College classes can be a hotbed of cultural and social issues.
Everyone’s emotions seem to be running high.
And some professors still don’t always say the right thing.
So some students have to deal with navigating the correct way to correct the teacher.
Redditor trickledownx wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for walking out of my lecture because the professor mocked a topic related to my culture?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“So I’m 19 and a first-year university student.”
“Last week in my anthropology class, the professor was lecturing on different belief systems and made a joke about ancestor veneration, saying it was like having dead relatives watching you like spiritual Netflix.”
“Most of the class laughed, but I was silently stoned because I don’t think it’s funny at all.”
“I’m half Japanese, and in my family, honoring ancestors is something taken seriously.”
“We visit graves, make offerings, and participate in traditions like Obon.”
“It’s something I grew up with, and hearing it reduced to a joke made me really uncomfortable.”
“I didn’t make a scene and just quietly left after that and later on, the professor emailed me saying my behavior was disruptive and I should’ve brought concerns to office hours.”
“I responded, explaining my perspective, but now I’m wondering if I overreacted.”
“Some classmates support me. Others say I’m too sensitive.”
“I wasn’t trying to be dramatic.”
‘I just didn’t feel respected, you know.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA – your professor emailed you to get on documented record that ‘you were disruptive’ – respond directly to the professor and cc the department head, TA, Dean of the University, and if you can, bcc your external email and your parents’ emails.”
“Explain that you found his ‘joke’ to be prejudiced and dismissive, that he spoke to x number of students having no knowledge of who in his class may be of a cultural background he found appropriate to mock.”
“Say the exact joke he said, and say that in response, to not stay and listen to any more ‘jokes’ he might make at you and your culture’s expense.”
“You decided to quietly leave early rather than actually disrupt the class, and while you planned to leave it at that, you’re concerned that he felt your quietly walking out was ‘disruptive,’ and how should you handle future instances if you encounter a professor using your culture as fodder for prejudiced humor?”
“This professor KNOWS he messed up and is trying to flip it back on you, the student, before you escalate to someone who can correct him for his actions.”
“In doing so, he’s opened you up to docked points on your final grade.”
“Instead, since he’s documenting your ‘disruptiveness’ – document his prejudice, and make sure everyone who needs to see it sees it.”
“And that they are aware you now have a formal issue with a professor so that if there’s any kind of retaliatory action, there’s a pre-existing record of it.”~ redlips_rosycheeks
“100% this. Prof is trying to cover his a**.”
“There are so many ways he could have handled that better – all of them including a discussion and apology most likely – but he’s trying to turn it around on you.”
“I’d think a decent professor probably wouldn’t have made that joke in the first place, and a good one might well have been very glad to have someone from one of the cultures in question present to potentially offer some perspective on that matter.”
“This dude is neither.” ~ AdEmbarrassed9719
“Cultural relativism and micro-aggressions are some of the FIRST things nearly ALL of my culture-based classes talk about, no matter when in my schooling career the class was taken or what level it was.”
“I’m proud of the anthropology degree I am about to graduate with next week, and people like this teacher are the reason many don’t take this field seriously or still view anthropology as the race-based field it started as.”
“Modern anthropology is trying so, so hard to move away from ethnocentric thoughts and insensitive reactions; shame on this teacher, and please, follow all this right here, OP.”
“This teacher is out of line, and if this is their field, they should be ashamed of themselves. NTA.” ~ maddidarlingg
“NTA – walking out silently is in no way disruptive (and there are many reasons to do that in a lecture, your lecturer needs to grow a thicker skin if he gets upset every time a woman silently leaves a lecture).”
“Raising it during office hours (after his tantrum) was exactly what you did.”
“Also, an anthropology lecturer should know better than to mock other cultures.”
“I’d be making a complaint about this, especially after the way he dealt with your concern.” ~ pintsizedblonde2
“Right? Every single professor I’ve had has told us at the beginning of the semester that we’re all adults now and if we need to get up and leave to go to the restroom, make a call, just stretch our damn legs, just go and do so quietly.”
“She could have been leaving for any reason, but the professor knows he f**ked up. OP is NTA.” ~ lastdickontheleft
“There may be some language or cultural differences here, but I fail to see disrespect in his comment.”
“Describing a belief system that ancestors are watching their descendants by using a simile such as ‘Like watching spiritual Netflix’ isn’t disrespectful in and of itself.”
“So many people in here are so quick to be offended and demand apologies.”
“There’s nothing wrong with walking out of a lecture, though. So NTA.” ~ muddlebrainedmedic
“Honestly, this is close to how I felt.”
“He’s trying to engage with the class and making a joke.”
“Jokes belong to specific times and audiences and OP found it offensive.”
“OP probably never was the butt of coarse humor before— and it can be a little shocking if you’ve had the good fortune to not be at the receiving end.”
“Nothing OP did sounds like it should be disruptive or disrespectful.”
“Teacher should have asked for further dialogue, and corrected his behavior, or invited OP to explain his topic properly.”
“Sounds like toxic academia, wherein big egos trip up actual learning.” ~ Adlerian_Dreams
“Right?”
“I completely understood why OP might have gotten offended, but I don’t think their professor’s joke was inherently offensive.”
“He’s just explaining it in a humorous way, but it is not a value judgment on the practice itself.”
“Humor doesn’t always translate, and I feel this is more a cultural misunderstanding on OP’s part.”
“With that said, quietly walking out of a lecture isn’t a big deal, and I’m sure it happens quite frequently for various reasons.”
“NTA, and likely none to be found at all.” ~ elitegenoside
“NTA for walking out, for sure, and I agree that while OP is NTA for being offended at the joke, I do feel they’re being overly sensitive. Just My Opinion.”
“We all have traditions, hobbies, interests, and different religions. Imagine the tightrope walk to make your lesson fun and engaging whilst constantly worrying about who is going to be offended today by an innocuous remark.”
“Fair enough if this happened in Japan, but I wouldn’t expect a professor in some random country to be aware of the specific cultural traditions of every person from every country.” ~ things_U_choose_2_b
“Professor here.”
“Your instructor is completely out of line, and if you don’t get an apology from him, I suggest you forward your correspondence and your concerns about his behavior to his department chair.”
“If he is the chair, forward to the dean. NTA.” ~ MadameAllura
“I want to say NTA because of how this is written, but I also struggle to see how your professor would have thought or known to email you if all you did was quietly leave.”
“It’s really common for college students to need to step out for a number of reasons, it feels like details are missing here.” ~ Alternative-Web-2522
“NAH. The professor did nothing wrong if we are being honest.”
“The joke didn’t land with you, but it seems like it did with everyone else.”
“It’s pretty common to make comparisons like that while teaching as well.”
“You are being sensitive, but there is nothing wrong with that either.”
“You left as respectfully as possible.”
“Overall nonissue.” ~ CD_ABC10
“You’re being very sensitive honestly.”
“He didn’t say it was nonsense and anyone that believes it is dumb, he made a joke relating it to a more familiar topic… you can get up and leave and he can claim that you doing it was disruptive.”
“But to escalate such a tame joke would be wild. NAH.” ~ HoloClayton
“NAH if you’re being truthful, but the professor’s email about you being disruptive seems to hint you did more than just leave.”
“You’re allowed to be offended and leaving isn’t disruptive, but also people are allowed to mock religion.”
“The joke he made was not particularly offensive, it was lighthearted, the other posters are being absolutely ridiculous claiming he emailed you to cover his a**e because this comment would absolutely not lead to disciplinary… lol.” ~ Popular_Language_251
“NTA, but it does sound like you are too sensitive. I don’t think that the joke mocked or denigrated the practice, at least as you’ve summarized it.”
“Perhaps the tone or delivery made it seem disrespectful?”
“From your summary, it tried to relate the practice to something the rest of the class could understand.”
“Also, I don’t think religious views deserve any kind of special protection from criticism or mockery or comments.”
“Feel free to believe or practice what you want, but don’t expect others to change their behaviors or lives for you.”
“That said, your professor is definitely trying to manipulate the situation with that email that calls your behavior ‘disruptive.'”
“Leaving the class silently is not disruptive.”
“You should take a lot of the excellent advice you’ve been given on how to handle that inaccurate email.” ~ fishling
Reddit supports you, OP.
It sounds like your professor (though without malicious intent) stepped over a line.
There are ways to fix this situation.
It may be time to bring it to the higher-ups.
Good luck.