There are several highly varying perceptions of masculinity.
In some cases, it’s ingrained in young boys by their families that they should or shouldn’t behave a certain way.
While some young boys are influenced by social media telling them what it is to be a real man.
No matter the source, it can be agreed that anyone being told what is and isn’t masculine is unhealthy and even dangerous.
Redditor Top_Ad1720 recently went to dinner with his girlfriend and his younger brother.
During the dinner, the original poster (OP) was taken aback by his brother’s semi-relentless “alpha male” behavior and wasted no time poking fun at him.
As one might expect, the OP’s brother did not appreciate being the butt of his jokes.
Wondering if he was out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for mocking my brother that talks about being an alpha male?”
The OP explained why couldn’t help but make fun of his little brother on a recent dinner out.
“My (20 M[ale]) little brother (15 M) is in high school.”
“I just came back to my hometown from college for break and brought my girlfriend to come with me for a week.”
“I decided to go out to a restaurant with me, my gf, my brother, and my sister.”
“When we were sitting down, my little brother showed me a weird TikTok.”
“It was first a video of a girl saying short guys are not men or something, and then it cuts to some guy lifting weights and insulting her.”
“I thought it was stupid and made fun of my brother for it, and then he called me a beta and said my girlfriend probably has an OnlyFans.”
“She obviously told him she didn’t have one (because she didn’t), and I told him he’s an idiot.”
“I then looked at his TikTok account and scrolled, and it was all just dudes going to the gym and lifting weights or people talking about ‘how to be masculine’ and stuff, so I was laughing and making fun of it.”
“My brother then got mad and stopped talking.”
“Aita?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
While the Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole, unlike the OP, they did not find his brother’s behavior to be a laughing matter.
Just about everyone found the behavior of the OP’s brother incredibly worrisome, with many agreeing that he was heading down a very dangerous path if the OP and his family didn’t intervene sooner rather than later.
“NTA but you need to make an actual effort to keep him away from these toxic grifters.”
“Talk to your parents or other older adult in his life.”
“This podcast bro stuff can start out harmless (lifting weights, having confidence) and often gets dark.”
“Just look at what Tate is awaiting trial for.”- gloomyrain
“NTA.”
“Little brother needs guidance. He’s heading the wrong way, following the wrong lead.”
“Laughing was a good start, but you need to seriously tell him that the stuff he’s watching isn’t a good influence.”
“He needs better examples and won’t find them among the ‘alpha’ crowd.”- dmcdd
“NTA but holy cow, you need to intervene.”
“Your brother is watching the most toxic of toxic masculinity.”
“Talk to your parents.”
“He honestly may need therapy to examine his feelings about women before his misogyny gets rooted too deep.”- BladeMaster0182
“NTA.”
“Inferring that your girlfriend has an OnlyFans is both weird and inappropriate coming from your brother.”
“He is quite young and immature. This maybe the reason for him to act that way, but he needs to respect your girlfriend.”
“Sounds like he might be struggling with his own masculinity.”- Throwdiscus
“NTA.”
“Someone needs to break him of the stereotype he’s putting himself into.”- deadevilmonkey
“This kind of nonsense is really dangerous.”
“It’s putting girls at risk in schools as well as impacting the mental health of boys.”
“Do talk to your parents.”- NiobeTonks
“NTA Brother is definitely going down a dark and lonely road with that type of content consumption.”
“Any man (or boy) that uses this kind of rhetoric is a walking red flag to me (a moderately attractive woman in a very happy and healthy relationship).”
“Did sis have anything to say during this conversation?”
“I think I would have a talk with sister to make sure she wasn’t being mistreated by brother, to be safe.”
“Might have a little chat with the rest of the family too.”
“If you’re concerned about his behavior.”
“Good luck.”- Squirrelly_girlly
“NTA but it’s probably worth checking up on what’s going on in his life.”
“Maybe he has some self-esteem issues or has dealt with rejection at school and leans on these cringe videos to get some solace from these weirdo meatheads.”
“After all, you’re in college, and you’re not as available to help navigate him away from that silly stuff.”- shuckyducked
“NTA.”
“There is no such thing as an alpha or beta male.”
“There are people with a lack of emotional intelligence, though.”
“I’ve seen plenty of people on TikTok who lift weights and dislike the alpha male mentality.”-Orange_Fire_Fan
“NTA, his media is alarming.”
“Especially if he’s quoting these things sincerely and not as a joke.”
“I’d talk to y’all’s parents about it.”- OriginalBlerd
“NTA.”
“Your bro may need some therapy, tbh.”
“Getting into that mindset so young (he’s barely in puberty, dude) is going to either set him up for failure or set up an unknown number of girls and women to be abused.”- MontanaWildWiman
“NTA.”
“You showed him who the ‘alfa male’ is (This is a joke).”
“He is entering a loop of toxicity and probably needs someone to talk to him about insecurities and respecting others.”- No-Jelly556
“NTA.”
“Everyone who claims to be an alpha male deserves a reality check.”
“Also, while you’re at it, you might explain that it’s not something bad to have an OF account.”- No-Entertainer-9288
“NTA, show him videos of Andrew Tate getting roasted after his arrest.”- johnnyjrkoff
“I’d say NTA.”
“You called him out on harmful beliefs.”
“However, mocking his beliefs is probably not the best way to stop him from going down that road.”
“It’s probably better to have a one-on-one, calm discussion about why you disagree and why you believe he shouldn’t be watching such stuff.”- Slovenlyfox
“15-year-old telling his brother ‘your gf has onlyfans’ and ‘you are beta’, really?”
“What kind of society is this? Is there not a family relationship at all?”
“Why would a brother tell his other brother this thing?”- Wingardiumis
“NTA.”
“But just laughing at him might make it worse.”
“Your brother is on the edge of a deep dark hole and needs help before he is irredeemable.”
“What’s your dad like?”
“Is he a good influence you can talk to about this?”
“Can you spend more time with him and help him understand what’s wrong with these people he’s following on SM?”- Fianna9
“NTA, he sounds like a bit of a dork, and as the older brother, it’s your job to set his head on straight so he goes down the right path.”
“He’s still young and figuring things out, but it’s good to help try and guide him in a better direction than what he’s looking at now.”
“Sometimes just giving him a heads up as to how foolish he is looking right now can help do that.”
“Also saying your GF probably has an OnlyFans is completely out of line, and you wouldn’t have been wrong to put him in his place on that alone.”- BramptonBatallion
“NTA.”
“Anyone that uses the phrase ‘Alpha Male’ to describe themselves or indeed subscribes to that alpha, beta, gamma male BS deserves scorn and ridicule.”
“Honestly, these people are a problem and need to be called out.”
“You have done the world a service.”
“If anything, you need to be more brutal.”- occasionalrant414
“NTA.”
“You need to help him understand how unhealthy that viewpoint is.”
“Working out and fitness is great. If he’s interested, help him.”
“Alpha Male stuff is just repugnant.”
“Show him that you’ll not meet many people on either side of that line.”- thetempesthascome
“No you are NTA.”
“your brother, however, is at a very impressionable age and is headed down a VERY dangerous pipeline.”
“Like, the incel one.”
“I’d suggest to y’all’s parents that they get him into therapy sooner rather than later.”
“Best of luck.”- doldrumcircus
It must be said that 15 is a very vulnerable age, where people are very easily influenced by just about anyone or anything.
This is why it’s all the more important for the OP to make sure that he and his family keep a close eye on his younger brother to make sure he doesn’t stray down a dangerous path.
As no form of accepted masculinity should ever justify rudeness.