Everyone can get on our nerves at times. Sometimes the repercussions of retaliation are too much though.
Redditor FrumpyHedgehog has an issue with a cashier at a store she frequents. The original poster (OP) is debating informing the store owners about the situation.
However, OP doesn’t want to tell on the cashier, as she’s unsure if this would get the cashier fired. And would that be too much?
To find out, OP asked the “Am I the A**hole” subReddit the question “Would I be the A**hole” (WIBTA).
And she really isn’t sure if she would be.
“WIBTA for telling the owners I don’t like their new hire?”
But what could make OP want to report the cashier?
“I (30sF[emale]) live walking distance of a local liquor (‘convenience’) store. I’ve been shopping there for 8 years. They sell alcohol, sodas, ice creams, tobacco products and marijuana products (it’s legal in my state) such as pipes, dab rigs, etc.”
“They also have some food items, which is how they were able to pass as a grocery store and remain open (‘essential’) during the shutdown. I usually go on Fridays after work or Saturdays and get some alcohol, juice, and snacks for movie/game night at home.”
“Recently their usual full-time employee obtained a much better-paying job, so they had to hire a new guy.”
“The first time I went in there, it was after work on a Friday. I got myself some alcohol (half pint of whiskey – some to make whiskey burgers for dinner and the rest for me), juice for the kid, and some snacks.”
“While ringing me up, the new guy starts talking to me about his alcohol addiction and struggles. I find this highly inappropriate because frankly, why are you working at a liquor store and telling customers here to buy alcohol about your drinking problems?”
“The second time I went, I got cigarettes only. He shook his head as he was grabbing them and side-eyed me a little but didn’t say anything.”
“Today I went in again, this time for alcohol (2 cans of the MXD long island’s if it matters). And sure enough, he has a comment: ‘You’re too young to be drinking like this. This isn’t good for you, today it’s two cans but tomorrow it’s a bottle”’
“Umm what? First off, if my age is a concern then card me (he never has). Second, I’m in my mid-30s. If I want to have a couple drinks after work, that’s my prerogative. And again, as previously stated, this is a liquor store – wtf dude?”
“I flat-out told him that he is working at the wrong place if he’s going to make snide comments and judge the customers for their alcohol purchases. His response was, ‘I mess with everyone, especially the old-timers, they’re my favorite.’ I took my purchase and change and left.”
“I don’t like comments about my purchases. I know damn well that I have other things I can spend my money on, but I also feel that after a week of adulting I should be able to have a drink or two without judgement and comments from the new guy that I don’t even know.”
“WIBTA if I mention the employee’s comments to the owners? I don’t want him fired or anything, just to stop with the judgements on customers.”
OP thinks the cashier’s comments were rude and inappropriate, but she also doesn’t want to be the reason someone loses their job.
Would she be wrong to tell the owners?
On Reddit, the users of the board judged OP for wanting to inform the owners of the cashier’s actions by including one of the following in their response:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
The commenters decided that OP should tell the owners. The behavior from the cashier was beyond inappropriate. Someone shouldn’t be making those comments if they work at a place that sells these things.
Beyond being NTA, some people think she would be wrong not to tell the owners.
“NTA at all. He should not be commenting on customer’s purchases and his attitude could drive customers away. I think they need to know about his behaviour.” – jeymien
“Exactly this. NO ONE should comment on a customer’s purchases. Period. No one wants to be judges by their purchases.”
“And a store clerk shouldn’t be keeping tabs on what people buy.” – AlbatrossSenior7107
“NTA. You would be doing the owners a favor by letting them know. A lot of people may just stop shopping there because they don’t want to deal with the commentary (I would), and if the owners know about it, they can address it.” – sqibbery
“This is correct, the owners can only correct the problem if they are aware of the problem. And if he is saying these kind of things to you he is probably saying similar things or worse to other customers. NTA” – Wisdomofpearl
“NTA NTA NTA. I worked at a liquor store and a convienent store. Please tell the owner. That’s not their business to get into your life or make comments like that.”
“Owners and upper management love repeat customers like you who are long term. Just tell them he needs to cool it with his remarks and comments.”
“Just say hey how are you to the customer , their total, say thank you goodbye. That’s it unless it’s actually a good conversation not a diss or rude comment.” – Scared-Mind4799
“You WNBTA. It is not his business if you drink, he has no right to judge you and him telling you he likes to mess with the customers is just wierd.
“I would tell the owners, they can look into it further. If you were an alcoholic, it still wouldn’t be his business. He does not know you. It is not his places to comment on your life.” – PopularJUNKIE
On top of all this, the cashier is far too judge-y for someone who’s job is selling the exact items he despises. Which makes everyone ask the same question.
Why does he even work there?
“NTA This guy is getting high and mighty about booze and cigarettes, and he works in a liquor store? sheesh. I’d be really annoyed by that, too.”
“I’d make a bingo card with things this guy says, and make a big show of pulling it out of your pocket and waiting to check off a box when he starts judging.”
“Then, when your bingo card is full, take it to the owner and demand a free bottle of Maker’s Mark!” – drdish2020
“NTA. He has no business working there if he is going to criticize the customers. It is going to have a bad effect on the business because no one will want to deal with him.”
“They are not going to know what he is doing unless you tell them. You absolutely should tell the owners.”
“I used to work in a liquor store. Making comments about how much someone drank or how often they came in was forbidden. Anyone caught doing this was written up and then fired.”
“It astounded me how often alcoholics ‘trying’ to get into recovery would get jobs at liquor stores.” – GrizeldaLovesCats
“NTA. Badmouthing alcohol in a liquor store? The owners would definitely want to know in case he’s saying it to others.”
“But…there’s a non-zero chance he’s only saying it to you. Trying to change you to his ideal. ‘You’re too young to drink that much’ has similar energy to ‘you’d be prettier if you smiled more.’”
“This guy shouldn’t be working there.” – InfraredElephant
“I sometimes have issues with my digestive and using the restroom, so sometimes I have to use OTC stuff. I’m already embarrassed/self conscious as is buying these things, I’d be humiliated if the cashier made some comment on it.”
“There’s even been times when my spouse would go buy tampons for me, and the cashier man would be all, ‘Dude you buy these for your chick? Ew I’d never do that!’”
“That’s cause real men treat their lady with respect and understand that we sometimes go through a lot during that time, and that it’s natural Kyle 🙄” – i_am_groot8890
“NTA I work at a store that sells vices (no booze, but everything else) and I would never make a judgmental comment to a customer about their purchases. I don’t say a word as dudes blow their entire paycheck gambling, because it’s not my job to police them.”
“It’s my job to sell our products, even if I personally disagree with the behavior. Let the owners know, say it just like you did here ‘hey, not trying to get newguy in trouble but this has been happening and it makes me uncomfortable’” – Think-Athlete-8774
OP should let the owners know, but maybe try her best to impart that it just needs correction, not something for him to lose his job over.
That said, if the cashier can’t learn to treat people respectfully, at a certain point, they’re bringing it on themselves.