Some people need constant peace and quiet.
Or at the very least, some people, may need a certain number of consecutive hours of sleep in order to function.
Noisy apartments, noisy neighbors, noisy cities can all lead to major discomfort.
Or there could be more to the story.
Case in point…
Redditor cheapapartmenty wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for telling my boyfriend that he can’t date younger and then get upset about my budget apartment?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“So I recently got together with a guy from my hobby.”
“He asked me out first and I had some doubts that we’d work together as a couple because of the age difference, he’s 35 and I’m 22.”
“So, in my apartment, since it’s an old house that was originally a single family house, there isn’t much soundproofing.”
“And the floors creak when people move.”
“I’ve gotten used to the sound of the guy upstairs getting up at 4 am since he starts work at 5.”
“And the sound of the girls in the apartments to either side of mine watching telenovelas till midnight, taking work calls all day and having friends over on weekend nights.”
“I know when I play music or have friends over, some of the sound leaks through the walls.”
“So I’d never get upset about hearing my neighbors because it goes both ways.”
“So… When my boyfriend started coming over more often, he had complaints about the neighbors.”
“Which put me in an awkward place, he wanted to go speak to them or have me text them and I said no.”
“For example, one of the early times he stayed over we went to bed around 10.”
“He wanted me to ask my neighbor to turn down her TV.”
“I said she didn’t have it that loud and she turns it off at midnight anyway.”
“At 4 am, he got very irritated with my upstairs neighbor getting up and cooking breakfast.”
“I said that he would be done by 5 because that’s when his shift starts.”
“At 7 am, he was still trying to sleep in and the neighbor on the other side had some work calls that he said he couldn’t sleep through.”
“I offered him earplugs and he said he couldn’t sleep with them in either, he wanted me to ask her to quiet down.”
“He had similar comments every time he heard someone else in the building just living their life especially if it was when he was in bed.”
“I got frustrated with my boyfriend and told him ‘you know, you can’t expect to date a ‘hot young’ 22 year old and not wanna deal with a 22 year olds living situation!'”
“‘I don’t know if you realize but this is a normal apartment for someone my age.'”
“‘Hell, my neighbors are pretty great; nobody’s throwing loud parties on work nights, nobody’s having screaming fights, nobody’s having babies!'”
“The ‘hot young’ part was in sarcastic air quotes because those were his words not mine.”
“He got irritated and asked why I was bringing age into it.”
“And I said it’s because he can’t both want someone so young and also want someone with house kinda money!”
“And he was being so out of touch with how normal people in their 20s live.”
“He got really irritated with me bringing age into it, and even more annoyed when I’d respond to his neighbor complaints in the future with ‘ok boomer.’
“Or tell him that if he wanted me to have a ‘rich person apartment’ he could pay for it.”
“AITA for what I said to my boyfriend about my apartment?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. Women his age don’t put up with that behavior.” ~ Blackstar1401
“If he hates it so much over there a normal guy would have offered to pick you up and take you to his own apartment.”
“If he hasn’t offered to do so that’s a red flag!”
“He’s not inviting you home and suffering all the noise at your place for a reason.”
“He did sound like a jerk.” ~ Appropriate_Menu6499
“NTA. I’m so glad OP asked this small question to figure out the iceberg underneath on Reddit.”
“This 35-year-old was just dropping red flags everywhere, IS probably married, and at least OP is getting out now.”
“I hope she doesn’t give him a chance to come up with ‘proof’ that he’s a good guy and then get sucked in and waste more time.” ~ crystallz2000
“NTA. Do you know why a 35 year old dates a 22 year old?”
“Because women his age don’t put up with his childish behavior, but a 22 year old is more likely to be easily guilt tripped.”
“Good on you for standing up for yourself.”
“Honestly, you might have a common hobby, but you’re in very different places in your life, which can make a relationship difficult if you’re not both ready to be understanding.”
“Living in an apartment comes with that burden of hearing other people.”
“I’d point out to him that they probably hear y’all being intimate, but they don’t bother you about it!”
“If you can hear that much of what’s going on in their apartment, they can hear just as much of what’s going on in yours.”
“I just want to say this wisdom doesn’t come from just being smart, it comes from once thinking I too was just “so mature” that I attracted older men.”
“But I got carded until I was 30 and based on other life decisions, I can guarantee you that I am not that mature lol live and learn!” ~ Designer-Mark-8931
“Absolutely. I’m 34 and for the love of God I would feel like a pedophile dating a 20 year old.”
“It’s not a matter of you being soooo mature (even though I’m sure you are) but that he is wildly immature at best, if not something more sinister.”
“There’s a reason women his age won’t date him, or he won’t go after someone his own age.”
“And trust me, those reasons are never good.” ~ Broutythecat
“She sounds like she’s over him already… and rightfully so!”
“Why spend time playing Sherlock?”
“Worst case scenario, she finds out she’s been the other woman and feels lousy about it. Neutral?”
“He’s living with mom and dad. Best case?”
“She spends a dull weekend in his split level.”
“She should enjoy him as long as she can stand his whining (earplugs might help her) and then leave.”
“OP sounds like a cool girl.”
“Good luck to her! NTA.” ~ Boonarom
“NTA. Tell me where you are wrong tho lol.”
“He is just mad he is being called out on his actions by his own girlfriend.”
“I’m sure if he wanted someone with a ‘rich person’s apartment’ as you say, he could have dated someone his own age.”
“Can’t date someone barely over drinking age and expect them to have a huge savings, nice apartment, and all their s**t together.” ~ CauldronFire
“NTA. I mean, you’re right.”
“If he wants to have relationships with women who have money and material comfort, then he either needs to find a young heiress (unlikely if he doesn’t make bank himself), or he should date women closer to his own age.”
“He may not have much to offer age-appropriate women, though.” ~ AccessibleBeige
“NTA, when you date an old man (35 is old compared with 22) they’re always going to have grumpy old man complaints.”
“I see nothing wrong with calling him out on his old man mannerisms.” ~ prosperosniece
OP came back to chat…
“A lot of comments are asking if we could stay at his house.”
“It’s not possible for me to get to his house on my own because I don’t have a car and the buses don’t go that far into the suburbs.”
“So that would mean him driving 30 minutes from his house in the suburbs to pick me up, then an extra 30 to drive me to his house.”
“Then an hour round trip early in the morning to get me home in time for work.”
“It’s a lot easier for him to visit me in the city.”
“A lot of people in the comments are saying Technically 35 is a millennial and not a boomer.”
“I know that.”
I am using boomer as A JOKE or a figure of speech to say ‘acting out of touch and entitled to tell other people what to do.'”
“It is a common figure of speech to say ‘ok boomer’ to someone who is acting entitled regardless of their actual age.”
“It’s more of a mindset thing.”
And then…
“I googled his property records for his house and HE CO OWNS IT WITH A WOMAN WHO SHARES HIS LAST NAME!”
“Holy S**t… I don’t know if she’s his wife or ex wife or what but I’m OUT OF HERE!”
“I’m honestly freaking out right now but I just gotta say… great big thank you to everyone who noticed red flags and made me question that.”
“I’ve blocked his number, he can have fun figuring out where I went.”
“NTA. I’m so glad OP asked this small question to figure out the iceberg underneath on Reddit.”
“This 35-year-old was just dropping red flags everywhere, IS probably married, and at least OP is getting out now.”
“I hope she doesn’t give him a chance to come up with ‘proof’ that he’s a good guy and then get sucked in and waste more time.” ~ crystallz2000
Well OP, Reddit is with you.
Sounds like you’ve made your decisions.
You do you girl.
Good luck with the rest of your 20’s.