It’s always sad when some people can only bring themselves up by taking others down.
Taking every possible opportunity to make fun of someone for their lack of skills, choice of clothes, or even just for being them.
It’s particularly hurtful when these unkind people are members of your own family.
Redditor OrdosDeluxe often found himself the butt of his father-in-law (FIL)’s jokes, owing to his lack of practical skills.
As a result, when the original poster (OP), found an opportunity to mock one of his FIL’s habits, he wasted no time in doing so.
In front of his entire family.
Worried he may have gone too far, the OP took to the subreddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for deliberately embarrassing my Father in Law in front of his family?”
The OP explained how his FIL needing his help proved to be an unexpected opportunity for revenge.
“I (36 M[ale]) am absolutely not what you would call a ‘handy’ kind of guy.”
“I can build an IKEA flatpack, and I can follow a YouTube tutorial to find out how to de-clog my washing machine, but I don’t have any, what my Father in Law (60 M) would call, ‘worthwhile skills’.”
“I have to give him the credit that he’s due, and say that he’s knowledgeable about plumbing, joinery and electrics.”
“He has often helped me and my wife with matters in our home (leaky pipe, some plastering work etc), and we have always been grateful and appreciative of his efforts.”
The OP did explain which skills they did excel in.
“My skills are more IT based.”
“I work in this field for a living, which means I often get saddled with the old chestnuts such as ‘can you fix the printer?’ or ‘the internet isn’t working’.”
“To me, these are simple issues to fix, but he’s very IT illiterate.”
“I never make a big deal about this because it’s the least I can do to repay his help.”
Skills that didn’t seem to impress his FIL despite taking advantage of them.
“However, he spares no opportunity whatsoever to take shots at my lack of ‘worthwhile skills.'”\
“He’ll say (often in front of family and friends) that I’m not a real man or that I’d be useless in an emergency, that sort of thing.”
“Because he does a lot of stuff that I generally suck at, I bite my tongue and don’t say anything to him.”
It all hit a breaking point.
“This week changed that.”
“We bought my daughter this massive climbing frame/swing set for her birthday.”
“My wife and I were able to assemble most of it, but the last few bits, as well as anchoring it to the ground were giving us issues.”
“My brother happened to stop by to visit, so he helped, but my wife also phoned FIL to come and help.”
“We got the job done, but again, the commentary continued, which was especially insulting considering my brother was there.”
“Yesterday, we were up visiting him.”
“I was there, as was my wife, his wife, and my wife’s brother and his wife.”
“He asked me if I could look at his laptop, as he had some sort of virus.”
“When I fired it up, it was one of those ransomware programs – the camera was showing the webcam feed on a fake police website.”
“I was able to get his computer somewhat back to normal after a while, which took longer than he’d have liked, according to his comments.”
“While I was bringing it back, he kept badgering me about what had caused the virus.”
‘A peruse through his internet history revealed a LOT of porn.”
“Nothing particularly embarrassing, but probably information that he wouldn’t have wanted to be shared.”
“It was out of my mouth before I had even finished processing the thought.”
“‘Loads of these porn websites have a lot of viruses and dodgy stuff. I’ll get you a membership from my Norton account’.”
“You could have cut the tension with a knife.”
“His wife looked super angry, and sister-in-law stifled a laugh.”
“We left shortly after that, but on the way out, we heard the two of them arguing.”
“My wife gave me both barrels in the car, but I said he is always giving me hassle, and I keep my mouth shut.”
“Things have been frosty ever since, and I wonder if I went too far.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed the OP was not the a**hole for embarrassing his FIL.
Everyone agreed that after the many times the OP’s FIL made mean or disparaging remarks about him, he put a target on his back, with many also wondering why the OP’s wife never came to his defense.
“You’re NTA.”
“If he doesn’t like the answer, he shouldn’t ask the question.”
“And he kind of got what he deserved after all his condescending badgering.”- Dittoheadforever
“NTA.”
“But your wife and her dad are.”
“If someone in my family was speaking to my husband like that, I would have shut that down immediately.”
“They can treat you with respect, or they can kick rocks.”
“You and your wife need to have a talk and then establish boundaries with her parents.”-ThrowRA_Mermaid
“I seriously can’t stop laughing.”
“Well, Dad?”
“What did we learn today?”
“He asked.”
“He badgered you, even, to tell him what caused the problem.”
“You did so.”
“Could you have done it better?”
“Yes.”
“You could have offered to teach him how to clean his browser history.”
“But did you do anything wrong?”
“Not a bit.”
“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, Dad.”
“NTA, OP.”- my80saddiction
“So the wanker turned out to be a wanker?”
“Hilarious.”
“NTA.”- descentbecomesafall
“I mean, I would have just not fixed the computer.”
“Being as you have no worthwhile skills and all.”
“Also, feels like your wife probably should have put the kibosh on this a long time ago.”
“The fact that she’s on your case about it isn’t great.”
“NTA, and please ask him if he’s ‘porned up the laptop again’ every single time he maligns your life skills from now on.”- Nosdarb
“I’ll give you a piece of advice, OP.”
“Make your wife understand that the fact that she allows this is deeply sh*tty of her.”
“One of my dear friends (F) married a man who wasn’t handy at all, and her mother made comments like this frequently about him.”
“Her dad was a mechanical genius and was happy to show her husband how to do things, and MIL always took the opportunity to make digs at him.”
“My friend didn’t really stand up for her husband, and when they eventually divorced at his behest after 12 years, he made it clear that this was one of the most hurtful, destructive things about their marriage.”
“NTA at all and best wishes, OP.”- PeytonPettimore
“NTA.”
“I laughed out loud. How could you pass up such an open goal?”
“If he can’t take it, he shouldn’t dish it out.”- jhdore
“NTA.”
“Why isn’t your wife protecting you from him?”
“She sounds mean.”- Mrfleas
“NTA.”
“This is priceless.”- taurus-girl29
“NTA.”
“The universe finally looped around to the ‘find out’ portion of things for him.”- EschatologicalEnnui
“NTA.”
“You deserve a round of applause.”- DinoSnuggler
“NTA.”
“I honestly think you’re giving yourself a harder time than you should.”
“Even if you were doing it as a direct response, it was truthful.”
“But I don’t think you were, maybe subconsciously?”- pottersquash
“So your FIL is a classic bullying blowhard?”
“Isn’t funny how guys like these seem to live in glass houses?”
“They can dish out a ton of opinions and insults but cannot handle it directed at them.”
“Honestly, he pushed to know how he got the malware.”
“What were you supposed to do?”
“Hum the Benny Hill theme song and make vague references to websites?”
“He needed to know that these porn sites do contain malware.”
“It sounds like you answered truthfully.”
“If anything, I’d be disappointed in your wife.”
“She doesn’t seem to be concerned about you but is worried about her Dad’s fragile ego?”
“Odd priorities there.”- Spiferwort
“NTA, but I would have handled it differently.”
“I would have made him a deal.”
“One more word about your lack of skills, and you tell the family where you got your virus.”- haemaker
“NTA.”
“LMFAO.”
“Just desserts, grampa.”- FlyingSkelly
“NTA.”
“And next time, point out that his daughter also doesn’t have these ‘worthwhile skills’ yet he does, so why didn’t he do his job as a parent and teach her?”
“Sick of people saying the younger generations don’t know how to do this or that, well maybe we would if you’d impart that f**king knowledge.”
“It’s the same people that moan about participation trophies. That idea didn’t come from the kids. Kids couldn’t give a toss.”- Magnitude_V1
As the saying goes, if you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
If the OP’s FIL didn’t like being publicly ridiculed, he should have led by example and not done it to anyone, especially his son-in-law.
One can only hope he learned this lesson and also might have figured out how to delete his browser history or browse in “incognito” mode.