A 27-year-old woman was left questioning who was in the wrong after an argument with her sister about her bizarre behavior.
The Original Poster (OP), Alarmed-Wolverine, turned to the strangers on the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for their judgment of the whole situation.
“AITA? I found out my sister is pretending to be my daughter’s mother”
She started off her post with some basic family background.
“When my (27F[emale]) fiancé and I first announced my pregnancy to my family, my sister (34F[emale]) was a little jealous, I’m assuming it’s because she was trying for a baby with her ex partner but they broke up because he was a cheat.”
“I gave birth to my daughter seven months ago. Her name is Kaia. When I returned to work after 12 weeks of maternity leave, my sister offered to babysit Kaia once a week which has been incredibly helpful.”
All was apparently not as it appeared, though.
“Not too long ago, one of my close friends who also recently had a child approached me to tell me that my sister is in a mothers group on Facebook and she’s posting photos of Kaia and she’s calling my daughter HERS and she’s also calling her by a different name.”
“My friend sent me screenshots of my sister’s posts and I was completely disturbed so I spoke to my fiancé and we both decided we had to take action immediately.”
Things went south when she confronted her sister.
“I went over to my sister’s and asked her directly about what she was posting on Facebook, she did not deny it and also had no explanation. Therefore I told her that she’s banned from seeing my daughter.”
“My sister flipped out and said that I can’t take Kaia away from her and then called me a ‘selfish b!tch’ and she started crying. I have NEVER seen my sister act this was before, it was alarming.”
“I ask her if there’s anything else I need to know because she may as well just spill everything, so she shows me a framed photo she has in her bedroom of her and my daughter and on the frame is written ‘mother and daughter.'”
Then came a moment OP isn’t proud of.
“I’m not going to lie, I did call her crazy and then I left and haven’t spoken to her since, although she continues to try and come over and calls me multiple times a day.”
OP ended her post with one final plea for moral judgement.
“My mind is an absolute mess. I don’t know where we go from here.”
“AITA for how I handled the situation?”
Redditors vote on posts in this subReddit with one of several acronyms to assign blame—along with their thoughts on the situation.
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The consensus was that OP was not the one at fault.
“NTA. Absolutely. Get your kid and yourself away from her. Sounds like she has some deep, unresolved issues that only a specialist can help her with.” ~latvian-chemist
“NTA at all. You need to protect your daughter. Your sister needs some serious help. What she is doing is not healthy at all. You could try telling her that she can see your daughter only after she gets into therapy.” ~aNonyMass
Many Redditors encouraged her to help her sister seek mental health treatment, as they were concerned by her behavior toward her neice.
“NTA. I’ve struggled with fertility issues, and never once would this ever cross my mind. I’d honestly suggest some grief counseling for your sister—losing the relationship and immediate hope of having kids has clearly taken a toll.” ~gillygillyj
“NTA but it sounds like your sister has some serious psychological issues and needs professional help asap.”
“It will probably be safer for everyone to keep your daughter away from her and you may want to install a home security system as well as inform any other care givers that your sister does not have privileges regarding being around her.”
“This type of thing is a HUGE red flag for mental health issues. If you can, you may want to encourage her to get help.” ~LRose1825
“NTA – agreed with the above poster, OP’s sister is screaming for mental health help here. The framed picture, the name change, it’s all way too much to say ‘it’s just a phase’.”
“You’re absolutely right for avoiding any interaction between your child and your sister OP. Strongly recommend having a discussion to get her help especially since you mentioned she’s never behaved like this before.” ~BrownSugarBare
“yeah NTA …. there’s a lot to unpack here. Your reaction is understandable and I’m fully with you with not letting her see your child. This sounds like the beginning to a lifetime movie.”
“She crossed many lines. I don’t know if bringing family into this would make it worse but your sister needs an intervention. That behavior is not okay….” ~a2020wils
Some also suggested a restraining order might be a good idea.
“NTA Protect your child.”
“Your sister is creepy and delusional. She needs therapy. It would have only been a matter of time before she decided she is the real mother and tried to steal your baby.”
“Left to her own devices, she would intrude upon your relationship with your daughter, and undermine it.”
“Actually naming your child some other name!? Wow. That is scary.”
“I would consider a restraining order on her. That is not normal. It isn’t loving or kind either, no matter what she claims. It’s obsessive and delusional.”
“See if you, or someone who knows her, can get screen shots of her […] posts, as evidence.”
“You might need therapy too, to process this trauma. What a terrifying experience! Yikes!”
“Also, be prepared to have your family try to demonize you for protecting your child. Do not back down. A therapist will help you do that.”
“**edited to add. She is showing up at your house multiple times a day to stalk your baby. Get a restraining order, yesterday.”
“Get security cameras too, and make sure you cut off all 3rd party contact between your sister and your baby. Make sure the other caregivers know to call the police immediately if she shows up.” ~Ragingredblue
Several people pointed out OP should let any other relatives or childcare centers know not to let her daughter go with her sister.
“NTA. If you are using a daycare, they need to know to not let your sister take your daughter.” ~cassowary32
“NTA but your sister needs medical help, also you need to alert your parents and other family members who babysit your daughter.”
“You also need to watch out your family if they don’t think it is such a big issue coz they may try to get your sister meet your daughter coz she is just a very loving aunt. It may not happen but be cautious.” ~mistydoc
This is an incredibly complicated situation. Hopefully OP will figure out how to handle it safely for herself and her child.