Twins share a bond most siblings can’t relate to.
Redditor “aitatwinfuneralthrow” is facing one of the worst things a twin can face, but because of an argument with a relative, he’s turning to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) to seek feedback on his own actions.
The Original Poster (OP) asked:
“AITA for refusing to leave my [twin] brother’s funeral after cursing out my aunt?”
The OP explained:
“I’m not a good storyteller so I’ll try to keep this short and sweet… Last week, my family and I (24 M[ale]) put my twin brother to rest.”
“He crashed his motorcycle, and the EMTs weren’t able to arrive in time to save him. It’s been a lot to deal with since we were making plans to hang out now that restaurants and bars have begun opening back up.”
“The funeral was a pretty small family gathering. Two of my brother’s friends came and offered their sympathy, which was nice.”
“Our mom was inconsolable. Dad did his best to comfort her. I stepped out for a minute to have a cigarette before the service, trying to decide what I wanted to say about my brother.”
The OP engaged in what started off as a normal conversation with his aunt.
“My aunt (55 F[emale]) came out to say hi, then brought up how awful she feels for my parents, having to bury their own son.”
“I nodded and started to say something, but then she was like, ‘Do you think it’s really appropriate for you to be here?'”
“I was so confused like uhhhh that’s my f’king BROTHER. I didn’t say that yet, just stared at her like she must be telling some weird joke. I settled for ‘Are you kidding me?’”
“Then she said, ‘With you two being identical twins, it must be like seeing a ghost. I really think you should leave, it might make this easier on your mom’.”
“I completely lost it. I tried to stay firm but calm, saying she had NO RIGHT to say something like that to me, but my emotions got the best of me and I started screaming.”
“I called her some choice words, and my dad came out as I was calling her an evil b*tch.”
“I admit that may have been too much, and my dad yelled at me not to talk to his sister that way. He pulled her back inside and looked at me with this disappointed expression.”
“I went back in before the service. My aunt sat far from me and didn’t acknowledge me for the rest of the day.”
“My parents didn’t bring it up either. A few days later, my dad calls and says he wasn’t sure what had happened, but there had been no need to cause a scene on a day like that.”
“I explained myself but he’s not replied. My cousins think I’m a douchebag.”
Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked if and where guilt belongs by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
A strong majority of Redditors were dumbstruck at the aunt’s comment.
“What the f’k was your aunt thinking?!”
“NTA, and she was way out of line. That’s your twin brother… you have every single right to be there, even more than she would since she’s extended family.” – Palindromer101
Redditors who are also identical twins felt for the OP’s loss and slammed the aunt.
“I’m also an identical twin, and I would be absolutely shattered if I lost my sister, especially in such a tragic way.”
“His aunt stepped way out of line and should never had said anything at all. Comments like that about being a twin are exactly what gets you in the bad books with them.”
“Yes, OP looks like his brother, but he is a separate human being with feelings, and deserves to be treated as such.”
“Absolutely NTA. I’m sorry for your loss OP.” – cakesofren
“Again, another identical twin. I would not for the life of me leave my twin’s funeral. The aunt had the most idiotic reasoning. NTA.” – ExcaliBurrito69
“Also an identical twin. I would have said a lot more than that.”
“Like does she not get how hard it is losing a twin? That’s beyond unacceptable.” – allycm30
“I love this comment because I honestly believe if anything, OP underreacted.”
“How do you tell someone they shouldn’t be at their twin brother’s funeral? The f’king nerve I would have thrown a fit until she left the funeral, but OP kept it classy.”
“NTA, and something’s wrong with your family for defending her, or she probably lied and told them a different story than what happened and, unfortunately, they might have believed her over you.”
“Don’t waste time on her. She’s not worth it.” – imsohungrydude
The grieving mother was given credit for her presumptive ability to distinguish between the identities of her sons.
“NTA does she know your parents can tell you apart and see you as two totally different people?”
“I can’t imagine losing a twin. She should have offered her condolences and then STFU.” – happy_panda2400
“I am a mom of twin girls. I can attest the audacity and sheer ignorance of people when it comes to twins is astounding!” – Because1SaidSo
“I mean, also OPs mom has had nearly identical-looking sons for their entire lives.”
“Looking at one son isn’t like ‘seeing a ghost’; it’s like looking at her son. They’re separate and unique individuals.”
“And the only people who see them as weird clones of each other, indecipherable from the other, would be people who don’t know them as individuals.”
“Mom was inconsolable because she had to bury her child, not because her other son was there.” – iamasecretthrowaway
And while the aunt was criticized due to people being shocked at her reasoning, Redditors didn’t forget to pay their respect for the lone twin brother.
“I’m so sorry for your loss. NTA. That is a horrible thing for her to say. He was your twin. You have a right to grieve as well.” – nhannon87
The general Reddit consensus was that the OP had every right to remain at his own brother’s funeral and that the aunt should be the one to engage in a disappearing act.