We’ve all known some really entitled people in our lives and some who simply cannot fathom the concept of no meaning no.
But that seems to be especially true of people who were able to coerce one person into doing what they wanted, and yet not being able to coerce someone else to do the same, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Icy-Face9463 was delighted to discover a bonus tornado bunker on their property when they purchased it over a year ago, but they were uncomfortable with the attention that their neighbor and children gave to the space.
After putting a lock on the bunker, the Original Poster (OP) was shocked that the neighbor demanded access to unlocking the bunker, since the previous owner of the home had given them unlimited access.
They asked the sub:
“AITAH for locking our neighbors out of our tornado bunker?”
The OP had recently purchased a home that also included a tornado bunker.
“Last year, we bought a house that came with a big bunker. I planned to use it as a studio/office because it’s perfect to block sound.”
“I finally started converting the space. Since I will be keeping expensive equipment down there, I’ve just had a heavy-duty lock installed.”
“Apparently, the neighbors’ kids used to play in it before and realized it was locked now.”
The neighbor wanted renewed access to the bunker.
“So their dad came round to talk to me about it.”
“He said the previous neighbor always left it unlocked so they could use it in case of a tornado. So it’s a big safety concern for him and his family that we’ve now put a lock on it as they don’t have a basement.”
“So he wants to come to some compromise about it.”
“I said if there’s ever a tornado, we would let them come in with us.”
“He said that’s not enough, though, because he noticed we’re out a lot. So he wants the code to the lock so they can get in if there’s an emergency.”
“He would also give his kids the code just in case they’re home alone (they are alone for several hours every day after school) and can’t reach him or their mom.”
The OP felt conflicted and suspicious.
“The thing is, I don’t know my neighbor or trust him or his kids.”
“I don’t want them to mess with my stuff, or they could give the code out to other people, and my things could get stolen.”
“It just seems shady and not like a good idea to me.”
“AITAH for not wanting to share the code?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some argued the OP could not guarantee the safety of their property if they shared the code.
“Don’t do it. If your expensive equipment is damaged or stolen, you will have no recourse, because you handed out the code.”
“You might as well leave your front door open for anyone to wander in.”
“Explain to the neighbor that it is your property and the old owners sold it. If they need a bunker, they will have to build one.”
“If you are home and an emergency arises, you could be nice and share your bunker. If you are not home, they will need to have other arrangements in place. That is their responsibility as adults and homeowners. NTA.” – Lucky-Guess8786
“If the kids aren’t going in there to get high or f**k now, just wait a few years. Kids will find places to play, teens will find places to drink, smoke, etc. Not OP’s problem.”
“AND it’s a massive legal liability if someone gets hurt down there. I’m willing to bet that if the neighbors would be the type of people to sue if someone happens on OP’s property.”
“Honestly, while a bunker would have been one of the coolest places to play in the world when I was a kid, and I would have definitely been disappointed if I lost out on my super cool secret hideout as a child, it’s just dangerous to let someone else’s kids have free range to a bunker like that.”
“As a human adult with a brain and mother of three boys, that’s an absolute hard no to the entire situation.” – realtorpozy
“NTA. No, no ‘compromise’. No code. He’s pretty d**ned bold, isn’t he?”
“If you feel you ‘need’ an excuse, just say, ‘My insurance does not cover for any possible injuries or issues in regards to use of property by third parties. Please ask your children to stop trespassing. Thank you. I will not be discussing this again.'” – Bunkydoodle28
“The moment the kids get the code, it will be playtime for them. Does this neighbor really think OP is that stupid?”
“If there is a tornado, then he can call you for the code (if you aren’t home). Or OP can let him in, because he’s already home when it hits.”
“Giving him the code to give to his kids would be no different than you never putting a lock on the door to begin with. No means no.” – rexmaster2
“The entitlement is what would have me concerned. Using a phrase like “compromise” implies he has a loose relationship with boundaries and needs to be kept at arm’s length. I wouldn’t give him the code even if there were a tornado warning while I’m out of town. In fact, I’d probably install at least one security camera to keep an eye on it just in case he tries picking the lock or worse.” – 3IIIIIIIIIID
“I’d be like, ‘H**l yeah, I’ll compromise: You can build your own d**n bunker.'”
“I hate when people act like taking half of something you have is a compromise. Compromise means you and I have two different reasonable positions that are still not compatible so we find a solution in the middle.”
“Apparently, the neighbor invited a whole new definition: ‘YOUR security and privacy will be compromised for MY comfort. What a great deal!'” – RBuilds916
“Well, if the bunker is on your property, it belongs to you, right?”
“So how does somebody come up with the thought of you having to let me come into your property every time me or my kids want and give me the keys?”
“If he is so focused on this, ask him for a minimum of one thousand dollars per month for the access, like an insurance policy for accessing the place in case the family damages anything. I don’t know how expensive your equipment is, but feel free to charge even more.”
“I bet he won’t go for it, and then you’ll have the upper hand, because you’ll be able to tell him that you ‘attempted to compromise by sharing the overhead expenses.’ Win-win.” – Fign
Others argued that the neighbors should have been responsible instead of reliant.
“If the neighbor is so concerned about emergencies, then why not build their own bunker so they wouldn’t have to mess around with codes and getting access to someone else’s property?”
“It really just seems like the smarter thing to do… Which is probably why the neighbor isn’t doing it.” – Straight_Ace
“If his kids can’t enter their home, they need the code to his own front door. Not to his neighbour’s bunker.”
“That was the craziest part of the story. Why do his kids need a place to hangout? I bet the neighbor wouldn’t want you hanging out in their house when they’re gone.” – Individual_You_6585
“They haven’t done anything for themselves because they’re CHEAP, which gives OP even MORE reason to say no, because that almost completely guarantees that he will not accept responsibility when the kids inevitably damage anything inside of the bunker.” – emjdownbad
“More importantly, if he was that concerned about using it in an emergency, why did he not approach OP when he first realized there was a new neighbor?”
“Guaranteed he was sick of his kids whining they’d lost their hideout and just wanted peace and quiet in his own house.” – Aslan_T_Man
“No is a complete sentence.”
“Is neighbor lazy? Otherwise, why does he not create his own.”
“Has the neighbor offered to pay, and arrange insurance on HIS DIME for any damage they will cause? Let me guess. No? Then a four-letter word followed by a three-letter word is the correct reply.”
“And you are you. Not the previous person.”
“That said, OP, be prepared for some serious guilt tripping by the dude and by his kids. Put up cameras, motion-activated sprinklers, and signs that say, ‘No trespassing.'”
“If you do live in tornado country, then why the beep has he not created his own provisions?” – SamuelVimesTrained
“The neighbor obviously needs to reinforce an interior closet in his house and that’s where they go in case of a tornado.”
“He should also learn where the closest municipal shelter is. A lot of tornado-prone areas have community storm shelters precisely because not everyone has a basement (or because a tornado might form before they get a chance to shelter at home). It’s a good safety practice he should do either way. After all, it’s what he’d need to do if the bunker wasn’t there to begin with.”
“A fun example of this: the airport for the city where I live is statistically the most tornado-prone airport in America. They beefed up all the bathrooms in the airport so they are sturdy enough to function as storm shelters. So all the bathrooms also have a sign saying ‘Tornado Shelter’ by the entrance!” – Carbonatite
In lieu of an update, the OP was relieved to see so many Redditors siding with them.
“Wow, that’s a lot of comments to wake up to.”
“Thank you all very much for commenting and confirming that it’s not a good idea to give them the code.”
The subReddit could not help but side-eye the OP’s neighbor in this situation, wondering how he could possibly come to the conclusion that just because one neighbor allowed him access to the bunker immediately meant that another should.
Especially now that the OP was using the bunker as a work and studio space, the OP not only had to worry about their equipment being damaged but potential private information, like for clients or creative projects, being accessed.
It was kind enough already that the OP offered for the family to join them in the bunker if a tornado arose. If they really lived in tornado alley, the neighbor should have made safety arrangements years ago.