There’s very little more frustrating than developing a crush on someone, only to realize the feeling isn’t mutual.
Depending on how strong your feelings are, some cases are far more painful than others.
Most of the time, however, it’s never personal, so all one can do is move on, and find someone who shares your feelings.
Redditor Kvatchdididatch found himself becoming the apple of the eye of a young woman whom he had no interest in.
Despite telling her multiple times. that he didn’t see the spark, the young woman was relentless in her pursuit of the original poster. (OP).
While the OP did his best to move on, things came to a head when his close friend became involved in what he felt was a truly intrusive manner.
Wondering if he handled the situation as well as he could have, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA For walking out on a double date my friend set up with him, his girlfriend and a girl I had already rejected before.”
The OP shared how he agreed to attend a blind double date arranged by his best friend, but was flabbergasted to discover who his friend set him up with.
“To give you a little background to this situation, I (25 M[ale]), met Jane (24 F[emale]), through Joe’s (26 M) girlfriend at her birthday party last year.”
‘At first Jane was fun to talk to but not even an hour later Jane was really in to me and tried really badly to hit on me during the party, which pretty much ruined my time there as the feeling was not mutual in the slightest bit also at the time I was already with someone.”
“So the first impression I got from Jane was that she was clingy, annoying and just wouldn’t stop bothering me.”
“Unfortunately for me she became part of my larger friend group because she is part of Joe’s girlfriends friend group.”
‘That is a mouthful sheesh, and because me and Joe hang out a lot and I am also friends with his girlfriend, I pretty much run in to her at minimum twice a month.”
“So first time Jane asked me out was a month after that party, I informed her I was with someone and not interested, she tried again a 2 months later when I broke up with my then girlfriend, again I declined her advances and told her I was not interested.”
“I got in to a new relationship not long after but unfortunately she and I broke up about 2 months ago.”
“Since then as you might have anticipated, Jane has asked me out again, I said no again.”
“Well that brings us to this week, everything has been opening up here and Joe had been trying to fix me up with a friend of his girlfriend and would not tell me who.”
“He is well aware of me having rejected Jane multiple times and the fact I am not interested in her, he knows this in detail.”
“After a lot of what he calls convincing and I call whining, I had no interest in dating anytime soon, I relented and decided to agree to this double date idea of his.”
“We agree on meeting at Joe’s apartment and lo and behold Joe, His girlfriend and Jane are occupying the dinner table obviously intending for my date to be Jane, I honestly just got so goddamn angry I that I couldn’t even get a single word out, turned around and left.”
“I have been bombarded with texts and calls about how much of a douche I am and how terribly I hurt Jane and so on and I am just like, I literally rejected her like three times, I am not interested in her, you knew that, your girlfriend knew that, our entire friend group has a running joke about obsessive Jane FFS so literally everyone knows it.”
“So am I the a**hole?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for walking out on his blind date.
Everyone agreed that Joe was out of line for tricking the OP into a date with Jane, knowing he wasn’t interested in her, with many also pointing out that the OP’s resistance to Jane was justified owing to her aggressive behavior.
“NTA But your friend obviously is.”
“Setting someone up with someone who rejected that person is cruel.”
“Not the fact that you turned around.”
“I would honestly done the same.”- JustLetBe
“You may want to speak to your friend about it.”- troop2343
“You’ve made your feelings more than clear to Jane and your friend as well.”
“You had every right to leave, as you had already rejected her 3 times and still she set herself up for rejection number 4.”
“You’re not responsible for her hurt feelings at this point.”
“Your friend should have known better than to blindside you with a ‘date’ with someone he knows full well you have zero interest in.”
“Though if I might venture a guess, I’d say that the double date was 100% Jane’s and your friends’ girlfriends’ idea, and your friend most likely just got pressured into convincing you to come.”- Sinjury
“Jane can’t take the hint that you’re not interested in her and your friend and his girlfriend were trying to manipulate you into going out with her.”- JenovaCelestia
“You rejected Jane, everyone was aware, the double date idea is not only stupid but also.”
‘Very, very much ultra stupid.”- SandrineSmiles
“What the hell were those three expecting?”
“For you to suddenly see her all made up for dinner and fall in love like it’s a teen romance film?”-grassfedviolins
“They all knew that you don’t want to date Jane.”
“It’s even a running joke in your friend group.”
“You were deliberately not told the date was Jane, so they could force you on the date.”
“The a**hole move would have been asking when your date gets there, as you obviously would never date Jane.”
“If I were you, I would blow up their phones with articles of consent and coersion, and full on block Jane.”- annoyedpotatolady
“Everyone else is TA in the situation.”
“If the roles were reversed and you were a woman and Jane was a man I’m sure NO ONE would be giving you a hard time right now.”- DeepSeaFacial
“Jane needs to learn to take no for an answer and Joe is a terrible friend for doing this to you.”
“Not that it’s any excuse but perhaps he was forced/pressured/manipulated into this stupid plan by his girlfriend and didn’t have the nuts to stay no to her.”
“Again, still not excuse and all 3 of them are TA’s.”- aitathrowwwwwwwww
“The whole concept of ‘keep asking till they say yes’ is f*cked up regardless of who’s asking whom.”
“Consent under coercion, whether that be to sex or a date, is not proper consent.”
“Consent under omitted truth is not consent either.”
“You have rejected this person and denied her multiple times.”
“She should get the hint.”
“You’re generous enough to give her reasonings behind your no, but ‘no’ is a full sentence and should be the end of the story.”
“Also, your friends Joe and his SO are dicks in this sense.”
“Forcing you into a double date with someone that you’ve rejected multiple times and that he is aware of while refusing to tell you who it is until you arrive is not how you remain friends with someone.”
“As much as I hate this phrase’s use here on Reddit: if the genders were reversed, would this have happened?”
“Would your friends have tried to force a date on their unwilling friend with someone they’ve denied many times?”
“Unfortunately, yes, but there would be more outrage from others.”
‘You set boundaries by saying no and letting others know that you and Jane weren’t happening.”
“They crossed that boundary.”
“You have every right to enforce your boundaries further by not giving in to their boundary-crossing.”
“If that was by simply walking away and not participating in this double date or furthering any drama/discomfort, then that is ok.”
“You’re not an a**hole for holding firm on your boundaries, and you wouldn’t be an asshole to set firmer boundaries with Joe and his SO going forward.”- diabhal-an-musica
People always imagine some of their friends might make a cute couple, and will often go to great lengths to get them together.
But chemistry is a natural occurrence which can’t be forced, something Joe should have accepted with The OP and Jane.
Particularly as Joe was well aware that Jane wasted no time in making moves on the OP despite knowing he was with someone else.
Not exactly love at first sight.