As hard as it may be to accept, there are going to be a few people in our lifetimes who genuinely do not like us.
Once their minds are set, there’s really nothing we can do to change it, admitted the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
But Redditor Liaismywife didn’t realize just how much his sister disliked his wife until she came to pick up her son and daughter from their house after needing an emergency babysitter.
When his sister started accusing his wife specifically of not keeping her children safe, the Original Poster (OP) knew he had to speak up for his partner.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for calling my sister ‘a crazy, delusional woman’?”
The OP knew his wife and sister didn’t particularly get along.
“My wife, ‘Lia,’ has a few visible tattoos on her arm and many others that aren’t quite seen when she’s in regular clothes.”
“She’s far from a full-sleeve, but she likes them and has many plans to get more in the future.”
“My sister, ‘Katy,’ called me in the early morning, distraught and frantic, begging me to watch her son (6) and her daughter (4) for the weekend.”
“I said yes right away and she dropped off her children and left.”
“To be honest, I thought that I would be the last person Katy would call in an emergency.”
“Katy hates Lia. Not for any justifiable reason, but because Lia has ‘thug tattoos,’ as she describes. Katy believes that a woman with tattoos is a ‘whore’ and will only ‘corrupt a good home.'”
“Of course, because of these comments, I choose not to speak to my sister often.”
But when they were babysitting Katy’s children, everything was going well.
“Lia and I took my niece and nephew to the playground, where my nephew fell and scraped his knee a little.”
“As expected, he was in tears for a few minutes, but Lia cheered him up, played with him, and placed a ‘Hello Kitty’ band-aid on the cut.”
“It was a very small accident.”
But Katy didn’t think so.
“When Katy came to pick them up, the first thing that she noticed was the band-aid covering my nephew’s knee.”
“She immediately stormed over to Lia, who was bringing over some tea for Katy, and accused her of deliberately hurting her child.”
“Lia was very confused, and I tried to explain the manner in which my nephew got the bandaid.”
“But Katy wasn’t listening. She kept blaming Lia, and only Lia, for not ‘taking better care of her children.'”
The accusations soon turned much darker.
“Things began to quickly escalate.”
“Lia was trying to get Katy’s kids to pack their things so that they could get out of there as fast as possible.”
“Katy kept threatening to call the police on Lia while accusing her of very serious crimes.”
“At the moment, it didn’t look like these were empty threats either, as she was fishing in her purse for her phone.”
“Lia and I were confused but also worried.”
The OP felt the need to speak up.
“At this point, I was getting fed up and essentially yelled at Katy to stop acting like a ‘crazy, delusional person,’ and told her to leave my house at once.”
“She was upset but left 5 minutes later.”
“Of course, Lia is happy that I did that but wishes I didn’t yell, especially in front of the children. She thinks I should have handled the situation more diplomatically.”
“My family has taken Katy’s side as it’s only a ‘mother’s instinct to want to protect her children.'”
“AITA for what I said?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**hole Here
Some thought the sister was unrealistic and was looking for a way to blame Lia.
“NTA at all. Making a huge deal out of a scraped knee on a 6-year-old boy who has been to the playground, appropriately cleaned and treated with a bandage, is delusional in and of itself. Blaming your wife for- what, deliberately scraping his knee? Seriously? Just because she gasp has tattoos?”
“Yeah, you said nothing inaccurate or undeserved.”
“Sheesh. When MY son was six at the playground, he managed an entire forehead gash that needed to be glued together and left a scar he still has ten years later. Without any help from me at all (he was playing tag, forgot to look where he was running and ran smack into a metal pole).”
“Scraped knee? Pfft. Amateurs.” – Katja1236
“Having tattoos doesn’t make a person bad. It is what is inside and it sounds like your sister is the one that has that problem, not your wife.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have yelled in front of the kids, but you were standing up for your wife to your irrational sister. IMO this stems from your sister being a tad off-kilter.”
“Congrats for standing up for your wife.” – dalekmasterplan
“I used to work in a pre-k program and got this from a parent once. Her daughter was accident-prone. She was always tripping and falling, and she once walked into a stall door in the bathroom, and her mother accused us of not supervising her appropriately.”
“What was I supposed to do, hold her hand everywhere? Some people just don’t have any sense when it comes to what kids are like.”
“NTA. She was acting crazy.” – ithadtobeducks
“Dude. OBVIOUSLY, her tattoos are sentient like Maui’s in ‘Moana,’ and the tattoos pushed the kid over directly. The tattoos were doing their own personal musical number and knocked him over during the transition from leg to arm. Happens to the best of us.” – Original-Stretch-464
“She’s now shown you that you can’t risk watching her kids because she’s looking for any reason to accuse your wife of some type of abuse.”
“Time for NC (No Contact) with Miss Katy and unfortunately her kids unless surrounded by witnesses.”
“Definitely NTA.” – Marmenoire
“NTA. It’s a husband’s instinct to protect his wife and family. Lia did nothing wrong here.”
“Sounds like Katy was just looking for a reason to slap down Lia and the bandaid was it.”
“Please don’t ever watch her children again. The next time, she may try to blame Lia for something horrible like SA (sexual assault) or kidnapping.” – MooseTek
Others agreed and strongly advised against helping Katy ever again.
“NTA. I think that needs to be the last favor you do for Katy. Maybe even the last time you speak to her.”
“What she threatened is incredibly serious. Obviously, there was no fault on your wife’s part or yours, but depending on what industry your wife works in, even the slightest rumor of those allegations can be damaging. Especially if your other family is backing your sister’s false claims.”
“Also, it may be a mother’s instinct to protect her children, but it is also a husband’s/wife’s instinct to protect their spouse. So you had just as much of a reason to yell.”
“My guess is that your family is also not a fan of your wife and has no problem with anything that could cause problems for her or your relationship.”
“Just wait until your siblings (niece and nephew) are old enough and reach out then. I’ve seen where people set up email boxes for their kids, and write them notes on birthdays, holidays, and special occasions. Then they give them the log-in when they turn 18.”
“You could do something like that if you want a way to show them when they are older that you always wanted a relationship with them.” – Forward_Squirrel8879
“OP, are these kids safe with your sister? She honestly sounds unstable. Either way, I would call her and let her know you will never watch her kids again, even in an emergency.”
“She behaved insanely, and you wouldn’t want her crazy accusations ruining your lives.” – crystallz2000
“It’s sad that the children will have to suffer the consequences of their mother’s actions. But you’re right, you have to protect yourself and your family (meaning your wife) from potential harm due to baseless accusations. NTA.” – Missy_went_missing
“Looks like your sister is going to have to go begging in the future when she needs an emergency babysitter because if I were you, she could literally come in with a missing limb, and I’d make her walk and take her kids with her.” – itsallminenow
“NTA. your sister can take her maternal instinct and find someone else to take care of her children.”
“Also, your family is delusional if they think this is okay. your sister is clearly going through some shit, but taking it out on the people who watched her kids for a FULL WEEKEND with no fucking notice is not okay. your family is coddling her, so next time they can take the kids in.”
“You should have a talk with your sister. tell her that you will never again watch her children, because even though they were pleasant (sounds like it), you will not stand by and watch her verbally assault and threaten your wife again. she can find alternate accommodations for her children next time.” – OkVideo3601
“NTA, and don’t ever let Katy leave her kids with you again.”
“She sounds emotionally disturbed. I also think that Katy was the one escalating things; your yelling was probably not the weirdest or most upsetting thing the kids have seen.”
“If a mother wants to protect their child, they don’t go crazy over a scrape and a bandage.” – pdxflwerpwer
“NTA. Your sister and your family are wrong. It’s not mother’s instinct here at play. No parent wants to see their child hurt, but all parents know things happen and kids get hurt.”
“She has built some sort of image of your wife that is completely fabricated and has led to her making assumptions that are just not true.”
“If your family thinks your sister’s reaction was valid, you may want to rethink spending time with any of them.”
“I understand your wife wishing you didn’t yell in front of the kids, but mistakes happen, and it seems like you made a reasonable decision based on an irrational house guest.” – ToxicLogics
While the OP recognized that his wife wished they could have better kept the peace than the situation allowed for, the subReddit completely understood why the OP yelled.
It may be a mother’s instinct to protect her children, but it is also a husband’s instinct to protect his wife.