Some people put little to no thought into what they are wearing, no matter the occasion.
Generally speaking, as long as they look decent, and their choice of clothes will keep them warm or cool enough, depending on the weather, they don’t put any further thought into color coordination, fit, or style.
For others, going out to the grocery store is just as much an excuse to dress up as going to a wedding or gala.
As a result, they spend a good deal of time going through their wardrobe, picking the right shoes to go with the right dress, or the right tie to go with the right suit, even though they’ll only be out and about for 20 minutes at most.
Redditor Fitboss68 definitely fell into the latter category, perhaps making the most effort whenever she went to pick her son up from school.
The original poster (OP)’s outfits certainly got a lot of attention, but as far as her husband was concerned, it was not the sort of attention she wanted to get.
Resulting in his offering some words of warning to the OP.
Wondering if what her husband said was true, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for ‘dressing up’ too much at my kids school.”
The OP explained why her choice of clothing was beginning to frustrate her husband:
“I (42 F[emale]) was told by my husband (51 M[ale]) that I shouldn’t dress up to go to our child’s elementary school.”
“I love fashion and do tend to dress up.”
“I don’t like wearing jeans ( I don’t like the feel and it’s hot where I live).”
“So I wear a lot of skirts (usually tea length or to the knee) and trouser type pants.”
“I love finding interesting prints and cuts.”
“I usually wear heels and only wear active wear to the gym.”
“I’ve spent a lot of hours cultivating my wardrobe.”
“I volunteer at my daughters school often, am on the PTO board,and do pick up and drop off so I’m there a lot and the teachers know me pretty well.”
“I’m also one of the older moms in elementary and my husband is the oldest dad.”
“We were at an awards ceremony.”
“I was wearing a printed jumpsuit with an asymmetrical neckline.”
“One of the teachers told me I always look like I just walked of the set of ‘Sex and the City’.”
“I took it as a compliment, since it’s an iconic show.”
“My husband said it wasn’t and she is saying I’m always over dressed.”
“He also said the other parents don’t appreciate me trying to show off since they mostly wear jeans or active wear.”
“My husband is retired and rarely dressed up.”
“Which is fine with me, especially since he had to wear a suit everyday for 30 years.”
“It’s all personal preference I think.”
“I just prefer different.”
“He use to love my style, but seems over it since he retired.”
“So should I be dressing more like other parents?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for dressing up when going to her son’s school.
Everyone agreed that fashion is a personal choice, and if dressing up is what made the OP happy, then no one should get in the way of her doing so, including her husband. And just like that, everyone agreed that the Sex and the City comment was, indeed, a compliment.
“NTA.”
“As long as you are a nice person and that the demographic of the school isn’t a poorer one.”
“I’d definitely consider the SATC comment as a compliment!”- zixy37
“Wtf.”
“NTA.”
“You aren’t dressing for your husband.”
“You are dressing up because it makes you feel good!”
“You deserve to dress up and look nice when you want to even if it’s to go to a school.”
“And it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks!!’
“If it makes you happy and makes you feel good to dress a certain way then F everyone else!”
“Your husband should keep his mouth shut.”
“Who is he to say anything about it?”
“I would dress the same as you if I had somewhere to go besides work as I always have to wear scrubs at work so I can’t dress up.”
“You do you.”
“Your husband needs to stfu.”- This-Customer-3032
“NTA.”
“You didn’t SUDDENLY start dressing up.”
“It’s a big part of who you are and what you love!”
“Hell it might even give other people the confidence to do it as well.”
“This honestly sounds like he might feel insecure next to you more so than it being an actual issue to the outside world.”
“Especially if he used to always dress in suits, he might miss it, but doesn’t know where to start (plus fashion for men at that age range is oftentimes a touchy subject).”
“I’d try and talk to him, and maybe you will even find a new thing you two can do together with figuring out the style he actually feels confident and comfotable in!”- Fairy_of_Light
“NTA.”
“If he thinks that’s ‘too much,’ then he should see some of the parents at my niece’s school.”
“Some of those moms wear head-to-toe luxury designer brand outfits.”
“My sister’s a nice dresser, but even she feels ‘dressed down’ compared to them sometimes.”-SummerMaiden87
“You aren’t overdressed, everyone else is underdressed.”
“Never ever dim your shine.”- CocoZane
“Never feel bad for leading by example.”
“NTA.”- Washingtonpinot
“NTA.”
“It’s not your business if the other parents want to be lazy about their appearance.”
“And it’s not their business that you take pride in yours.”- gamingpsych628
“What, does your husband expect you to wear a bathrobe, slippers and hair curlers to your kid’s school?”- WillWatanabe
“NTA.”
“Your husband is a hater.”- Infinite_Dinner3961
“You do you.”
“NTA.”- Interesting-Yak9639
“NTA, as long as you are dressed respectably (no butt/boobs hanging out) then screw them, just as you would be TA If you were talking crap about the others jeans/leggings, so are they to be talking crap about your clothes.”
“Everyone dresses to be comfortable, for some, it’s a suit, others shorts and a t-shirt.”
“Who cares?”
“I only get a say if the clothes are to be worn by me. Other than that, I do not care or worry about it.”
“life is too short to be worrying about crap.”
“And I’m a bloke.”- bulldzd
“I’m always impressed by women who are always dressed up and fashionable.”
“I think it’s awesome, and if I was one of the moms at your school, I’d admire you.”
“NTA.”- wisconsincollision
“NTA.”
“You just be you.”- fledermaus1
“NTA.”
“I have no dress code at work, beyond being decent and not wearing anything unsafe.”
“However, I work in an office and like to at least look nice, so I wear basic business casual attire: khakis and shirts with a collar.”
“Despite being an hourly associate, I’ve regularly gotten confused by new people who figure I must run the place because I’m better dressed than everyone else in management positions.”
“I could wear shorts and a t-shirt every day, and nobody would care, but at least I know I never have to worry about feeling underdressed, so I’m not going to stop doing what I’m doing.”
“I’m going to guess you’re not wearing something functionally inappropriate, like ballroom gowns (at least to events that aren’t dances).”
“So you do you.”
“Besides, nobody else cares anyway.”
“Busy moms who are barely holding it together raising their family and participating in school events are not the least bit concerned about your wardrobe.”
“Many of them would probably dress up too, but they’re dealing with young kids, and kids are messy, so if their clothes got messed up in the process, better it be the jeans and activewear which is easy to wash and cheaper to replace.”- Restil
“NTA.”
“Your husband sounds miserable, and I’m sure the other mom meant it as a compliment.”
“Keep dressing how you want!!”- forgetmeknotts
“Sounds like he’s giving up on life.”
“Doesn’t mean you have to.”
“But you should probably talk with him about it.”- Keenbather
“NTA.”
“At the end of the day, as long as it’s appropriate, dress how you want!”
“It’s your life, not your husband’s!”
“But you should have a conversation with him about it because he could be insecure about the way he is aging or his style in general.”- despairigus
It would be one thing if the OP were constantly showing up to her son’s school wearing leather and fishnets or tiny bikinis.
But no one should be shamed or scolded for putting a little extra effort into their personal appearance.
Likewise, it’s hard to think being compared to the iconic fashion of Sex and the City could be taken as anything other than the highest compliment.