managing to prioritise their other kids. Children with Down syndrome are capable of understanding ‘that’s your sister's, not yours; give it back’ !! It sounds like your mum has mental health issues?"
"Do you have a present father or other family you can turn to?"
"Protect your peace. Your mum has hurt you time and time again, honestly, for no real gain other than momentarily satisfying her anger. You owe this woman nothing." - Background_Term9810
"I went through something similar. When I was a little girl, my mother used to make comments that implied she didn't want me, though it was never that explicit. 'I only had you because your brother wanted a sister,' and 'My figure never recovered after you; after your brother, it did.'"
"Each comment stayed with me, but I never addressed it with her. I tried to move on and leave it in the past. She did a lot of horrible things throughout my life, but her behavior was always ignored because that's the precedent my dad set, where she can do essentially whatever she wants."
"A few months ago, she came to see me because I was desperate for help and sick. Instead of helping, she made my life so much worse. I won't go into details. At one point, I could no longer keep it inside, and I told her that she is a narcissist, to which she responded with, 'It would have been better if I had never had you.'"
"In some ways, it felt really good to hear her come out and say it. It felt good to hear the truth I've always known."
"I don't know what you should do, but I've chosen to not forgive."
"Every time I forgave, I just let her know that she can get away with whatever horrible things she had done. Her apologies were never real apologies. She always found ways to blame me or others for whatever she had done."
"And I'm truly just done with it. As sad as it is to not have a mom, it's sadder to pretend that you have one when in reality you don't... quite the opposite, if anything." - Neos_Mom
"So, OP, what will hurt more: keeping her and the grudge in your life or making a break and going low or no contact with her?"
"Frankly, we've no idea of what she might have been dealing with at the time, but regardless, what she said was said only to cause pain and suffering. 'Sorry' doesn't magic that intent away."
"Me, I think spending time alone or with friends or in therapy away from her might be what you need here. You might come to some sort of acceptance, but if this is something that's just going to keep coming between you, then stop trying to have that relationship." - Tal_Tos_72
After the OP received feedback, she shared a few clarifications from her original post.
"I wanted to clear some things up, take accountability where it's due, and provide some much-needed context from many people commenting the same questions."
"I want to be completely honest. We had many arguments, and I was a rebellious kid. I acted out and argued with my mom."
"I don't want to give off the impression that I was an entirely innocent kid who never did anything wrong and my mom just snapped out of nowhere. We both said hateful and hurtful things to each other during our fights."
"Growing up, the only way she would accept an apology was if I got on my knees and begged her for forgiveness. If I ever asked her to apologize to me, she would say, 'I have nothing to apologize for; you should be the one begging for my forgiveness.'"
The OP had a lot of physical memories, too.
"Things also would turn into physical arguments, not just verbal ones."
"There were times when she would get so angry she would get physical. Like yanking me by my hair, twisting my arms, or throwing things at me (like remotes, a bug spray can, or a radio)."
"When she yanked my hair, I would fight back just to get her to let me go, and she would scream that I was trying to kill her and she would get me arrested. When she twisted my arm, and I begged her to stop because it felt like it was going to break, she would say she hoped it did."
"When she threw objects at me, she would say she wished they would hit my face."
"I remember in middle school, during an argument, she said she wished she could break my face and that she hated it because I look like my dad. I won’t lie, whenever she said things like that, I would say nasty comments about how she chose to have him put us in her."
While the OP wasn't financially ready to move out yet, she hoped to as soon as possible.
"Why haven't I moved out yet? The main reason I haven't been able to move out is financial."
"I wasn't making enough to support myself without worrying about whether I’d end up having to crawl back home."
"Thankfully, I have recently found a better-paying job. My plan is to move out between mid-to-late October, or early November at the latest."
"The only reason I can't leave this exact second is because I have a few legal/administrative things to get cleared up so I’m completely untied from my mom, which will take a few weeks."
The OP also had proof that her mother liked her sister better.
"Has my mom ever admitted to favoring my sister? Yes."
"In arguments, she has explicitly told me that she doesn't see me as her legitimate daughter, and that she adored my sister more and forever will. She has also called me a 'monster,' told me there is a certain type of evil inside of me, and said she was afraid I would be just like my dad and try to harm them."
"She would even tell me that she was telling family and friends these things about me, but then later claim she 'just said it in the moment' and wouldn't be crazy enough to actually tell people that."
"Because I was so confused growing up and didn't know if she was lying or telling the truth, I started avoiding our family when they came over."
"Naturally, that just made things worse because she would get mad at me for avoiding them (even now as an adult), completely ignoring the fact that she was the one who lied about what she told them."
Unfortunately, the OP didn't have support from her father.
"What about my dad? My dad is not in my life."
"He was around sporadically, but never as a stable parent. My parents separated before I was born and divorced when I was two or three."
"Growing up, it was just constant back-and-forth toxicity, with him telling me how toxic my mother was, and her telling me the same about him."
"He would mostly only come over to see my sister, and often used me to care for her if he wanted to take her out to eat. Ultimately, my dad didn't care about anyone else other than my sister (and his drugs)."
"I hope this can clear some questions on the original post. I know I didn't provide many details as I originally should have. I honestly didn't want to post something too long, and I honestly did not expect it to be noticed."
"Thank you all for taking time to talk to me and share your thoughts."
The subReddit fully sided with the OP, pointing out that no matter how heated the moment was, it would never excuse the terrible things the OP's mother had said to her.
If the OP's mother really wanted a relationship with her, she'd drop the defensiveness and demands, offer a genuine apology, and work hard to be better for both of her children.
That takes a very rare kind of person to pull off, and it didn't sound like the OP's mother had that in her.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp