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Mixed Teen Tells White Sister To ‘Stay In Her Own F*cking Lane’ After She Tries ‘Help’ Her With Her Hair

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A biracial teenager has two younger sisters who are both White.

The teen said that because her father apparently had fertility issues, her parents decided to have a child by seeking a sperm donor.

But after she was born, her mother somehow wound up being pregnant twice.

Lately, things have not been so harmonious among two of the siblings in the family.

After a recent shopping outing that took a dramatic turn, the teen visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:

“AITA for telling my sister to stay in her own f’king lane”

The Original Poster (OP) provided some context before explaining what led to the blowout.

She wrote:

“I (17) have 2 sisters (14 and 4). My dad was told he had some kind of fertility issue and it would be nearly impossible for him to have kids, so my parents had me through a sperm donor.”

“Then after having me they somehow ended up getting pregnant twice.”

“One thing that’s kinda important is both my parents are very white. Like my mom’s literally the second lightest shade of foundation available at our local makeup store.”

“When my parents were choosing who they wanted to be my bio dad, they thought it would be fun to have a black baby, so they got a black sperm donor.”

“I guess I look exactly like him because I look nothing like my mom or anyone in her family. I have dark skin, dark brown eyes, and thick type 3c black hair, as opposed to my parents and sisters who are very light, my mom and 14 yo sister have incredibly straight blonde hair and my dad and my baby sister have slightly wavy brown hair.”

“My 14 year old sister became addicted to tiktok over the past year or so and honestly she’s been pretty judgey since.”

“The one thing she does that pisses me off the most is make comments on my hair. She comes to me every other day with some hair mask or a list of products for me to use to ‘get my hair under control.'”

“She’s especially pushy about wanting me to use Shea Moisture products for some reason.”

“So, yesterday we went shopping with our parents and she told me that I should make this hair mask and ditch my products to use a specific line from Shea Moisture.”

“I was already having a kinda sh**ty day and I told her to leave me alone and to stay in her own f’king lane.”

“Now my parents want me to apologize because she just wanted to help.”

Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here

Many Redditors sounded off in the comments strongly objecting to the parents allegedly saying they wanted to seek a Black donor for “fun.”

“NTA but holy cow most of your family sucks except you. Your parents literally got a black donor and never thought on how to embrace their mixed race child? Wtf is that?”

“And that thoughtlessness is clearly carrying over to your sister. I’m sorry to you.” – jeff4i017

“Right. Wtf? It sounds like they wanted to be trendy by having a mixed race child but didn’t put any effort into understanding the needs of a mixed race child.” – HarlesBronson

“Literally what tf are they on “oh it might be fun to have a biracial child. Let’s do that and then try to manager her looks as if we know best.”


“NTA OP it sounds like you’ve been more than understanding and have not been treated fairly or with respect here.” – coconutville

“As a biracial woman, I agree! It’s especially disturbing to read that the parents ‘thought it would be fun to have a black baby.'”

“Shout out to OP’s parents: babies are NOT fashion accessories, they’re human beings and are entitled to be raised with love and understanding of their own unique needs.”

“Frankly, raising ALL your kids to appreciate the differences that make us the individuals that we are should be the absolute minimum requirement!”

“So no, OP, you’re NTA.” – Marzipan-Shepherdess

“NTA. Sounds like you’re living in a household that not only tolerates microaggressive behavior but expects you to apologize when you stand up for yourself against it.”

“And who tf chooses a POC to be a sperm donor because they think having a black baby will be ‘fun’? Your family is… something else dude. I’m truly sorry.” – BrainyBorgBitch


“Your sister doesn’t know anything about how to care for your hair, so she should really mind her own business.”

“My go-to for situations like this is to say ‘I apologize for how I said what I said, but not really intention behind it.'” – Wallflowerheart

“NTA—your sister knows nothing about your hair and what your hair needs. Everyone’s hair is different and what someone on tiktok says has no bearing on what may actually help you.”

“She’s trying to help, but her suggestions might not be helpful and it’s totally okay to say that.”

“Regardless, I had a terrible experience with Shea Moisture products. They made my hair super frizzy and brittle. I tried to use them after DevaCurl destroyed my hair and it only made things worse.” – UnintentionalGrandma

“NTA, the only people who should be commenting on the hair products you use are others with the same kind of hair. Your sister and parents sound like racists if you’re the one being told to apologize.” – RebeccaMCullen

“NTA I think your sister should start following some Black Creators who call out that kind of behavior so she can become informed before she tries to tell any other Black young woman what to do with her hair and ends up going viral.”

“I recommend @auntkaren0. I’m white and frankly am astonished at the things I was ignorant about (especially the whitesplaining and women who think they are free to touch the hair of POC.)” – Foralark90

Overall Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole in the situation, and they agreed the sister shouldn’t make assumptions about what would work best for the OP—even if it comes from a place of caring as purported by their parents.

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo