Most of us like to do kind things for other people, and when it’s reciprocated, these acts can really brighten a neighborhood.
But the exact opposite can happen, as well, when a person is a jerk, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor ugh1875 was thoroughly over his neighbor’s behavior by the time the snowy season began.
Because of the man’s behavior, the Original Poster (OP) refused to help him remove the snow.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for refusing to snowblow my neighbor’s driveway for free?”
The OP worked hard to train his puppy.
“I (27 [Male]) live next to this guy in his 80s and he’s honestly a nightmare, but he’s old.”
“So in like 2015 or so, I told him I would snow blow his driveway for free.”
“Two years ago, I got a puppy who admittedly barked a lot. However, we did a lot of training with him, and he hardly barks at all now. I know this because I work from home so I’m always here.”
“My dog will bark maybe once or twice per day for less than 10 seconds each time, and it’s always during daylight hours (usually around noon).”
“I always shut it down quickly. I’m close with all of the other neighbors on my street, and I’ve asked them if they think my dog barks too much. They have all said that he doesn’t at all.”
His neighbor did not like the dog at all.
“As long as we’ve had my dog, my neighbor has complained about him. And his complaints are rude.”
“He has called us ‘incompetent a**holes’ and ‘f**king losers’ over our dog.”
“This summer, he told us that my relationship with him was no longer friendly, and we were to be strictly neighbors for the rest of the time that we lived together.”
“He even threatened to report us to the HOA to see if they would make me get rid of my dog.”
“I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t make me get rid of him, but that did really make me angry.”
Because of what the neighbor said, the OP wouldn’t help with the driveway anymore.
“Anyway, last night we got our first big snow of the season.”
“Instead of snowblowing his driveway like I usually do, I snowblowed mine and went back inside.”
“20 min later, he texted me saying that he was going to breakfast with his friend and needed his driveway snowblown so he could get out.”
“I responded that I would no longer be doing his driveway for free, since he had said that our relationship was no longer friendly.”
“I offered to do his driveway for $200, or I said he could pay one of the kids that live in the neighborhood.”
The neighbor was furious.
“He got p**sed and told me that he didn’t have time to coordinate with the neighborhood kids and that he needed his driveway snowblown.”
“I told him I would do it for $200.”
“He said he refused to pay me to do his driveway.”
“So I told him I wouldn’t do it.”
“It’s later in the day now and he hasn’t cleared his driveway yet.”
“I feel great, but he called me an AH in his texts.”
“My wife told me I might be an AH because he’s old.”
“So, I figured I’d pose the question here. AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the neighbor asked for it when he said he didn’t want to be friendly anymore.
“I would say, ‘You told me our relationship was no longer friendly, so I made a note not to do friendly things for you anymore. If you would like a service done, you can pay for that service.'” – CopyCat1993
“My husband would always plow our elderly neighbor’s sidewalk and driveway when he was alive. The family was always very appreciative.”
“I can’t imagine him demanding we do it. That’s nuts. NTA.” – sherlock—-75
“When I can’t get the driveway done because it’s heavy snow, I ask the neighbor if he’ll do it. He always does and I make some sort of sweet treat for him.”
“I’m lucky to have great neighbors.”
“NTA. He said you were strictly neighbors so he decided you didn’t need to do the driveway.” – Ducky818
Others agreed and added that the neighbor’s age did not matter.
“NTA. Being old doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be nasty.”
“He treats you guys so poorly and then expects you to just clean his driveway. Not a chance.”
“Tell him you wouldn’t want a f**king loser in his driveway. That you’re probably too incompetent to properly snowblow the driveway. He should get someone more competent.” – FranJ08
“If anything, he’s had more time to mature and learn how to handle things without being a huge d**k. He should be held to a higher standard than someone in their 20’s in regards to behavior and civility.”
“NTA.” – sagerideout
“Seriously. I’m sick of people letting older people get away with rude and disrespectful behavior just because of age. An AH is an AH regardless of any other factors.”
“This guy is just awful. My elderly neighbors knitted my partner and I hats last winter for shoveling their driveway.” – Illustrated_womxn
Some were more upset about how the neighbor threatened the dog.
“He was going to try to have OP’s dog removed for occasionally barking. That’s like calling CPS to have your kids removed because they sometimes squeal or laugh. F**k this guy.”
“NTA.” – Hagbard_Shaftoe
“F**k that guy. He threatened OP’s dog. A person’s dog is their family. Don’t threaten someone’s family and expect free labor from them.” – EvLokaDottr
“Don’t reward entitled people, OP. He said he doesn’t want to be on friendly terms. The way he has treated you over his dog is appalling. And then he assumed you would continue doing him favors.”
“Rewarding behavior like that by doing him any favors will not help anyone. He needs to learn how to treat people if he wants favors.” – SunshineOnStimulants
For fun, some shared stories of what it means to be a good neighbor.
“We have a neighbor the same age as us, and we’re constantly doing small favors for each other.L. It’s such a nice way to live.”
“When she’s out of town, we take care of her house and cats. She loves gardening, so we buy the supplies for both our gardens and she takes care of ours. She does work around the house for us.”
“We’re all Jewish, so she’s round for holidays.”
“It’s just a wonderful way to live. I can’t imagine being a curmudgeonly old a**hat with neighbors.” – The-Shattering-Light
“I shoveled for my lovely single-mom neighbor a few times just because I knew she was really busy (two jobs, etc) and our driveways were next to each other. She gave us so many Christmas tamales and her equally lovely teenage daughter would shovel our driveway when she got to it first.”
“The neighbors on the other sides were stand-offish jerks who kept leaving dog poop in common areas and then giving attitude if I asked them to clean it up. You can be damn sure I never helped them at all.” – Plushinobi
“He said your relationship was no longer friendly or neighborly, I can’t imagine doing anything for free after that.”
“My elderly neighbor makes me ziti after I shovel her driveway for free, your neighbor sucks.” – xaiires
While the OP and his wife couldn’t totally agree, the subReddit sided with the OP on this one. The neighbor had been unreasonably unkind recently, and there are consequences for negative actions. If he really wanted someone to snowblow his driveway, he needed to fix his kindness meter.