We all love our pets.
Our friends and neighbors might not share those feelings though.
Strange as it may sound, many people can’t stand dogs, cats or any animals, finding it impossible to be in the same room with them, let alone pet them or walk them.
Redditor Timely-Possible-9467 was one of those people, who let it be known, in no uncertain terms, that his house was an animal free home.
Even so, the new girlfriend of one of the original poster (OP)’s friends didn’t manage to get the memo, and ended up bringing her dog with her to a party the OP was hosting at his house.
Even though he was informed that this dog was more than merely a pet, the OP was furious at the sight of the dog, and found himself at odds with his friend as a result.
Wondering if he overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not letting a service dog into my party.”
The OP explained how the presence of a dog at his house resulted in his party being unceremoniously disrupted.
“I (29 M[ale]) hosted a pumpkin carving party for my friends and I this past weekend and a decision I made is causing drama amongst us.”
“The party was indoors as its still nearly 100 during the day where I’m at.”
“I dislike cats and dogs, any and all.”
“My friends know this. Primarily, i think they are filthy.”
“I want nothing to do with them because of that.”
“A buddy and his current fling, early relationship girlfriend, how every you want to define it showed up, she has a golden retriever with her.”
“I did not know this dog was coming.”
“No one ran this by me, I would have said no.”
“I pulled him aside and told him the dog had to go.”
“He says if the dog has to go, she has to go, and then I have to go to.”
“I just say, come on man, you should know better than to bring a dog to my house.”
“He said that it’s a service animal, apparently for diabetes.”
“He thought it would be different.”
“I said no, it might medically help her, but its still a f*cking animal.”
“He starts arguing but maintain my stance.”
“I offered to keep it in the garage with the AC on.”
“He goes and talks to his girl and she looks annoyed, I felt bad about that.”
“They opt to leave.”
“He lets me know I’m an a**hole.”
“My friends were all split on how I handled it.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
While the Reddit community was fairly divided, the OP received little to no sympathy for the way they responded to their friend and his girlfriend at his party.
Some felt the OP had every right to be angry to see a dog show up at his home unannounced, regardless of whether he liked them or not, and regardless of whether or not it was a service dog.
“So as someone who is allergic to dogs and would suffer from allergies while the dog was in my house and after too from dander they shed…. I wouldn’t be ok if someone brought an animal to my house without me knowing about it before hand.”- Dry-Comment3377
Many felt that the OP’s friend should have at least called and checked with the OP if it was all right for his girlfriend to bring her service dog to his house, they still felt that he badly overreacted.
“Ehhhh…. nobody comes out of this looking good.”
“Your buddy should have given you a heads-up beforehand.”
“Your anti-animal stance is so extreme that you chased away a friend.”
“You don’t have to love dogs or anything, but maybe you should step back and figure out why your animal hostility level is so high that even a medical service animal sitting there and minding its own business is somehow a crisis.”
“I guess ESH.”- ghrutnsn
“Your friend should have said something knowing your feelings towards animals.”
“Totally agree with that.”
“But your whole posts screams ‘I am a disrespectful a**hole’ calling his girlfriend his current fling?”
“Don’t get me started in how you talk about cats and dogs.”
“Personally, I think I would have enjoyed the presence of the golden retriever more than yours.”-blueeyed94
“I’m a service dog handler and I think everyone handled the situation poorly.”
“You are not in the wrong for not wanting a dog in your private dwelling.”
“It’s your right not to allow even a service dog in your private home.”
“However, I think the way you handled the situation was poor.”
“It sounds like you were not very understanding of the sh*tty position that you put your friend and his girlfriend in and the way your actions probably made them feel.”
“Like I said, you have every right to make the decision to not allow whatever medical equipment you want in your house, but if you choose to make that decision, you need to understand that there are effects on the person whose medical equipment you’re banning.”
“When you choose to exclude someone like that, especially on the basis of a disability that they can’t control, it’s understandably going to be hurtful to the person you’re excluding as well as their loved ones, and you should have approached the situation with a lot of tact, empathy, and sincerity.”
“Based on your post, it doesn’t sound like you approached the situation with any of those things and that you expected them to be cool with the way you treated them, which is unreasonable.”
“I also think your friend and his girlfriend handled the situation poorly.”
“I can tell you that I would never, ever show up at someone’s private home with my service dog without clearing it with the person first.”
“Like I said, the homeowner has every right to not allow my dog there, and sometimes there’s even very good reason for that, like someone in the home having a dog allergy or a fear of dogs.”
“And even if the person just goes ‘I don’t like dogs and therefore don’t want you here’, that’s their right, so I always check first and respect the homeowner’s decision.”
“The friend and the girlfriend absolutely should have spoken with you about this first.”
“However, they were not a**holes for being upset.”
“You told them, ‘My dislike of dogs is more important to me than spending time with you and more important to me than your physical safety’, and while you have every right to feel that way, they also have every right to be upset by that.”
“You can’t expect that people will not have a negative reaction when you choose to treat them that way, and they are not a**holes for responding negatively.”
“They thought you were their friend and found out that you’re not (or at least not a very good one) and they were disinvited from a party in front of an audience because the girlfriend has a disability, which is a super sh*tty thing to go through.”
“So yeah, they’re going to be upset with you about it, and I don’t think they’re in the wrong for feeling that way.”
“You both made mistakes.”
“They should have asked you ahead of time about the dog, and you should have treated them with more empathy when telling them they had to leave and also be more understanding of the fact that you making a decision that is hurtful to others is going to have consequences.”- Altruistic_City163
While a few agreed that while calling ahead about the service dog would have been the polite thing to do, the OP’s behavior was inexcusably rude.
“Well, this is ‘am I the AH’ not ‘am I within my legal rights’ and I’m going to go with YTA because of your response and your reasoning.”
“Your friend should have given you a heads up, given your extreme attitude about animals, and should know you well enough to know you were going to be an AH about it.”
“But your reasoning is poor – you were hosting a pumpkin carving party, an activity so notoriously messy I don’t even carve pumpkins at my house even though I love all things Halloween, but animals are filthy.”
“Pets are no more inherently filthy than people, and I’ll bet the expensive service animal she requires to go everywhere with her is very well groomed.”
“Also, all you needed to do is explain you weren’t given a heads up about the animal coming and that you aren’t comfortable with animals.”
“Telling them ‘it’s still a f**king animals’ is petty and an AH move.”
“So are you entitled to your boundaries?”
“Were you an AH?”
“Also yes.”- veronica_vivian
Needless to say, the poor young woman needs her service dog when out and about.
Even so, calling the OP would have been the right thing to do.
While not liking dogs might not be the most valid reason, some people at the party might have been allergic or afraid and deserved to know a dog was coming as much as the OP.
That being said, there is a polite way to say no and tell people they’re in the wrong.
Something the OP didn’t even try to do.