“When ya gotta go, ya gotta go!”
It is one of life’s greatest inconveniences, and just about everyone on earth wishes that wasn’t the case.
No matter how hard we try, we simply cannot control when we need to relieve ourselves.
More often than not, this might come at a time when we are not in the immediate vicinity of a toilet.
Even if we are, our ability to use said toilet is also never guaranteed.
The home of Redditor notmymain002 and her husband luckily had three bathrooms.
Seemingly making it so the original poster (OP), her husband, and their children are never in want of a toilet.
However, the OP’s husband was less than thrilled when he was told by his wife that one toilet is off-limits during a certain time of day.
Wondering if she was out of line for instilling this demand, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA For asking my husband not to poop in the main bathroom?”
The OP explained why they occasionally forbade their husband from using their main bathroom:
“We have three bathrooms in our house.”
“One is right outside the main living space, the other is in our bedroom, and then we have a half bath in the utility hall.”
“My husband almost always poops after dinner when the house is active, and without fail, he does it in the ‘main’ bathroom.”
“Not only can I sometimes hear him pooping, but it’s the only bathroom with an actual bathtub and we give the kids baths after dinner.”
“I don’t want to listen to my husband poop and then do baths in a stinky poop-smelling bathroom when there are literally two other bathrooms he can use.”
“When we moved in together into the house, we put the poop stool from his house in the utility bathroom and dubbed it the poop bathroom.”
“Now he just uses the kid’s footstool.”
“I have asked him COUNTLESS times to quit pooping in the main bathroom.”
“He thinks I am being ridiculous and that he should be able to use whatever bathroom he wants and said it’s not that big of a deal.”
“I think pooping in the bathroom in the main living area is rude, especially right before bath/bed time.”
“Like who wants to brush their teeth in a poopy smelly bathroom?”
“There’s no window to help air it out.”
‘We have an exhaust fan on a 60-minute timer, but it doesn’t work well, and YES, the smell really does linger for quite a long time.”
‘My toddler goes straight in the tub after dinner.”
“I can’t use scented options like candles or spray because my oldest son is extremely sensitive to them.”
“No, my poop does not smell like roses.”
“Yes, I go in the utility bathroom!”
‘Unless I’m home alone with my toddler.’
“He’s not allowed in the utility area.”
“AITA for continuing to bring this up and asking him to use one of the other two bathrooms?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for making her husband use the utility bathroom during bath time.
While some agreed that the OP’s husband wasn’t technically wrong and that he had the right to use any bathroom that he wanted, just about everyone agreed that he wasn’t being considerate to the OP or his kids.
His refusal to use the utility bathroom was more of a power move than anything else:
‘If he knows he’s going to sh*t after dinner every time?”
“Yeah… plan an extra 3 seconds to walk upstairs and use that bathroom.”
“It cannot be such a big emergency every time that he HAS to use the main bathroom.”
‘I have literally gone and used the other shower in my house instead of my own because I don’t want to smell my own sh*t when I take a shower after my morning poops!”
“Once should be all you have to ask. Is there any reason why he can’t be courteous to those living in the same household and not force everyone to feel clean in the same room their dad just took a smelling steamy sh*t in?”
“NTA.”
“If this is an everyday occurrence, there’s no reason he can’t hold his cheeks closed for 2 extra seconds to go to a different bathroom unless he has a bowel issue.”- Final_Consequence614
“NTA.”
“if you are doing bath time straight after, of course, he can use any bathroom he wants, but basic courtesy when you live with other people is not to poop where they will hear and smell it if there’s another option.”
“Assuming both other toilets are fully functional and clean, etc, then I don’t see why he wouldn’t just use one of these.”
“What kind of man wants to bathe his kids in a room where he just taken a sh*t if there’s another option?”
“Sounds like a weird kind of control or wanting to mark his territory to me.”- MyNewBearTotoro
“NTA.”
“My partner and I will always use the secondary bathroom for pooping if we know someone is going to be in the main bathroom, especially mornings when the whole family needs to brush their teeth and get ready and evenings when we are getting them ready for bed.”
“It’s called being considerate, and it’s a reasonable request when there are perfectly good other bathrooms he can stink up.”- scrunchie_one
“NTA.”
“And next time you have friends over, make sure the kids regale all your guests about him taking a sh*t in the bathroom they have to have a bath in afterward every single night.”
“And refusing to use the other bathroom so they don’t have to smell it while they get ready for bed.”
“Make sure all the guests hear it, and the kids are really detailed.”
“I think a few of these commenters forget what little kids are like.”
“My ex had gastric problems and used the main bathroom twice before bath time instead of the other one.”
“The kids were crying and carrying on because it smelt so bad.”
“Completely f*cked up the bedtime routine.”
“When he did it the second time, I left the house and told him to call me when they were in bed.”
“He used the other bathroom after that.”
“It’s not about control or anything like that.”
“It’s about creating a situation that causes problems and refusing to use an easy fix to make things better for everyone.”
“It’s a family, you all have responsibilities to each other.”- Huge_Primary392
“NTA.”
“Bath time is a predictable daily event.”
“At least he could be considerate and use another bathroom right before bath time… or sit in his own sh*t smell and do bath time himself.”- chittychittyb
“NTA.”
“It’s a power play, and it sounds like bath time can wait until daddy is done and daddy can do bath time since it’s no biggie to smell his stench.”- No-Locksmith-8590
“NTA.”
“And this will also cause you to get turned off to him – you might wanna add that part in?”
“The ick factor combined with the sh*tty attitude (pun intended) is not a good combo.”- Traditional-Top-3852
“NTA.”
“He is being selfish on this one.”
“He has no reason not to use the other bathrooms.”
“If it’s no big deal for him, but it is for you, then he should just use the other ones.”- filipescu_rares
“NTA.”
“This is disrespectful to you and his kids. Why should they have to bathe in sh*t smell?”
“Is he so lazy he can’t walk down the hallway, or is he just hateful?”- 4Bforever
“NTA!”
“My husband also tends to go after dinner, which is right before my toddler’s bath time starts, and he always jokes with me that he’s going to go do it in there and stink up that bathroom, but then he always just goes and uses the upstairs one… like a courteous person would.”
“It’s like your husband is being difficult on purpose by doing this to you.”- moonlightmantra
“Tell him the kids’ bath times are now his job.”
“NTA.”- FasterThanNewts
“NTA.”
“Yes, he has the right to choose where to go.”
“All you’re asking is for him to make a more considerate choice!”
“How is he not EMBARRASSED?”- vinegardust
“NTA.”
My ex-husband did this.”
“Over time, I started to see the full extent of how everything was about power.”
“I hope this is the only thing for you, but it’s still not okay.”- Rare-Educator9692
No one likes to be told they can’t do something in their own house.
However, no one also likes to spend even the smallest amount of time anywhere where there is a lingering aroma of feces.
Particularly if said area is a small, compact space with little ventilation.
Perhaps if the OP’s husband does, as many suggested, take over bath time for a short period, his own lingering aroma might finally give him the idea of what the rest of his family has had to endure.