Traveling on a plane with a child comes with many challenges and can be very stressful for the parent and fellow passengers.
Fortunately, a woman traveling with her infant child was presented with an opportunity to make herself feel more comfortable.
However, when the option led to drama, she sought judgment on the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Aggravating-Worth643 asked:
"AITA for refusing to go back to my originaly assigned seat on the plane?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"I (31 F[female]) was traveling today with my 19 months old son on a plane on a 3 hour flight. My son, being under two, has to sit on my lap."
"I also had a big backpack with all the necessities that I keep on the floor and easily accessible. It can get crowded fast, but it's just how it is when you travel alone with a young child."
"I got assigned a random seat (12C) at check in, and ended up being in a row with no other empty seat. Although I appreciate it when there is an empty seat next to me as it greatly improves our flight experience, It's not an expectation I have and I never ask for it at check up."
"Once the boarding was completed but before takeoff, a flight attendant came to me and offered to move us three rows up (9C) because there were two seats available and that they usually try to accommodate people with young infants."
"I was delighted and accepted right away. The flight attendant helped me move my things and explained the situation to the other passenger on row 9."
What happened next indicated the flight wasn't necessarily going to be a smooth one.
"The passenger did not appreciated it at all, she started complaining to the flight attendant that she was planning to sleep on the flight, and that it would be impossible now. She specifically chose this seat while checking online because the row was empty, and it's gonna be a nightmare now."
"The flight attendant simply explained that both my seats (old and new) are Standard, that the women only paid for her own seat and that their policy is trying to accommodate young parents if possible."
The OP continued:
"The woman then told me that I should be ashamed to impose all this noise on people who are just trying to enjoy their flight. Especially since it wasn't even my seat, and I didn't even pay for it."
"Honestly, I'm really not good with confrontation; I usually end up either crying or apologizing, so I just ignored her all the way, as if she didn't speak at all. That got her even more angry, but she finally stopped complaining after a while."
"My son ended up crying only once, I got some stinky eye and some other rude comments but all in all, the flight was way more comfortable for us this way, so I don't really regret switching seats."
"But I do wonder if I'm the AH; it's true that I didn't pay for that seat and that it wasn't my originally assigned seat."
"AITA here?"
The OP shared updates "to address some recurring themes."
"The bag can fit under the seat; it was there during take-off and landing. It was on the floor the rest of the time for easy access. I was allowed to do that the same way other passengers are allowed put our their laptops."
"My son was on my lap the whole flight (as per the Flight Attendant's demand); the extra seat was just extra space to feel less crowded and not bump elbows."
"I'm overweight yes, but not extremely so."
"I'm from Europe. My son HAS to be in my lap. The flight attendant insisted on it when she offered me to switch seats. We aren't allowed to bring car seats with us; they go with luggage."
"I can't afford to buy an extra seat just to have more space, as my son isn't allowed to sit there yet."
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH - No A**holes Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) here.
"NTA, you paid for a seat, the airline accommodated you and explained to the other passenger. The other passenger paid for her seat only, not the entire row."
"Sounds like other passenger was an unpleasant person, which isn't your fault. If another mother with a young child did pay for the seats near her, I'd almost guarantee she would have complained still." – Unfair_Rain
"Also, if the other passenger really didn't want to be near a baby, she could've asked to go to OP's original seat. Parents travel too, and no one can expect a child free ride on public transport." – thecarpetbug
"The part that got me was the other passenger saying how people are just trying to enjoy their flight. Who in the world gets on a commercial airline to enjoy the flight…."
"We do it because we have to get somewhere. If you wanna 'enjoy' your flight, then buy a 1st class ticket or a private jet. Insane." – SlipperCactuses
"I agree with you. If the person wanted to enjoy the flight she should have booked a first class ticket, insted of b*tching about having a baby on her side (when it turns out that the baby only cried once)." – Same_Average_1156
"Absolutely. If she had paid for all three seats it would be different, but she had no right to those seats. I can understand her choosing that particular seat because at the time of booking that row was empty, but there was no guarantee those seats would remain free."
"What a sourpuss." – BaitedBreaths
"I think my favorite part is how she continually shames OP for taking the seat for free when A) she planned on taking BOTH seats for free and B) she intended to use them all for herself and not a toddler that would have otherwise been on a lap where C) had the toddler BEEN on Mom's lap they most likely would have cried MORE OFTEN, and no way would row 9 not be hearing a baby in row 12."
"Soooo honestly this woman was unlikely to sleep at all either way 🙄" – ScrevyRevington
'That she specifically chose this seat while checking online because the row was empty'
"Unless she paid for the entire row (is that even allowed?), she had no reason to believe that it would remain empty after she bought her ticket."
"I also choose seats in otherwise empty rows when buying train tickets, and although it usually works out in my favour and i get the whole row to myself (because i purposely go for the unpopular train that rarely gets booked at more than like 50% of its capacity)."
"If one day I ended up having to share that row with a stranger, I definitely wouldn't complain out loud because, well, it was never a guarantee that I wouldn't have to sit next to someone. That's why it's called public transportation."
"NTA." – Visible-Steak-7492
"NTA - the other woman was never guaranteed those 2 seats would stay empty; they were just empty at the time of her booking." – aspare112
"Ex-flight attendant here - NTA."
"You were asked if you would like to move by THE CREW so it's perfectly fine."
"The other woman was b*tching because she thought she was going to get three seats and could lie down on all of them. Ironically, she was complaining about not getting two seats she didn't pay for. She's the AH." – SteelBandicoot
"NTA – I would have had the exact same inner monologue as that woman tbh, but you don't get to say it out loud. I get her disappointment but that's just the joy of economy air travel." – LavenderLightning24
"NTA. You didn't ask for the seat. It was offered to you. And as the flight attendant said, the other passenger only paid for one seat." – Dismal-Perception-56
"NTA and I hope this person has a whole run of absolutely horrible flights in the future. If you want three seats, you should pay for three seats. There are no guarantees of comfort on a flight unless you are wealthy and it is the flights call to move around seats or make things as pleasant for everyone as possible." – 66picklz666
"NTA. You did nothing wrong, the stewardess offered you the seat, it is not like you demanded it or acted like you were entitled to it. The other woman, on the other hand, acted like an entitled lout."
"If she wanted to take up the whole row of seats, then she should have purchased three tickets for herself. So I am glad she was all bitter and angry the whole flight. She can kiss MY a$$ 🤣" – ExtremeJujoo
Overall, Redditors found that the OP did nothing wrong by accepting the unsolicited advantage that would make her life easier during the flight.
They also argued that the fellow passenger was unreasonably upset, especially since she booked her flight without the expectation that she would have a row to herself anyway.















New Mom Irate After Father-In-Law Ruins Her Birthday With 'Vulgar' Comment About Her Breasts
There's nothing quite like the feeling of going through all the work to prepare a fun celebration, just for someone to undo it with an unkind or gross comment.
That feeling just gets worse when it's your birthday, and that comment was made by someone who's supposed to care about you, sympathized the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Rude-Pepper-2389 had recently given birth and decided to have a special birthday celebration to reconnect with her loved ones after becoming a mom.
When her father-in-law stopped by unexpectedly and then made comments about her body, the Original Poster (OP) was left so uncomfortable that it ruined the whole celebration for her.
She asked the sub:
The OP wanted to have a special birthday celebration after her baby was born.
"I currently have a five-month-old and haven’t really been taking care of myself or dressing up since having the baby."
"It’s my (25 Female) birthday, and we were having friends over at our house for a private dinner to celebrate."
"My husband (24 Male) and I have been together since we were 18."
"I decided to put on this new silk shirt I got, which, admittedly, was low-cut, but I felt cute in it and felt comfortable around the friends we were having over."
Everything was fine until the OP's father-in-law (FIL) stopped by unexpectedly.
"My husband's dad decided to stop by on his way home from work."
"I will say, he was likely drunk. He works two hours away and proudly told my husband he's down to only four beers on his drive home each day... so, that's healthy."
"When he came in, I was on the couch with my baby propped up beside me, bottle feeding him. Keep in mind, I am not breastfeeding, so no, my breasts are not any larger right now."
"My husband's dad leaned down to look at the baby and then suddenly shouted, 'D**n, son, she could knock you out with those things in bed! Like cracking two coconuts together.'"
"This was fully and undoubtedly in reference to my breasts."
The OP was shocked by the comment and very uncomfortable.
"It made me deeply uncomfortable and embarrassed."
"I was so stunned, I couldn’t even process what he said to me, and our friends just stared at me, blinking."
"He’s a redneck, so he's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years, but this just seems to take the cake, as it was the first time it was directed at me."
"When he stepped out, I told my husband he needed to speak to him, and that the comment wasn’t okay."
"I went to change clothes and decided to never ever wear that shirt again."
"When I brought it up to my husband, he said he didn't hear the comment at first, but then he laughed when I told him what he said. He's always laughed when he feels awkward and has always had a hard time standing up to his parents in any capacity."
"When he and my father-in-law spoke, my FIL just said, 'I shouldn’t have said that to her, I know how she can be,' which just feels even more like I’m just being dramatic."
"Since then, I think my husband just wants me to drop it and move on, truthfully."
The OP wasn't sure what to do after what happened.
"This genuinely ruined my entire night. Am I just too sensitive, or was this an inappropriate thing to say?"
"There's also been no apology since then. This happened on Thursday, and then my father-in-law came by again on Friday with flowers to wish me a happy Mother's Day before Mother's Day Sunday."
"I think that was his way of trying to just breeze past the awkwardness. He's never gotten me a gift the whole seven years I've known him, so the flowers were odd. But I still feel really uncomfortable."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that her father-in-law's comments were rude and just plain creepy.
"NOR at all. That was really rude of him. Anyone would be offended." - Bookbringer
"NOR. That’s firmly in the category of what should be an 'inside thought,' and we should learn what those are at a much younger age than this guy is."
"F**king h**l, this is an absolutely mental thing to say out loud, let alone to your daughter-in-law." - Electronic-Fennel828
"FIL is an AH. I love that you think his being a redneck excuses it, but d**n. Even rednecks should know better than to speak that way to their son's wife."
"What does your husband have to say? Does he understand how breath-takingly rude his father was, or is he Team 'That's Just How He Is'?"
"I'd go very low contact with the old perv. NOR, he put you in an uncomfortable position with his crude remark. Is he married? I'd tell the MIL. I'd tell the whole family. Yes, it's embarrassing, but he is the one who should be embarrassed. Don't accept his non-apology." - Top-Bit85
"Maybe I’m desensitized after having large breasts since I was 13 (I’m 28 now), but I let out a little snort based on how immature of a joke it was. I’d simply tell FIL, 'Yes, I know, my boobs are big,' and move on."
"That said, I would never make such a comment about another person's body. Just because I'm technically fine with it doesn't mean I assume anyone else is!"
"Not everyone is the same, and if OP felt uncomfortable, she’s NOR. Her body, her boundaries." - Both_Original2094
"I’m sorry. That’s upsetting. My father is like this with his father. Even if it’s very offensive comments, he’s uncomfortable and has problems confronting him. It sounds like your husband isn’t going to have a talk with him, which is hurtful."
"I would explain to your husband how uncomfortable the situation was for you and that it’s a serious matter, especially if it happens again. And if he still tries to brush it off, then I would tell him you no longer want your FIL coming to your home."
"It’s your life, too, and he’s not the one being hurt here, you are." - w_coastultraviolence
Others were specifically angry about the tactics the father-in-law used to try to get out of trouble.
"Seriously? Saying 'I know how she can be' is a classic way to blame the victim for having boundaries. It’s your birthday, not a Hooters convention. What a creep. If he can’t look at the baby without checking out your breast, he shouldn't be invited to the house." - Specific_Parsnip3264
"'I know how she can be' is so f**ked up. He's the one being a disgusting person. You need to shine up your husband's spine to properly call him out at the time next time, because there will be a next time." - dancepantz
"The bit that pisses me off the most is, 'I know how she can be,' which is his way of making it her problem that she doesn't like her FiL sexualising her in front of her friends." - Outside-Partait-8935
"The 'joke' comment is gross, but that follow-up comment is infuriating. NOR, OP. But this guy will be in your life for a while, so firmly & calmly shutting this stuff down is completely appropriate."
"I'd wear the d**n shirt again to the next family function and look him right in the eyes next time!" - RationalFish
"When we let things like this slide for others, it's not long before it ends up on our doorstep, and of course, nobody says anything because keeping the peace is the norm. It doesn't have to be getting into their face and yelling abuse back. Just a comment such as, 'Well, that's super tacky to say,' or asking them why they'd say that." - Kattnapped
"The OP said, 'He's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years... but this is the first time it was directed to me.'"
"Normalise calling stuff out when they are talking about others, and they won't feel so comfortable saying it to you."
"It's a gross thing for him to say, but I guess him buying you flowers is his way of saying sorry."
"Sounds like you are in the situation of a lot of new mothers, where you suddenly realise this stuff matters because you want better influences for your child, and better support for yourself. NOR." - Jumpy-Jello-
Now, about that shirt...
"Please re-think your decision to never wear the cute shirt again, girl!! It's something that you liked very much because it made you feel good about yourself. Don't let some backwoods id**t ruin that for you."
"Wear that shirt till it's worn out and can't be worn anymore!! You should be able to feel good about yourself in whatever you like to wear."
"Your husband should have immediately checked his father, not waited until he was told to do so after his father left the room. In front of everyone there, your husband should have told his father not to ever speak about you or to you in that kind of manner, and if his father doesn't like it, he knows where the door is."
"Hubby should have called him out for his response as well. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were not the problem; his dad was. This comes down to your husband needing to protect his wife, and he didn't do that." - Lynzo141982
"If he is a redneck, like you said, he won't outright apologize, but flowers are his way of saying sorry."
"I hope he won't say anything again, or else you can expect a nicely tended garden for at least a year."
"About your top, I hope you can wear it again. It takes a lot to feel cute, being a new mum."
"If not, get some fabric dye, dye the top a different color, and embroider a flower on it. This makes the top new, different, and every time you wear it, you can use the mantra ... I'm cute, I don't care what anyone says."
"You've got this!!" - No_Kangaroo_6637
Even if the father-in-law was joking and meant no harm, this is one of those situations where he needs to admit that his joke did not land well, he did cause harm, and he needs to apologize. Just because some people enjoy joking in that manner does not mean that everyone will be comfortable with it, and it's important to respect everyone's boundaries and zones of comfort.