It can be challenging for parents when their children grow up to be very different people than themselves.
Discovering they share virtually none of the same interests, have wildly different political beliefs, or want to go into a profession that couldn’t be more different than their own.
As a result, when some parents notice that their children are following a wildly different path, they might try to influence their children to be more like themselves.
Some do it subtly, others not so much.
Redditor Psychological-Fix350 was less than pleased that his 19-year-old son wanted to partake in a trend he never saw the value of.
While the original poster (OP) allowed him to go through with it, he did so with one condition.
A condition so wild that the OP’s son never for a moment believed his father was serious, only to be shocked and furious when he lived up to his word.
Wondering if he had gone too far, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for getting a matching tattoo to my son?”
The OP shared how after his son at last fulfilled his wish to get a tattoo, he ended up making his son deeply regret his decision.
“I am not a fan of tattoos.”
“Only because they are so ubiquitous now.”
“When I was a kid tattoos were rare and rebellious.”
“Nowadays they are everywhere and that’s fine.”
“People can decorate themselves however they want.”
“But, for example, my grandfather had tattoos.”
“His were from when he was in the military and were a memorial to his friends.”
“My son (19) has wanted a tattoo since he was little so I told him that was okay but to really consider whatever he got and have it be at least a little meaningful and not just do it to be ‘cool’.”
“I told him if he got something and it had no special meaning I would get the exact same one.”
“I guess he thought it was an empty threat because he got a tribal arm band tattoo.”
“I asked him about it and he said it just looked cool.”
“Okay, well I have disposable income and a high pain tolerance.”
“Now we have matching tattoos and he no longer wants to show his off.”
“He says I’m an a**hole for getting a tattoo just to prove a point.”
“I think it’s silly to get a meaningless tattoo to look cool.
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community largely shared the anger of the OP’s son, and agreed that he was the a**Hole for getting a matching tattoo as his son.
Everyone was perplexed and confused by the OP’s decision to get a matching tattoo, with many having trouble understanding the point he was trying to make, and feeling like he put his standards and beliefs aside by getting a meaningless tattoo himself, with others pointing out that his son is old enough to make his own decisions without his father’s permission.
“I think it’s silly to get a meaningless tatoo to teach your kid a lesson or prove a point.”
“BTW, what’s the lesson/point of you getting this tatoo?”
“The answer is : you have pyschological issues and you need some serious help.”- Primary-Criticism929
“I’d rather have a meaningless tattoo that I like the look of than have a tattoo that permanently shows what a petty and toxic person I can be.”
“YTA.”- StephWithHerCats
“YTA.”
“It’s downright stupid to get a meaningless tattoo just to prove your point.”- Competitive-Cut-6344
“YTA.”
“So now you’re an adult with a spite tattoo.”
“You really owned your son with that move!”- TemptingPenguin369
“Wouldn’t getting a meaningless tattoo out of spite be even sillier?”
“YTA.”- Solivagant0
“And apparently too much time on your hands.”
“YTA.”- Cubes_R_food
“Ah.”
“So, you didn’t get a tattoo because you wanted a tattoo, but because you wanted your son to no longer like his tattoo.”
“Your goal, specifically, was to ‘ruin’ his tattoo for him because you don’t like that he likes different things than you.”
“Since apparently your own bodily autonomy is less important to you than spiting your son and trying to make him feel stupid, I’d say there’s an 80% chance that, even now, at least one of his friends is advising him to get a particularly bad and prominent temporary tattoo so that you’ll copy it.”
“YTA, but hey, at least your son has a permanent reminder of why he shouldn’t trust you with anything he’s excited about.”- setaetheory
“YTA.”
“Getting a copy of the tattoo of your son and saying tattoos have to be meaningful/well thought about doesn’t really match.”
“The only thing you showed him is that you’re an a**hole AND you don’t stand behind your ideals.”-idontlikeyourd8ck
“A 19 year old guy with a matching tattoo with his parent, which he never agreed too.”
“Now he’s stuck with that forever unless he gets a cover up.”
“I understand how he would feel.”
‘You got a tattoo just to prove a point, don’t you think that’s also quite meaningless?”
“YTA.”- spacesoup_
“Have tribal tattoos come back around?”
“If so I know a lot of soon-to-be-really-excited 40somethings who made poor decisions in the 90s.”
“In any case yes YTA what a weird way to troll your kid.”- Brainjacker
“I think that you’re an a**hole but not because you got the same tattoo.”
“I think its because by this post you seem to believe that you can make your adult sons choices for him and if he decides upon something against your wishes you get to ‘punish’ him.”
“Its ok to want a tattoo because they look cool.”
“Its his arm not yours.”- KoolAidman3234
“YTA.”
“Girl, you didn’t get matching tattoos together?”
“You stole his tattoo idea to prove a point?”
“Did you really think this could go over well?”
“Tattoos don’t always have deep meanings and not everyone is going to think the same way you do.”
“Just because he came out of you doesn’t mean he is supposed to think exactly like you.”
“You cannot be this seriously dense about it.”- Thirsty-Boiii
“YTA.”
“‘UH DONT GET A MEANINGLESS TATTOO’.”
“Proceeds to do the same.”
“Sounds like you needed an excuse to get something done when you heard your whole life you shouldn’t get a meaningless tattoo.”
“He’s an adult and he is allowed to not agree with you, it was simply stupid of you to prove a point YOU believe in to someone who clearly does not think the same as you.”- Upbeat_Biscotti_7036
“YTA.”
“This is cringy.”
“Having the same tattoo as your son.”
“I feel sorry for your son though.”- Disastrous_Gap_7522
“YTA and really childish.”- aeroeagleAC
“YTA but this is hilarious.”
“Fair play for going ahead with your threat but sucks that you are now one of those people you judge for getting meaningless tattoos.”
“Tribal tattoos are a touchy subject too.”
“I’m guessing you and your son aren’t in a tribe?”- dreamygoddess7
“First sentence is off to a bad start if OP doesn’t want to be an a**hole.”
“YTA.”- GHERU42
“YTA.”
“But I have to admit you are committed.”
“This is not casual a**holery.”
“You are really committed to making sure you have no real relationship with your child.”-RhiannonNana
“YTA.”
“My daughter is counting down the days she turns 18 to get a potato tattoo.”
“Potato.”
“Me and her dad already said we would pay for it and all for it, it’s hilarious.”
“Who cares?”
“You do not own your child’s body and went above and beyond to make them uncomfortable with something they were excited about on their body.”
“You just proved to them how petty you will be and how far you will go to hurt them, how is that being a parent?”- insane_normal
“This would have gone better if you just got like a henna.”- the_dovahbean
“YTA, from a middle aged woman with no tattoos or piercings of my own.”
“At 19 he didn’t need your permission or approval for it.”
“‘I liked it’ is plenty of reason to get a tattoo, and it’s really nunya business why someone chose how to adorn themselves.”
“You might as well have gotten a tattoo of a giant red flag on your forehead.”- ProjectedSpirit
“YTA.”
“You: tells son, ‘don’t get stupid tattoos that are meaningless’.”
“Your son: gets tattoo that’s meaningless.”
“You: gets same meaningless tattoo to be petty.”
“This whole scenario is just dumb, so yeah YTA.”- KrNiTa
“YTA.”
“Cut off your nose to spite your face.”
“Talk about being petty, hypocritical and an AH.”
“You are apparently an adult parent with an adult son but in this post, you truly are not an adult, certainly not a mature adult.”- catskilkid
The OP wasn’t wrong in warning his son that tattoos are permanent, and some people look at certain tattoos they got as an unpleasant reminder of a past mistake.
Something the OP will likely do, after he went against his own warning.
One can only imagine he’ll try to prove his points a bit more carefully down the line.