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New Mom Balks After Sister Refuses To Watch Her Baby For A Few Minutes While She Showers

Photo by Katie Emslie/Unsplash

Everyone has free will.

We own our lives and make the decisions on how to spend the time.

But we also might want to help out with our time.

Sometimes a little help goes a long a way…

Case in point…

Redditor throwra_1039384756 wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for not watching my sister’s baby so she could take a shower?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My (19 F[emale]) sister (25) had her first baby a few weeks ago.”

“My Mom sometimes went over to her house to help out and my sister would sometimes come over while her husband was at work.”

“The other day, she came over and our Mom was out doing some grocery shopping.”

“She put the baby down to sleep and asked me to keep an eye on her so she could take a quick shower.”

“I told her that wasn’t my responsibility and she told me that I didn’t have to stay with the baby, but only check on them in case they were awake.”

“I told her that she can wait til Mom came home to shower and reminded her that she chose to have a baby not me.”

“She got upset and left to go check on her baby again.”

“My Mom came home and went to check on my sister.”

She later got mad at me asking why I didn’t just help my sister this one time.”

“I told her it wasn’t my responsibility and she can’t expect me to take care of someone else’s baby.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors declared our OP WAS the A**hole.

It’s a tricky situation.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

“YTA.  Listen my dude, I don’t know where you’re from or what family expectations are like where you are.”

“But, while a baby isn’t community responsibility, we as humans just generally make sure that they’re okay, right?”

“You hold the door for someone carrying a baby.”

“If a baby stares at you, you smile.”

“If a baby waves at you, you wave back.”

“Even if you’re in a more individualist country than a community based one, babies are helpless.”

“You treat them nicely because it’s very little hassle to be kind, and we as a society, want them to grow up to be other people that smile and wave at the babies.”

“People who express and receive kindness.”

“If a baby is in your family, you don’t have to volunteer to babysit, but keeping your eyes on her for five minutes to let your sister shower was a minuscule ask of you.”

“It’s a very common ask of new moms too.”

“And you acted like she was out of line.”

“Talking about responsibility when you were just going to be on TikTok twiddling your thumbs, while she cleaned her body that is currently recovering from a huge trauma.”

“It was an overreaction. It wasn’t necessary.”  ~ Ciderqueen_

“I can’t decide what’s more frustrating. The fact that you actually posted this or your absolute ignorance in how you treat others.”  ~ Danielle082

“Honestly, the fact that it’s her niece is just icing on the cake.”

“Because even if it was just a friend’s baby, the situation would still make her an AH.”

“She’s not being asked to take care of the kid, just make sure that it’s okay while it sleeps.”

“She doesn’t have to DO anything.”

“Even if the baby woke up OP would have had to do nothing more than let the sister know.”

“She’s just terrible.”  ~ Alarming-Contact-138

“I work in a hotel and would literally keep an eye on someone’s kid from behind the front desk if they needed to run back up to their room quick.”

“I was at the pool the other day with my 2 year old, and a little girl of about 5 was playing with her.”

“Her dad told her to get out so he could walk over to the smoking area to hit his vape.”

“I told him it’s fine if she stays in the kiddie pool with us and keeps playing with my daughter.”

“He seemed surprised and kind of skeptical but I told him it’s fine I will not judge you or think it’s weird and we will just be right here doing what we’re already doing anyway.”

“It doesn’t take much effort to be a decent human being.”

“Especially when it comes to women supporting other women!”

“A woman asked me if she could help me carry in the many bags/cooler I was taking in to the pool with me.”

“She didn’t have to ask, but she did.”

“Because there’s still a little human decency in the world.”

“So yea I agree with you, if she couldn’t even look out for her sister and niece, WTH is wrong with her?”  ~ National_Ferret_592

“While you are correct that the baby is not your responsibility, you come across as a totally self indulgent, self important, AH.”

“Unless your sister has been a total bitch to you your entire life, doing nothing with you or for you, never a favor, never a nice thing.”

“Then you have zero reason to not do her a very small favor and listen for her baby while she took a shower.”

“Not while she went to work, or shopping, or a nap. A. Shower. YTA.”  ~ Realistic-Animator-3

“A shower also helps with clearing your head, too.”

“Just helping a new mum out by watching the kid for 20 minutes while she has a shower, means that she is going to be so much more productive for the rest of the day.”

“A shower, especially for new mums, changes everything.”

“You see them going from emotionally and mentally drained and looking 20 years older, to being completely refreshed and ready to take on the world.”

“It’s a really good way to help a friend out.”  ~ fatalcharm

“What makes it even worse is that by not doing said favor, OP also wanted to place the burden on the mother.”

“By the sounds of things, OP is still living at home and being supported by her mother, when she is an adult and her mother has no real responsibility to house her, since she’s so hung up over the idea of ‘responsibility.'”

“How much of a horrible, ungrateful brat does a person have to be to have the attitude of ‘just make my mother do it?'”

‘”She already gives me a house and is buying food for the house to feed me, why shouldn’t she take on these extra burdens?'”

“Most adults would be incredibly greatful to be given so much by their parents and would try to help out in any way they could.”

“Not OP, though.” ~ Ihavesomeproblemslol

“OP said they’re child free.”

“Being child free, in the larger context, can have several definitions but it doesn’t mean being an AH to people with kids.”

“Additionally, I believe the widest definition of childfree is just simply not having children.”

“I’m aware of many childfree individuals who love their siblings (myself included) but just prefer (for whatever reason) to not have children.”

“The you have the other CF side like OP. “

“They generally refuse to be anywhere with children or take responsibility for other peoples children (yes, even to take a shower).”

“They want their lives to be void of any children whatsoever.”

“These people tend to come off as more of an AH in situations like this and from what I can tell, even in the CF community, these seem to be the extreme end of the spectrum.”

“OP- YTA, but, you need to remember that you live at home.”

“With your parents. People with children may come visit.”

“If you can’t handle children being in the home and keeping an ear out for them for even 5 minutes.”

“Maybe you need to re-examine your living situation for the future.”  ~ rtaisoaa

“The way this is written, OP doesn’t just come across as a totally self indulgent, self important AH.”

“Given her age she sounds like she’s still stuck in that horrible teenager phase of me, myself and I.”

“An egotistical person, that hopefully outgrows her current views on life and her place in it.”

“In other words, OP. Yes, it’s your sisters baby.”

“Yes, not your responsibility.”

“But a little kindness will go a long way and you didn’t even have to entertain the baby.”

“Not even lift your eyes off your screen, but listen to its crying and yelling for your sister.”

“Grow up a little.”  ~nordzeekueste

“The worst part about this is when a baby finally takes a nap during the day it could be long enough that the sister literally has to do nothing to help.”

“Just occasionally peek that the baby is breathing.”

“And it’s even more hilarious that OP lives with her mother who was out grocery shopping, presumably for things that OP would use.”

“Such an entitled human.” ~ coldpizza1524

OP… Reddit definitely has some thoughts on your actions.

No, you’re not a built in babysitter, but a small favor can go a long way.

But to each their own.