No two parents raise their children alike.
Many parents have very different views on what their children can and cannot do when it comes to food, TV shows and discipline.
Even the best of friends might find themselves surprised, even put off, by each other’s parenting choices.
Redditor Nearby-Ad9052 raised her children very differently from a good friend and neighbor.
But after breaking one of her friend’s cardinal rules while watching her children one day, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) asking fellow Redditors:
“AITA for feeding my friend’s kids meat?”
The OP first let fellow Redditors know how her parenting style differs from her friend and neighbor’s.
“So my friend is vegetarian for moral reasons and raised her kids vegetarian.”
“She is a very strict parent.”
“The children are 13 and 14 and can’t even watch Harry Potter.”
The OP then revealed a shared experience with her friend’s children which began harmoniously, but eventually went sour.
“We live next door to each other and our parenting styles are pretty much opposites but we are still friends and we look after each others children.”
“They call me auntie and vice versa.”
“The other day I was making vegetable soup for my kids.”
“I always sweat the vegetables with bacon and end it with cream and bacon bits.”
“The kids love it and it is easy to make.”
“So we eat it quite often.”
“The kids from next door came over at about the time I was serving dinner and asked if they could have some.”
“I did think about it for a minute but decided it’s 99% vegetables so why not? “
“They loved it.”
“A few days pass and I forget all about it and my neighbour asked me for the soup recipe her kids had because they won’t stop asking for it.”
“Without thinking I give it to her and she reads that there is bacon in it and she flips out.”
“She bans me from ever seeing her kids again and has gone to polite greetings when she sees me but nothing more.”
The OP later clarified the children were well aware the soup contained meat.
“People keep assuming the kids had no idea there was meat.”
“They knew! “
“I told them there was bacon in it and the children still wanted the soup.”
“My second to think was me thinking if I should say no without asking them.”
She also made it clear however different their parenting styles are, she has no judgment when it comes to her friend’s choices on how to raise her kids.
“I don’t know why people keep saying I don’t agree with my friend or how she parents.”
“I think she is an amazing mum we are just different people with different ways of thinking and because of that we see things differently and sometimes we don’t understand each other.”
“I am not against being vegetarian and my kids go to hers often to eat vegetarian meals.”
“I just didn’t see it as a big deal at the time because that is how I am and how I parent.”
“She saw it as a big deal and that’s perfectly OK she is justified to do so.”
“We clashed over this and both of us didn’t understand the others way of seeing the issue and it caused a problem.”
“I’m not trying to convert her kids to eating meat.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they felt the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Redditors were fairly divided on whether or not the OP was at fault in knowingly serving her friend’s children meat.
Several believed the neighbor’s children were at an age where they could make decisions for themselves and weren’t beholden to their mother’s rules when visiting a friend’s house.
“You told the kids there was bacon in the soup.”
“They still wanted to try it and being 13 and 14 means they’re old enough to make that decision for themselves.”- Willing-Rip-8761.
“At their age, she needs to back off.”
“They are not little kids anymore.”- MiskiMoon
“NTA, you gave the kids the choice and that’s it.”
“What makes it even more clear for me: The kids even demanded that their parents cook it for them.”
“Even after being raised otherwise.”
“They choose to confront their parents about this.”
“But this is an European view, Americans might disagree due to a stricter enforcement of their beliefs.”- mad-n-sane.
“NTA because you said they knew there was meat.”
“If kids can decide at 13/14 to be vegetarian, then they can also decide at 13/14 to not be vegetarian.”- PlanktonOk4846
Others, however, believed the OP should have been mindful of her friend’s strict rules when it came to her children’s diet and shouldn’t have served them the soup.
“ESH… but you suck a lot less than your friend.”
“Your ‘friend’ sucks for forcing 13/14 year old kids to still be vegetarian when clearly they are interested in trying other foods.”
“They are at an age where they’ll just secretly break these sort of rules anyways.”
“Your friend also sucks for a huge overreaction.”
“The kids know the rules, the kids knew there was bacon in it, the kids wanted it anyways.”
“You’re close with the kids and obviously it sucks to tell them no.”
“It put you in a hard position when they asked for it even after knowing there was bacon.”
“However YTA a little here too because you consider your neighbor a friend and you knew about her beliefs and chose to go against that without speaking to your friend first.”- HayzBoops.
“If they wanted to have something with meat, let them go purchase it themselves.”
“I never understand why some parents going against other parents wishes….”- Jam_reader84
“I know someone who did almost the exact same thing.”
“But because the children never had meat they got extremely sick.”
“You should have covered it with their mother for the simple fact that kids that age are not aware of potential consequences and apparently neither did you.”- Kaskadio
Maybe it wasn’t in the best interest of the OP to serve the children meat without checking with her friend first.
But then, this friend should be prepared that her kids may choose to stop being vegetarians as they get older, when she’s no longer able to control what they can and cannot eat.
Only time will tell how badly their friendship was damaged by the OP’s apparently delicious soup.