We’ve all forgotten someone’s name. It happens.
In some cases, we’ve even been embarrassed enough to have said individual correct us in front of others when we’ve made this social blunder.
Thankfully, forgetting someone’s name is a fairly forgivable offense if you only do it once.
More than that, however, the mistake becomes slightly harder to accept.
Particularly if it’s your own family.
Redditor Illustrious_Bit_178 was frustrated when her in-laws couldn’t seem to remember her name when she first met them.
The original poster (OP) was even less pleased when many years later, she discovered her in-laws still referred to her by the incorrect name to all their names.
Requiring her to set the record straight, much to her mother-in-law [MIL]’s chagrin.
Having doubts about the way she handled the matter, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my husband’s parents to stop telling people my name is Katherine and for embarrassing them in front of friends?”
The OP explained why her exchanges with her MIL’s friends at a party did not sit well with her at the end of the night.
“My name is Rynn.”
“Just Rynn.”
“Not Katherine.”
“But ever since my in-laws [ILs] have met me, they have gotten the idea that my actual name is Katherine and Rynn is just a nickname.”
“I have asked them not to introduce me or tell people it’s my name, but they always go back to it.”
“My husband and I took a small break from them when it continued, and they apologized and seemed to be doing better.”
“Then for my MIL’s birthday we were invited to celebrate with them, and a couple of her friends came up to me and asked if I was Katherine.”
“They said MIL talked all about me. I decided to get a little bit jokey instead of annoyed and played up on it saying MIL is so forgetful and that I was so sorry she told them the wrong name.”
“That I’ll need to write my name on everything she owns, so they don’t forget.”
“Her friends found it funny but told her it was weird that she gave them the wrong name.”
“She and FIL came up to me close to the end of the party, and I told them to stop telling people my name is Katherine, and they need to accept that my name isn’t up to them.”
“They claim I was rude and that it was awful for me to try and embarrass them in front of their friends (by joking with MILs friends). “
“My husband told them they should have listened.”
“But they are saying I took it too far and maybe I did.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for correcting her name to her MIL’s friends, or for confronting her in-laws afterward.
Everyone agreed that far too much time has gone by for her MIL to keep making these same mistakes, and the OP had every right to be annoyed and take matters into her own hands.
“NTA.”
“This conversation should never have gone past:”
“You: ‘Hey MIL I’m Rynn nice to meet you’.”
“MIL: ‘Oh hi I’ve not heard that name before is it short for Katherine?’.”
“You: ‘No, just Rynn’.”
“MIL: ‘Alright nice to meet you, Rynn’.”
“Because that’s how a normal introduction goes with literally every sane person on the planet.”-TellmeTom2
“How are they unaware that they’re embarrassing both you and themselves in front of their friends?”
“It’s a basic of decent manners to get people’s names right, to the best of one’s abilities, whenever possible.”
“NTA, Rynn.”
“I like your sense of humor.”- Professional_Ad9013
“NTA .”
“‘Can I introduce you to Brian, my mother-in-law & Stephanie, my Father-in-law’.”- CaeruleanSea
“NTA.”
“You’re not ’embarrassing her’ by telling people your own actual name.”
“Consistently, repeatedly getting someone’s name wrong is disrespectful and rude.”
“It indicates that either (a) you aren’t important enough for them to bother to learn your name, or (b) they do know it, and just don’t like it and prefer to call you something else.”
“Neither is okay.”
“You don’t have to pretend your name is something else just because your ILs don’t respect you enough to use your real name.”- aitchbee
“NTA.”
“Took it too far?”
“She’s introducing and calling you by the wrong name.”
“OP, just start calling them a different name and see how they like it.”- CheeseAndPasta97
“NTA.”
“They obviously play a game that is not funny for you (wrong name), you play a game that is not funny for them (being forgetful).”
“I suggest you increase the dose to accomplish the wished effect: next time it repeats, it’s not plain forgetfulness, it’s a disorder still to be diagnosed that has you & your husband concerned.”-Mrs_Naive_
“NTA.”
“Cool name.” –WaftingThoughts
“No, you’re NTA at all.”
“I don’t know what’s up with your ILs, but this is bizarre and extremely rude of them”- SickofItAll_4200
“NTA! “
“My name is Michael, I Go By Mike.”
“I once answered the phone at work telling someone my name is Mike, they proceeded to ask me if my given name was Michael or Mike.”
“I told her it was Michael.”
“She informed me that she was not going to be calling me Mike as my actual name was Michael.”
“That pissed me off.”
“I can only imagine how much it pisses you off that Katherine isn’t even your name and they insist on using it.”- mykulFritz
“NTA.”
“You’ve explained multiple times that isn’t your name and have been ignored.”
“You are not wrong for having boundaries.”
“I don’t understand why they keep intentionally doing it.”- True-Mousse4957
“NTA.”
“You’ve asked them to call you by your actual name multiple times, and she has refused to do so.”
“She is embarrassed because her friends thought it was weird she would tell them an incorrect name for you.”
“It IS weird, and she should be embarrassed by her behavior.”
“At least you tried to joke about it with her friends rather than directly just tell them that she is an AH who refuses to address you by your real name.”
“You did not take anything too far.”
“Your in-laws are AHs.”- someperson717
“NTA.”
“I loved your way of dealing with this!”
“Way to be firm, and this will stop a lot of foolishness from them in the future.”- Far-Cup9063
“NTA and I get to tell my favorite boss story again, yay!”
“So I have a name that has several nicknames.”
“I go by a less common one.”
“Think Danielle, but instead of Dani it would be Elle.”
“My boss was Richard and went by Richie.”
“He decided one day to start calling me Dani because I had joked that I didn’t like it.”
“All in good fun.”
“He says ‘Hey Dani!’ and I replied ‘Yes, DICK?'”
“We all laughed and laughed.”
“He never did it again.”- MySquishyFishy
“NTA.”
“Where is your husband in all this?”
“If my parents were intentionally giving people the wrong name for my wife after being corrected multiple times, I would have at minimum a very firm talk with them about them disrespecting my wife.”
“A loud and embarrassing public scene correcting them would not be out of line.”- mattmrob99
“NTA.”
“Your in-laws are purposely being hateful and dismissive and disrespectful.”
“They’re toxic.”
“You have every right to correct them to whoever they lie to.”
“You also have the right to demand and expect them to use your correct name.”
“It’s not up to them.”
“This reminds me of a story with my father and aunt.”
“Their names were Larry and Betty.”
“These were the legal names on their birth certificates.”
“One of the teachers at their school would insist that they were lying when they would correct her from calling them Lawrence and Elizabeth.”
“They brought in birth certificates, and it still didn’t stop her.”
“She kept insisting those nicknames were not proper names.”
“She even had the audacity to list their names in the yearbooks as Lawrence and Elizabeth.”
“She was in charge of the yearbook committee and could change submissions, even though it isn’t their names.”
“It was so incredibly rude and disrespectful.”
“My grandfather went in and raised a lot of hell with her and the school district and demanded she be reprimanded for her behavior.”
“They ended up removing my dad and aunt from her classes.”
“And apparently they did not renew her contract the next year as she wasn’t employed there again.”
“The point is:”
“Your in-laws deserve to be held accountable for their actions.”
“It’s not an accidental slip when they keep repeating their ‘mistakes’ after being corrected several times.”
“They’re free to choose their actions, but they don’t get to choose the consequences to their actions.”
“Also, they need to understand that you were being kind and respectful to them in front of their friends.”
“You could have completely humiliated them by not taking the joking approach and told their friends the brutal truth – that they continuously lie about your name being ‘Kathrine’ when it’s actually Rynn, and they know it is.”
“And you could have also pointed out they purposely lied to their friend’s faces while also disrespecting you and their son at the same time.”
“That would have really made it a lot worse for them.”- Gorgeous-Angelface
One can’t help but point out that if the OP’s MIL had simply made the effort and remembered the OP’s name this whole situation could have been avoided.
One can only hope she’ll never forget the OP’s name ever again.