Pushy in-laws can be a rough life battle for many couples.
There are always going to be unwarranted opinions.
Most couples can take it in stride.
The only thing worse than a pushy in-law is a pushy grandparent.
Case in point…
Redditor SuccessfulWeb3586 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for kicking my M[other] I[n] L[aw] out of the room for trying to change the baby’s name?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (29 F[emale]) gave birth to my son last week.”
“My husband (32 M[ale]) and I agreed to name son after my father.”
“My father passed away when I was 14 and we were very close.”
“His middle name is named after his husband’s grandfather.”
“My MIL is very opinionated about everything.”
“She has been giving us her opinion on everything for our son.”
“The day I was due, I only wanted my husband there.”
“He drove me to the hospital and MIL walks into the room and starts babbling on about the baby’s name, feeding schedules, etc.”
“I kept it together as best as I could.”
“After my son was born, MIL was trying to talk my husband into convincing me to change his name.”
“She asked the nurses if she could legally change his name.”
“She even went as far as to accuse me of controlling my husband into his name.”
“I yelled at her to get out of the room and we will not be changing the name.”
“She left and has been telling family members a different story.”
“My husband has been sticking up for me and told her that nothing will be changed.”
“If she continues, we will be cutting her off from seeing her grandson.”
“Now, most of her side of the family are calling me names and demanding I apologize to my MIL.”
“She has texted me a few times calling me an AH.”
“AITA for kicking her out?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA- and I would tell her this- you have one chance.”
“You stop this madness now, you apologize for your behavior, and you tell everyone else to back off- or this is literally the last you will ever hear from us, and you will never see this child again.”
“You are not the parent, you do not have a say, and until you submit and accept this- there is nothing here for you.” ~ chuckinhoutex
“This is good advice, but have her son/your husband do it.”
“She’ll see he stands with you.”
“Your family’s presence is your leverage, and she has to earn it back.”
“Enjoy your new baby!” ~ Pragmatic_Hedonist
“How did MIL even know OP went into labor and was going to the hospital?”
“It seems obvious that her husband told MIL and then didn’t manage her in any way.”
“OP is obviously NTA but I’m side-eyeing her husband at least a little right now.” ~ StonyOwl
“I have come to understand that, but I still don’t process it well because my parents were abusive, so when as an adult, they tried to get closer.”
“I was just surprised at them (especially disgusted at that sperm donor, little fakey coward he is)!”
“When they triggered me, I’d just blow up at them and go N[o] C[ontact] for a long time.”
“There is no way my egg donor nor the sperm donor could ever have any hold over me.”
“The way they treated us just backfired on them, hard!”
“Egg donor made sure we were independent (we can all cook, we clean, and we know how to deal with our mess), and we used to think she was this progressive woman for her times!”
“Nope, she was just using us as her little slaves!”
“So that backfired for her because once we moved out, we barely needed her, and there is no way she’d entice us to ‘come over for dinner’ etc, like on some of the posts I’ve read on here.”
“Even older brother, who is the golden child, can’t stand them and had them figured out early.”
“Younger sis was more the emotional dump for egg donor, but she’s also cut ties with them.”
“All this to say: I can’t quite understand how in their minds some people can’t confront their parents and lay down boundaries.” ~ DatguyMalcolm
“My husband legit threatened to trespass and litter on our road (dirt road but MIL peeled out of our drive and sent glass flying out of her truck).”
“He told her to clean it up, or he’s calling the police.”
“He looked back out, and she was picking up broken glass in the middle of the road after a huge tantrum because she didn’t ask him to help move her sh*t from our basement.”
“We’ve been NC before, and it was glorious.”
“I’ve told husband if she shows up unannounced, I will call the police (we have no trespassing signs up) and if things go the way I would think she’ll get trespassing and possession.”
“She only comes over if she’s invited and that’s for at least 3hrs because she and her SO will legit eat all my food.” ~ spookymom_26
“I agree with the first part and possibly no contact for the time being.”
“But, in the long run, if she can act right, the MIL should be given the chance to get to know her grandchild for the child’s sake.”
“Some mothers can be a pain in the a**, but they can sometimes make wonderful grandmothers.”
“My mom and I haven’t always got along, but she adores my now grown kids and they adore her.”
“I wouldn’t do anything to hurt their relationship even if she annoys me.”
“Granted, my mom isn’t like OP’s MIL.” ~ AngelWithCrookedHalo
“Hell no, you’re NTA.”
“Barging into the delivery room where you are unwanted is already a huge AH move.”
“Barging in and demanding to change the baby’s name, and even asking the nurses how she can do this legally??”
“Wow. I just… wow.”
“She can accept the name and let you parent YOUR baby, or she can stay away.”
“Same goes for anyone taking her side.” ~ WhosMimi
“NTA – Don’t wait. Just cut her off.”
“You just had a baby, and she is doing her absolute best to ruin what should be a joyful and exciting time for you.”
“She has decided that if she can’t be happy, then nobody can.”
“There is no way to negotiate or set boundaries with people who act this way.”
“Don’t let her ruin this time for you.”
“Block her and, for now at least, anyone who is taking her side.”
“Have your husband reach out to his family and tell them that you two don’t need the added drama and are taking time out from them to focus on your newborn.”
“Once you two have a chance to catch your breath, he can reach back out to other family and set the record straight on any lies she has told.” ~ Forward_Squirrel8879
“NTA. You just had a baby, and this woman wants to waltz in and then ASK THE NURSES if SHE can change the name?”
“Is something wrong with her?”
“The petty part of me wants to say ‘hit it on that angle. She clearly can’t be all there if she’s doing this right?’ and play it up to relatives, but honestly, just cut her off for a little while and have a good time bonding with baby!”
“You need to recover, not be dealing with all of this.”
“Could your husband take your phone for a bit, something like that?”
“And also – congratulations!”
“Bringing a new little one home is definitely one of those experiences that words don’t fully describe.” ~ Shivaelan
“NTA. The f**k is wrong with this old woman that she thought the delivery room was the optimal place to bring this topic up.”
“She was doing everything beyond trying to forge the birth certificate to control the name.”
“I wouldn’t apologize, hell I’d air out this laundry online and blast her publicly for being a controlling a**hole.”
“I’d also laugh at the extended family wherever possible because they’re clearly beyond hope.” ~ MundanePlanet
“NTA – congrats on having a husband that’s rare to find on this sub.”
“Keep being a partnership and hold that line together.”
“Tell your MIL she either shapes up or is restricted from seeing her grandbaby she seems to have so many opinions about.”
“Congrats on your new, tiny human!” ~ CuriousTsukihime
“NTA. She’s obviously spun a good lie to the rest of her family.”
“Pressure your husband to deal with his mom and to clarify the truth with the rest of the family.”
“And most importantly, to firmly put a boundary in place with his mom and the family that if anyone of them has a problem, they go through him and him alone.”
“It’s your husband’s job to mediate things between you and his family just as it’s your job to mediate things between your family and him.”
“Right now, your husband is failing to do his job.”
“Hubby is clearly not doing his job right.”
“You just have a massive uphill battle against a monster mother.” ~ HarveySnake
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
This is far more stress than you need.
You and your husband do what you need to do.
And enjoy your baby.
Good luck.