All parents can’t wait to attend major milestones in their children’s lives.
These include graduations, weddings, and awards ceremonies.
Of course, some parents also make a point never to miss all other milestones, including their first steps, their first words, learning to walk, and each and every birthday.
So determined are some parents to witness these milestones and more, that they find it hard to forgive themself should they miss even one.
Redditor SeniorPlantain5540 recently shared a moment with his son that led him to believe the time was right to teach him an important lesson.
An important lesson every young boy must learn at some point in their life.
The original poster (OP) jumped on the opportunity, much to the outrage of his wife, who was furious he went through with this milestone without even letting her know.
Wondering if he had done anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for showing my son how to shave?”
The OP explained why his wife was furious at being left out of a moment he recently shared with his son:
“My wife is saying ITA for showing our (14) son how to shave.”
“This morning I was shaving and thought it was a good time to show my son how to shave since he is going through all the stages of puberty.”
“My wife heard what we were doing and got extremely upset and started crying because I didn’t ask her if it was okay to do this.”
“I don’t think this is anywhere near a huge deal to cry over honestly but need perspective.”
“She said this was a crucial moment for him and I don’t fully disagree but I also think these are the moments between father and son.”
“So AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for teaching his son how to shave without his wife present.
Just about everyone agreed that the reaction of the OP’s wife was probably her emotions getting the better of her, knowing that her son was not-so-slowly becoming a man, with many others finding the idea of a mother watching their son being taught how to shave strange, to say the least.
“NTA.”
“Your wife was probably just bugged out at the idea her ‘little guy’ is getting to the age where he had to shave.”
“That’s on her and you all should talk about it — esp about not freaking crying in front of your kid about something as mundane as shaving.”
“Like … have you all had the sex talk yet?”
“Because she’ll really need to keep it together for that.”
“But good on you teaching your son guy stuff, Internet Dad!”- DragonScrivner
“NTA.”
“Your wife doesn’t need to be involved in every moment of your son’s life.”
“And besides that, this feels more like a father-son bonding moment anyway.”
“Your wife is perhaps being emotional for seeing your son take another step into adulthood.”
“Talk with her when she is over the initial wave of feelings.”- ScarletleavesNL
“NTA.”
“Did she want to watch?”
“Did she expect to be involved in the lessons?”
“Does she have a beard?”- Flat_Educator2997
“NTA.”
“That is actually a CRUCIAL moment for father and son.”
“Truthfully, that moment might mean more to him than you’ll ever know.”
“Your wife might just be a little emotional since she doesn’t want her son to grow up so fast.”
“Just give it some time.”
“If this is the worst of your problems, you’re in for a smooth ride.”- itsaa_me_jdio
“Good heavens.”
“My dad started teaching me to shave before I was ten!”
“It was all faked, just shaving cream and a safety razor with no blade in it, just mimicry of what he was doing as a way to bond.”
“But, I did end up knowing what I’d need to do before I needed to do it.”
“NTA.”- dfjdejulio
“NTA.”
“He’s your son too, and you’re entitled to share these moments with him.”- ThrobbingLobbies
“Not me picturing my husband crying over the fact that I taught my daughter about tampons…”
“NTA.”- InvestmentNo8050
“NTA, weird overreaction there.”
“Did she want to watch or something?”- JoinMyPestoCult
“NTA.”
“Unless you’re married to the bearded lady from the circus.”- Pretend_Metal_6163
“NTA.”
“You don’t need permission for this task.”
“But I do think mama is upset her little boy is growing up, and allowing her some grace to get through that realization would be kind.”- Oktodayithink
“I mean, I’m a woman, and even I think that’s a weird reaction.”
“This is, without doubt, a father-son moment, not a family one.”
“Definitely NTA.”- ZookeepergameWise774
“NTA.”
“To be honest, when I first read this, I assumed you were saying a mother taught her son, and her husband was rightfully upset to miss this bonding moment.”
“This is a father-son thing, just like learning how to shave around your dangerous ankles is a mother-daughter thing.”
“If your family is gender neutral and shares all of life’s moments, then maybe this is a betrayal, but in most traditional families, you did nothing wrong.”
“If your wife cherishes mother-son moments and doesn’t bring you into them, then she’s TA.”
“I am a woman, fyi.”- Big_Zucchini_9800
“NTA your wife is probably a little sad that he’s growing up and he won’t be her baby boy any longer.”
“Dad, you’re doing a good job you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to do, keep up the good work.”- appleblossom1962
“NTA.”
“Lady needs help.”
“There are unspoken puberty-related things between a father and son (shaving, etc), just like there are similar things between mother and daughter (periods, pads, hygiene, etc).”
“Sure, you could’ve dropped a word, but having an absolute meltdown is way too overdramatic.”-Aurelie11111
“NTA.”
“I think she’s a bit self-centered.”- Ambassadorsevval
“NTA.”
“But unless there are other signs of her being controlling, I think people here are overreacting as well ironically.”
“She probably just got emotional due to being reminded that her son is growing up and acted a bit irrationally because of it.”- your-rong
“Sounds like mommy is afraid that she’s losing her little boy.”- Consistent_Cook9957
“Wow tell me his mother is a helicopter mom without telling me.”
“Perfectly fine (and preferred) for this to be a father son event.”
“She needs to cut the cord and stop being so controlling.”- UnluckyAd751
“Wait, I am confused, why would you need to ask your wife to have activity with your son?”
“Is he your bio son?”
“Every boy growing up wants to get to a point where they can shave.”
“I used to see my dad shave and leathered my face and shaved at 14 when I had no facial hair.”
“I think what you did is really good.”
“Thats how father should be around their sons.”
“Good on you.”- Short-pitched
“Yeah I think she’s probably just emotional seeing him growing up and taking another step forward into being a grown up.”
“Hopefully she’s more rational once she calms down but definitely NTA.”- jdo5000
“She’s probably just getting emotional because her kid is growing up.”
“Yes, she’s taking out her grief that her child is growing up and acting like the husband did something wrong when he absolutely didn’t.”
“‘Consult’ her about whether to teach their son a grooming & hygiene skill that he will require in his life?”
“What a joke.”
“She needs to sit with those feelings.”
“Its ok to grieve and even to cry but she’s misplacing her emotions onto the husband, because if she does that, she doesn’t have to acknowledge the actual truth, that her son is at an age where it’s appropriate to learn this skill.”
“I’m concerned now that this kid is old enough to shave and yet probably hasn’t even had one sex talk yet based on her freak out.”- BojackTrashMan
The OP later returned to offer an update, sharing how he eventually confronted his wife about her reaction and what she had to say:
“I confronted my wife about this and she said that it was a milestone moment and I should have stopped to get her to watch/record.”
“I explained that I wasn’t thinking about recording it and was more in the moment of it.”
“I apologized for it hurting her feelings but stressed that I don’t think I did anything wrong.”
“Now she says I’m inconsiderate of her feelings, and it shows I don’t care.”
“I appreciate all the comments; sometimes it helps to get other perspectives.”
It seems to be pretty clear that the Reddit community is correct in guessing that the OP’s wife is an emotional person.
And there is little that can tug at the emotions of a parent more than the fact that their children won’t be children for much longer.
Hopefully, the OP’s wife can take comfort in the fact that even if she missed her son’s first shave, there will be many, many more milestones she will be present for that she will treasure for the rest of her life.