Birthday gifts are meant to bring a smile to a person’s face.
They’re a fun way of showing someone you care.
They’re not intended to cause family strife and life turmoil.
But that’s why they say to keep the receipts.
Case in point…
Redditor DishProfessional432 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for calling the Police on my husband after I found that he was hiding my son’s motorcycle?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I got my son a 7k motorcycle for his 18th birthday this past June.”
“My son is obsessed with automobiles and loves motorcycles.”
“In his room, he has plenty of models and posters of motorcycles of all types.”
“His bio dad passed away when he was just 12, now I’m married to my current husband and he has kids of his own.”
“My husband has always been against my son’s interest in motorcycles.”
“He thinks I’m encouraging him to be reckless, distracting him from school and by extension his future.”
“And spoiling him and blowing away money by spending 7k on a motorcycle.”
“This caused some tension between him and my son, so I told him to stop complaining about it.”
“Around 2 weeks ago, my son’s motorcycle went missing.”
“We opened a police report but nothing came out of it.”
“It just disappeared.”
“My husband had a smirk on his face the entire time just walking around saying ‘I told you so, you just wasted your money!'”
“This was unbearable to hear to be quite honest.”
“My mother-in-law visited a few days ago.”
“She was talking about the other house my husband owns and mentioned seeing a motorcycle.”
“One that’s similar to the one that we lost in my husband’s garage while she was cleaning it.”
“She goes to clean that house weekly even though it’s empty, my husband plans on giving it to his kids as an inheritance.”
“I was puzzled so I asked if she was certain, but she showed me a photo she took of it which confirmed that it was indeed my son’s motorcycle.”
“I immediately rushed to call my husband and confront him about it.”
“He admitted that he took and hid the motorcycle in his garage as a last resort after me and his stepson kept brushing him off.”
“And brushing his thoughts off about the 7k being spent on something unnecessary and that could cause issues.”
“I blew up at him demanding he return it, he refused and told me he had been considering selling it and giving the money back to me so ‘I could use it wisely this time.'”
“I told him I was serious and that I’d call the police.”
“He literally said ‘this is a family matter and cops can’t do sh*t about it.'”
“I had enough.”
“I called the cops as soon as I ended the call with him.”
“The motorcycle was found and returned, but my husband had to be taken in since there was an open file about the motorcycle going missing.”
“He was let go eventually, but he was livid with me.”
“He came home yelling about how awful what I did was and how crazy my behavior was.”
“I refused to even engage in the argument.”
“But he told his entire family about it and they judged me for calling the police on my own husband even though I already asked him to return it.”
“He said he was just looking out for my son and that one day we’ll realize that he was right but only when it’s too late.”
“My son isn’t speaking to me or my husband.”
“I feel horrible about the whole situation and am starting to think I handled this the wrong way.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. The debate about whether a motorcycle is a good gift for an 18-year-old is irrelevant.”
“Completely. Red herring. Ignore any responses based on this.”
“Your husband stole an item and hid it.”
“Then allowed you to go to the police about it, smugly knowing they wouldn’t turn up anything and lied to you either overtly or by omission about it.”
“When confronted, he doubled down. No remorse, no contrition.”
“You were right to call him out.”
“You were right to involve the police when he threatened to sell it against your wishes.”
“And my recommendation would be to begin divorce proceedings because this man does not have any respect for you whatsoever.”
“He’s already proven he will commit crimes and file false police reports in order to get his way.” ~ Malkom1366
“This. OP, this is a ‘your son or your husband’ situation.”
“Please choose your child.”
“I also think it’s highly telling his family thinks someone shouldn’t go to the police if it’s something their husband did.”
“It’s an abuse apology and one step away from saying you shouldn’t press charges if he hits you.”
“Be careful with him.”
“He’s been proven to want to cause you and your son harm for the sake of ‘knowing better’ than you.” ~ Proper_Garlic3171
“I’m not sure if I’d even call it a choice between the husband and the son.”
“OP, it’s a choice between being able to make your own decisions and becoming a servant to the pompous creature you’re married to.”
“Get out!” ~ jaded-introvert
“Everything about this to me is less about the stealing and more about the abuse.”
“It is about choosing the child over the adult.”
“Children should not be around these types of individuals.”
“I’ve had to make this decision in my past.”
“Considering the potential damage that that person could’ve done to my son.”
“I knew I had to move out as soon as I could and get a divorce.”
“This type of abuse leads to lethal outcomes.”
“See the red flags and get your family out of there!!!”
“The son is already experiencing emotional damage from this experience.”
“I wonder what else has been going on. It’s been going on for a lot longer than this incident.” ~ superghosto
“If I was OP everything he owns would be in that no-longer-empty house and his lying deceitful abusive a** would be living there while I got the divorce papers drawn up.”
“OP: NTA.” ~ AdEmbarrassed9719
“My mom was married to a walking rotten tomato when I was a kid and a teen.”
“He would among many other things, took the cell phone I paid for when I was in high school and purposely broke it because ‘this is my house and I don’t like your attitude.”
“My mom just stood by and defended him like she always did.”
“He comes off as a holier than thou, ‘I’m right and you’re wrong’ type that my ex-stepfather was.”
“He has probably been an AH to his stepson for years.”
“He committed a crime.”
“He lied about it, let everyone believe and worry that it was stolen, admits he was going to commit a second crime had his mother not alerted OP that he had the motorcycle.”
“And then has the audacity to act like he’s the victim/wronged party here because he just can’t stand not being right about and/or controlling everything and everybody.”
“He’s mad because he got caught and thinks his being right and his perceived right to control his stepson’s hobbies because he’s the one that’s ‘right’ justify theft, manipulation, and lying.
“I don’t blame OP’s son for being done with both of them.” ~ RedRose_812
“It’s like others have said, this is likely just the latest in a string of bulls**t OP’s husband has put him through since they’ve been married.”
“He’s probably rightfully pissed that his mother married someone who demeans his hobbies and went so far as to commit a crime against him to assert his dominance and control and perceived righteousness.”
“He’s an adult now and he doesn’t have to put up with it anymore, so he’s not.”
“I had to go low contact with my mom for a while after leaving her house after I went to college, for my own mental health.”
“I purposely went to college several hours away just to get the hell out.”
“She just wouldn’t stop defending her now ex-husband and insisted on staying married to him.”
“But I couldn’t deal with it anymore and since I was a legal adult and not under his roof anymore, I didn’t have to.” ~ RedRose_812
“NTA. Once you gave the motorcycle to your son, it became your son’s property and NOT the property of your husband’s to take.”
“Additionally, taking it and hiding it like that and not copping to it after you filed the police report is really shi**y.”
“He literally stole the motorcycle.”
“I would seriously rethink staying married to him.”
“Who the hell does he think he is to ‘teach a lesson’ in that way??”
“Oh and yeah. You did the right thing calling the police on him.”
“Maybe next time he will rethink doing something so stupid.” ~ MissSuzieSunshine
Well OP, Reddit sounds worried for you and your son.
Theft, fake or not, is never acceptable.
At the very least, it sounds like some family therapy is in order.
Good luck and be careful.