Not everyone knows how to be “neighborly.”
Keeping the peace can become a difficult process when specific issues arise.
Not every neighbor plays nice.
This type of behavior can breed a very stressful living environment.
Redditor carplast wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for trying to get my neighbors to not block my front door?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (32 F[emale]) live in NYC.”
“I recently moved into a small building, three stories, 6 apartments in total.”
“My apartment is a ground-floor unit.”
“Since moving in, a neighbor (40 F and 40 M[ale]) has been storing their large stroller in front of my front door, which poses problems every time I have to come and go from my apartment.”
“It is also against the fire code and explicitly forbidden in the building’s leases.”
“The stroller is there every day unless their kid (3 M) decides he doesn’t want to walk.”
“One day, when I heard them leaving it there, I introduced myself and politely said them leaving their stroller there was causing me issues, and it is against the city’s fire code, and asked them to no longer keep their stroller in front of my front door.”
“The 40 F neighbor gave me excuses that they live on the third floor, but the 40 M neighbor straight up raised his voice at me while I was holding my infant daughter.”
“The woman said as a compromise she’d fold the stroller when leaving it in front of my door.”
“As time went on, the stroller was never folded up and continued to block my door.”
“As it is against the fire code and explicitly forbidden in the lease, I decided to reach out to property management for help resolving this issue.”
“I just want to be able to safely come and go from my apartment.”
“The day the property management enforced this on these neighbors, the 40 F neighbor rang my doorbell and proceeded to refuse to speak to me and called her mother.”
“Her mother then berated me on speakerphone and said I should have spoken to them first, ignoring me when I said I did.”
“She then kind of threatened me, saying I ‘complained about the wrong people.'”
“I was stunned and couldn’t believe this was happening.”
“All I could muster was insisting it is against the fire code, and no one gets to break the fire code.”
“I am baffled by this behavior.”
“I found it a bizarre confrontation, and I didn’t know adults could act this way.”
“I’ve never had issues with neighbors before.”
“I have a child younger than theirs and empathize with their situation, but their kid is massive and able to walk.”
“They could just have an umbrella stroller, like I do.”
“I just wanted access to my front door.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA – Why didn’t you just close your door on these AHs?”
“Just report them again for harassment to property management.”
“Start videoing any interaction with them.” ~ UnfortunateDaring
“NTA. Anytime they leave the stroller in front of your door, move it in front of the main entrance.”
“Let the stroller become the issue of everyone in the building and this may elevate the issue into a proper and prompt resolution.” ~ LoubyAnnoyed
“NTA, you need to report the interaction to property management since they basically retaliated against you for their own violation.”
“Just report as needed, but do not answer the door for them again if possible, and tell them to take it up with either the city or the property management.”
“I’d also look up the tenant laws for where you are and see what rights you have independent of what’s written into the lease.” ~ Sqweee173
“NTA, The getting mom on the phone tells you all you need to know about the maturity of a 40-year-old person.” ~ waiting_for_letdown
“NTA. But I would consider telling the property manager you’ve been threatened.”
“Of cousin that could escalate and make things worse.”
“But you are being bullied.”
“I’d try to get out of the lease and move.” ~ EwwDavvidd
“NTA. Your neighbors are really entitled.”
“No normal person would want to leave their property outside a stranger’s door for days on end.”
“Consider reporting them again to building management for the confrontation… this kind of behavior was completely uncalled for.” ~ FauxeticVRC
“I’d stop quoting fire code, to be honest.”
“Even if it wasn’t against the code, blocking your door daily is just rude.”
“I would tell them that as you’ve asked them to stop and they haven’t, the next time it’s in front of your door, you’re putting it outside.”
“And then do it.” ~ Fresh_Caramel8148
“NTA. I thought maybe they lived next door and didn’t have space inside.”
“No, they live upstairs and don’t take it up.”
“I’d have put it on the street, it wouldn’t be there long.” ~ DastardlyCreepy
“NTA. I agree.”
“The petty part of me would shove the stroller out the door, hoping it would disappear.”
“If they knocked on the door again, I’d just ignore them and start recording if they escalated.”
“Landlords don’t like trouble, so neighbors are likely to get evicted if you report them again, though there’s a risk that you could get evicted.”
“Try to document things to protect yourself.” ~ alicat0818
“Tell them that they’ll be liable for the cost of treating your injuries and health care if you leave the house and trip over it.”
“Take a picture.”
“If there’s an apartment manager report it to them via email so there is a paper trail that you’ve told them to move it.”
“I did this with a neighbor who let their dog run rampant in the building despite rules to carry or leash dogs in all common areas.”
“I told the building manager and neighbor that if I tripped and fell because the dog was running loose under my feet, I would hold them liable and sue the building, building manager, and neighbor for personal damages and health care costs.”
“It stopped pretty quickly.” ~ bevymartbc
“I think it’s time to ask management if you can put in a video doorbell for your safety and peace of mind.”
“If you can, play up the ‘single mum/S[tay]-A[t]-H[ome]-M[om] with young child/baby’ angle, and having the camera will help you feel safer knowing that there is proof/evidence if anything happens to either of you.”
“If they still say no, then just get a camera with audio and place it on a bookshelf or hallway table close to the door where it can see and hear everything whenever that door is open.”
“That way, you won’t have to remember to record next time.”
“You could also reach out to your local fire station about what options you have and what they can do to help because, ultimately, they will be the ones going in to save you in a fire, and it sounds like this couple won’t listen until it’s affecting them financially.”
“You could even talk to your local police station and get your side on record just in case anything happens (or if they try to report you for harassment – if the fire marshall talks to them).” ~ Environmental_Art591
“I was thinking that OP can figure out a way to put a camera inside your apartment that points at the door – and whenever you answer the door, don’t close it entirely in order to capture any problems.”
“Them leaving the stroller in front of OP’s front door is absolutely ridiculous.”
“Especially since they have a baby of their own!!”
“They couldn’t even do the bare minimum of folding the stroller.”
“Somehow, the mom calling her mom to lecture seems about appropriate for their apparent maturity level.” ~ UCgirl
“LOLOLOL! I’m sorry honey.”
“I’m not laughing at you or an obviously frustrating situation.”
“But the neighbor came to the door to have her mother confront you by phone?”
“Sometimes people are just so unbelievably ridiculous it just makes you laugh. NTA.” ~ Aware_Welcome_8866
“NTA. Does this person think that the mother screaming over the phone keeps her safe?”
“Record everything and pass it on to management.” ~ Micubano
“NTA! I personally would’ve thrown it in the trash.” ~ Lil_lofts
“NTA. It’s really not your problem that they have a huge stroller and don’t want to carry it up.”
“Blocking your door (and a lot of hallway space) is a no.”
“Can’t believe they won’t even fold it up!” ~ rxchhxl
“NTA. Oooh, how scary.”
“She got her Mommy to yell at you, what gutless, juvenile reaction.”
“If they keep blocking your door, move it outside onto the front stoop.” ~ Any-Split3724
“NTA. Don’t even think about it.”
“Each and every single time that stroller is in front of your door, take a picture and send it to property management along with the date and time.”
“If/when they ring your doorbell, be prepared to record it BEFORE you open the door.”
“Record the whole thing, and send it to property management.”
“Involve the police and the court system.”
“It is not your problem that they live on the third floor and don’t want to take the stroller upstairs.”
“Want to REALLY piss them off?”
“Put a For Sale sign on it, $75 – Or Best Offer.” ~ AtlJazzy2024
“NTA. I’m so sorry you have to deal with these idiots.”
“However, in NYC, this kind of situation is not that unusual.” ~ gfdoctor
“NTA. I say this as someone living on the 4th floor, with no elevator, and with a baby.”
“I bought a special stroller that could fold up and be placed out of the way and off the floor and in compliance with fire code and I fold it and put it away every time.”
“I’ll admit, carrying a stroller and baby up 3 flights of stairs is a bit much, but fire code is more important than convenience.”
“They need to find a solution that is in compliance with the fire code and stick to it.”
“Sounds like you found a solution but they’re being selfish and lazy.”
“They are never going to listen to reason, so just refuse contact and keep letting the landlord know about the fire code violation.” ~ Numahistory
“NTA, although I’m baffled that you didn’t just close the door.”
“Also why didn’t you report it the first time you found it there?”
“Against fire codes means if there’s a fire it’s a safety threat to your family.”
“Never put up with BS that endangers you.”
“Please be more assertive.”
“You come across rather passive and meek here.” ~ ApprehensiveBook4214
“NTA, but I would invest in a camera for your front door.”
“You can also suggest to the property manager that they install a security camera and issue fines for each infraction.”
“Paying a ticket each time they do that will get old real quick.” ~ Little_Loki918
“Go through management now for everything, including as others have said, reporting threats.”
“Every smartphone now has a voice recorder app on it.”
“If you have to have another conversation with these people, have the app open and ON/Recording when you begin talking to them, and record everything they say.” ~PickleManAtl
“NTA. People complain about passive aggression, but one round of this sort of interaction is exactly why people turn to solutions like ‘posting it on freecycle’ the next time they have a run-in with folks like this.” ~ gringledoom
“NTA. How would you think you’re the AH in this?”
“You politely asked, they refused/didn’t follow up with their promises, and then you made management deal with it since apparently a personal request didn’t work.”
“You have an infant yourself, they logically should understand you know the struggle.”
“But it’s their choice to live on the 3rd floor.” ~ VictoriousSeahorse
“Can’t believe a woman of 40 called her mum to complain to you!!”
“That’s hilarious!”
“Somebody didn’t learn how to be an adult. NTA.” ~ Scottishpurplesocks
“Call the Fire Marshall and not your management company next time.”
“NY Fire Marshalls are basically firemen with law enforcement powers.”
“They DO NOT f**k around and will make those a**holes regret the day they were born. NTA.” ~ Fitz_2112b
“NTA. Next time put a sign on the stroller that says ‘free to a good home’ and see what the neighbors do.”
“Or a sign that says ‘$50 or best offer,’ and it should be gone in 10 minutes.”
“Or being petty, would move it in front of their front door and engage the breaks so it’s more difficult for them to move.” ~ needabook55
“Have you got my neighbors?”
“They’re also a couple in 40, who can’t stop reproducing.”
“They also live on the 3rd floor, keep their strollers on the ground floor, and both have very aggressive mothers.”
“Once someone even shat into their stroller, but it didn’t deter them from keeping it on the ground floor. 😆.”
“My advice: don’t initialize any interactions with; if it happens anyways, record it.”
“NTA and f**k your neighbors.” ~ unselectedcases
“NTA. People suck.” ~ apothekryptic
OP came back with an Update…
“I appreciate the outside perspectives.”
“I didn’t think I was TA, but I do have hardcore people-pleasing tendencies, and it was very clear my actions hurt people’s feelings, and it gave me self-doubt.”
“The reason I engaged with the mother on the phone at all is bizarre, too; it’s all just too weird, and I’m reeling a little, lol.”
“The 40 F neighbor has an unusual way of speaking.”
“I haven’t been able to work out if it is an accent or what.”
“When she put the mother on speaker phone, I had a sinking thought that maybe the 40 F neighbor is deaf and needs someone to talk for her, and I felt bad that maybe I’d made a deaf person feel victimized when they can’t speak up for themselves????”
“But like she clearly wasn’t deaf, her mother was just on speaker phone with no video, and she had zero issues following the conversation.”
“Apart from this incident and the other shi**y neighbor stuff this woman and her man have pulled, they seem like normal functional adults.”
“The man does not have an unusual way of speaking.”
“I don’t think her unusual way of speaking is really a factor in whether I’m TA, and I have been so eager to be polite and respectful.”
“It became clear very quickly the phone call wasn’t really about helping in communication, but just messy people expressing their anger as much as possible.”
“But yeah, that’s why I let the phone call happen. Messy.”
Messy sounds like the perfect way to describe this… mess.
Reddit is with you, OP.
The entitlement these people feel is outrageous.
You get to feel safe and comfortable in your own home.
Keeping a log for a future police report could be a good idea.
Good luck.