Bringing children into the world is a joy that defies description, and some would say it makes everything pregnant women go through until that joyous day all worth it.
Achy backs, morning sickness, and exhaustion are only some of the things expectant mothers go through.
As a result, their partners often bend over backward to make sure they can help out in any way they can.
Occasionally resulting in well-meaning, but ultimately misguided gestures.
Upon finding her sleep being completely disrupted, Redditor stevia05142019 and her husband came up with a new sleeping arrangement.
However, the original poster (OP) soon learned that her husband was taking extra measures to make sure her sleep wasn’t disrupted.
A gesture which was rather less than hygienic, resulting in the OP confronting her husband and telling him to stop.
Wondering if she was out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA? My husband pisses in bottles at night and I’m annoyed.”
The OP explained why she did not appreciate her husband’s efforts to make sure he didn’t wake her in the middle of the night.
“As the title states my husband pisses in bottles at night to avoid leaving the room.”
“A little back story.”
“This is something I have asked him not to do numerous times.”
“We currently do not sleep in the same room, I am 37 weeks pregnant and he snores.”
“So we’ve just been separated for ease of sleep at this point.”
“He had urinated in a few bottles while sleeping in our babies nursery.”
“I asked him to please not do that and just get up and use the restroom two steps from the bedroom.”
“He claims he’ll wake the dogs which in turn will wake me and he doesn’t want to disrupt my sleep.”
“I told him I would prefer he went to the bathroom and not urinated in bottles in our soon-to-be baby’s room.”
“I thought we’d gotten over it but this morning I went in to turn his sound machine off as he had already left for work.”
“I found an emptied bottle that clearly had urine in it at one point.”
“I sent him a rage text saying it’s f**king disgusting, and I’ve asked him not to do it.”
“He genuinely seems to think that he’s doing me a favor by not getting up at night.”
“The dogs bark regardless, and my sleep is sh*t at this point in pregnancy anyways.”
“He doesn’t see why it’s a problem if he dumps it out in the morning.”
“I try to argue I get my happy pregnant a** up to use the bathroom.”
“I’m at a loss…. Am I the a**hole?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for telling her husband to stop peeing in bottles.
Everyone agreed with the OP that what her husband was doing was not only unhygienic but also rather inconsiderate, and he needed to stop immediately, with some even wondering if the OP should even remain in this marriage.
“Today I learned there are people desperately trying to be less attractive to the opposite sex.”-therapoootic
“Peeing in bottles is like, an emergency during a road trip in the middle of nowhere last-resort type thing.”
“But peeing in a bottle in your own home?”
“I also highly doubt that he genuinely believes he’s doing you a favor by not getting up at night.”
“The mental gymnastics required to get to that excuse.”
“I know malicious incompetence and gaslighting are go-to buzzwords for AITA, but that really does sound like bullsh*t.”
“You’re not being unreasonable; he just wants you to feel like you are.”
“Let’s keep things in perspective here: he’s a grown man who pees in bottles even after his spouse has repeatedly asked him to stop.”- nixiepixie12
“Guaranteed there’s drops of piss all over the nursery.”
“There’s no way this dude wakes up, turns the light on, aims perfectly, and puts the cap back on the bottle without spilling a drop.”
“He’s doing this because he wants to.”
“Don’t let him act like he’s doing you some big favor here.”
“How does he wash his hands without leaving bed?”
“Since you’ve categorically stated that it is not at all beneficial to you for him to be doing this and that you hate it, it may be time to start brainstorming some more radical ways to put a stop to it.”
“Hide/throw out all bottles.”
“If he’s doing this out of laziness, he might be too lazy to get hold of a bottle and thus get out of the habit.”
“But likely it’ll just start up again when you stop going through the hassle of strict bottle disposal, so this probably won’t work.”
“Tell him that if he thinks it’s acceptable to pee all over his child’s nursery, then he can f*cking well move back in with his mother and ask her to wipe up his piss because you certainly didn’t sign up to do that for him (at least, barring any medical reasons down the line I guess).”
“You could threaten to ask her what she thinks about this.”
“Cut holes in all empty bottles.”
“There’ll be one mess – which he will have to clean up, on pain of castration – and then tell him that you will be doing this to all bottles going forward.”
“And that if he gets a single drop of urine anywhere not in the bathroom going forward, then he needs to start wearing diapers until he’s potty trained again.”
“Tell him that you are going to tell on him to his friends.”
“And then follow through if he doesn’t stop.”
“Shame might be the only thing that works.”
“It seems he doesn’t care that you think he’s absolutely disgusting.”- iamnogoodatthis
‘Hey OP. I recommend shining a blacklight all over the rooms your husband has been in.”
“Like someone else said, I doubt there is only pee in those bottles.”
“What your husband is doing is absolutely disgusting and unhygienic.”
“BLACK LIGHTS CAN DETECT URINE TOO.”- AmaltheaPrime
“Just get him to wear adult nappies since he’s in the nursery as well.”- PotatoGirl104
“If he at least cleaned up after himself, I could buy the ‘I’m being considerate, not waking you up’.”
“But leaving a bottle with pee in it around?”
“That’s gross and lazy.”- TeddingtonMerson
“Does he have any hoarder tendencies?”
“This is common among hoarders, sadly.”
“I don’t know why people do this, but trust me, there are accidents and spills.”
“It feels a lot like a mental disorder, to be honest.”
“My MIL was peeing into cans and wastebaskets, and when she moved into senior housing, we spent $800 trying to clean the overpowering odor out of the carpet and ultimately had to replace all the carpeting and seal the subfloor.”
“I got a nose and throat infection just breathing in that room while we repainted.”
“Hope you can get him to a therapist like, yesterday, to try to work this habit out.”- DrBeckenstein
“So gross the nursery is going to smell like pee.”- Mission-Humor6308
“Are you sure he doesn’t have a drinking problem?”- cassowary32
“This is beyond foul.”
“I (somewhat) understand that you’re married with a baby on the way, but this would be grounds for divorce imo.”
“I could never find someone who did this attractive, let alone contain my rage long enough to be civil towards them.”
“Today, I feel sad that I know how to read.”- FluffyPufffy
“But surely this can’t be new behavior for him.”- FlashRx
“Honestly this is beyond inappropriate, and if he can’t respect your request to change his habits, you should seriously examine the relationship.”
“Not only does this mean he’s not washing his hands, he’s likely also not managing 100% accuracy.”
“It’s a cleanliness problem for sure.”
“But it’s also a respect issue.”
“You’ve asked him not to do this- yet he’s claiming he does it so YOU don’t wake up.”
“Something doesn’t add up with that- this isn’t about ensuring you can sleep.”
“This is either some gross fetish, a control issue of forcing his way on you, or some other larger problem.”
“I’d recommend couples therapy to have a third party mediate the conversation- he’s not respecting your request, and that translates to a much, much larger problem moving forward.”- SpicyTurtle38
One could at least argue that the heart of the OP’s husband is in the right place.
Even so, one imagines that the OP is pretty clear in that she’d much rather be woken up in the middle of the night by a flushing toilet and/or a barking dog than deal with urine residue in the nursery of their soon-to-be-born child.
Perhaps if the OP tells her husband that urine has the potential to become toxic when leaving the body might persuade him to take a few extra steps and use the toilet.