Receiving baby gifts from your in-laws can be tricky as Redditor ohnobabyclothes has discovered.
On one hand, she was grateful for the gesture. But on the other hand, she saw the clothes her in-laws chose for her baby were rather vulgar.
She quickly learned that her sense of humor was incompatible with that of her husband’s sister and mother’s.
Not wanting to hurt their feelings, she took to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit and asked WIBTA (would I be the a**hole) if she:
“returned/exchanged the baby clothes my in-laws bought since they’re vulgar?”
The Orignal Poster (OP) wrote:
“I am a new mom of a one-month old. He is me and my husbands first baby and the first grandbaby on my husband’s side.”
“We are from America and grew up in the deep south and are his family is very Southern.”
“His sister and mom bought us a TON of baby clothes. I appreciate it, but a lot of their humor/style doesn’t translate over to what I want my son wearing.”
“For instance we have a camo onesie with orange trim. I put that on him sometimes and it’s cute, but not something I’d pick.”
“However, there are some other ones I do not approve of at all. Some examples of the clothes:”
“A onesie with a gun and the words ‘Proof my Daddy Doesn’t shoot blanks.'”
“’I was just supposed to be a backrub!’”
“’Little sh*t making big sh*ts!’”
“’Dad’s a real mother f’er!’”
“’Dads, Lock up your daughters.’”
A”nd of course the classic ‘Boobie Inspector.’”
“These are just my least favorite, there’s more though.”
“Are these funny? To some people maybe. But I find comments on my sex life with my husband to be weird.”
“Also, I don’t want my baby wearing curse words. Call me a prude if you must. My husband also doesn’t want to put him in these clothes.”
“That being said I feel bad they bought so many clothes for him that we won’t be using. They’re not bad people and I know they had to have spent a lot.”
“I don’t know if I should return the clothes to them (no receipt, they were bought online I think) so they can regift them or get their money back, or if I should just put them in a corner of the dresser and hope they never notice he never wears a majority of their gifts.”
“Wibta if I gave them their gifts back?”
Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked if and where guilt belongs by declaring:
NTA – Not The A**hole
YTA – You’re The A**hole
ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
NAH – No A**holes Here
“1st, NTA for not wanting your kid to wear those things. I got a similar shirt as one of those for my baby shower last year, and my daughter has come nowhere near it.”
“Personally, I would just put them in a corner somewhere and wait (assuming they’re newborn or 0-3, your kid is going to be out of those so fast it isn’t funny.”
“My daughter fit those for like 6 weeks–even up to about 9 months, you fly through) Then once he’s moving into bigger sizes, offer them back.”
“You don’t have to get into it that way (we were just so busy and he grew so fast, I never got to use them! Would you like them to gift to someone else?)”
“Otherwise, if you have a secondhand kid store, you can always give them there and get store credit. I did that with half the clothes from my shower, not because I didn’t like them, but as I said, 6 weeks and we were sleep deprived enough that she wore maybe 3 different outfits over that time because it was too much work to do other outfits.” – VanityInk
“Don’t give the clothes back even after your son outgrows them it will cause drama.”
“I went through the same thing. Our son was the first great grandson of the first grandson and all the in-laws had to buy all the dumbest stuff they could find.”
“I made sure I got all the tags off and washed everything so it didnt look unworn and it stayed in his dresser for the few weeks it took to outgrow it then it all got donated in bulk to a local church fundraiser for the needy. They were thrilled and so was I.” – Wintersmight
“Agreed, no need to rock the boat by giving the gifts back. Sometimes people buy stuff like this just as a gag to have a laugh when you’re opening it, I’ve never had someone get upset that they didn’t see me wearing a joke tshirt they got me.” – insomniac29
“The only problem with not bringing this up with OPs in-laws would be that they’ll likely keep buying clothes for the baby in this same fashion as the baby grows.”
“While it might not rock the boat as much to just stick then in a corner, OP is going to have to deal with this for the baby’s entire life if she doesn’t speak up now.” – hasaul
“NTA, I would also just put it in a corner and forget about it.”
“I don’t think they’ll necessarily be offended because it’s not like you’re going to be sending pictures to them every single day and so to them you’re dressing him up in those clothes and just not sending them pictures of it, and you don’t have to actually dress them up in the clothes.”
“If anything, if they do notice maybe by the time they do he would have outgrown them and you can tell them that you had so much clothes that he outgrew them before you got the chance to put them on.” – bnk0129
“YWBTA if you insisted the gift giver take them back, it’s just tacky (not that their gift isn’t.)”
“YWNBTA if they mysteriously got donated to goodwill or sold to someone else, or returned to the store.” – typicalaquarius
As a way to play it safe, Redditors suggested there are other baby gift options worth exploring.
“Based on feedback after a LOT of baby showers, I do the nail clippers, baby sunglasses, burp cloths, and a basket of really gentle bath stuff.”
“I usually throw in a pack of onesies in 6-12 mos in colors that match the nursery theme or parents’ interests, too.”
“It’s not as much fun as buying cute little outfits but I’m pretty sure that stuff is more likely to be used than adorable but impractical tiny clothes.” – seanchaigirl
“I pick the most boring thing on the baby shower registry. Everyone wants to buy the cute clothes and blankets, nobody wants to buy the practical gifts.” – hydrangeasinbloom
Whether Redditors suggested for the OP to either donate or stash the unwanted clothes in the corner never to be worn by the baby, most agreed that a confrontation with her in-laws was not necessary.