The cycle of life can be very confusing for anyone at any age.
Certain milestones occur during different aspects of life that leave people in a quandary.
One of the most confusing and anxiety-ridden times can be puberty.
The body changes so rapidly in so many ways.
Isn’t it best to always get the necessary information honestly?
Redditor Mrs_Colby_Brock to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
“AITAH for stepping up when my little sister got her period?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“NTA. Your sister is going to remember this when she’s older.” ~ suziequzie1
“So I, 14 F[emale], and my little sister, 12, have never been close.”
“Classic sibling relationship.”
“My Mom and Dad recently divorced, and now my Mom works A LOT.”
“Sice then me and my sister (let’s call her Ally) grew closer.”
“We started talking more and hanging out and having a real relationship.”
“So last night around 8 pm, Ally came into my room in tears.”
“I could instantly tell something was off, so I asked,d and she said, ‘I think I started my period.'”
“I comforted and told her it was going to be alright and all that jazz.”
“I showed her how to use a pad, and after that, I got us some hot cocoa and sat on the couch to explain all of my big sister’s knowledge about periods and stuff.”
“I didn’t go into full detail because I wanted to respect my Mom, but I didn’t want Ally to feel clueless.”
“After that, I doordashed us some Taco Bell and we watched cheesy Hallmark movies.”
“My Mom got home around 10, and I told her what happened, and she went crazy.”
“She said I was overstepping, and I should’ve called her and not have told Ally anything, and I just should’ve given her a pad.”
“She said I was ignoring her feelings and being ignorant.”
“And that it was her job as a mother to explain everything to Ally.”
“I tried to tell her I only said the basics, but she just sent me to my room.”
“I feel awful, and now I’m wondering, am I the a**hole?
The OP was left to wonder:
“Ao AITAH?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOW the A**hole.
“For real, I grew up 50 years ago and my mom had been steadily giving me info to prepare me from the time I was tiny.”
“By the time I was 10, I was fully prepared, and by the time I finally started at 13, I was, frankly, getting impatient for it to happen.”
“OP’s mom really dropped the ball if the 12-year-old didn’t have a clue (and most schools cover that a year earlier so). NTA.” ~ shelwood46
“NTA. Your mother needs to know it’s not just the facts needed but the right time to deliver facts.”
“Ally was highly suggestible, and big sis stepped up and did mom’s job.”
“So now a life of positive thoughts from a first period not negative.”
“Why did Mom not tell Ally before the event to expect her body to change?”
“Fail on Mom.”
“Way to go, big sis!” ~ strategyForLife70
“NTA. Not at all.”
“Your mom is, though.”
“You handled things great and your mom decided to take her guilt of not being there out in you.”
“If it was really important to your mom that she be the one to explain things, she had lots of opportunities.”
“Your sister is 12… It could have happened long ago.”
“Your mom could have pre-taught what was important to her.”
“You did nothing wrong.”
“Your mom can’t handle her own emotions.”
“Let her be mad.”
“I don’t know your relationship, so I don’t know how to tell you to move forward.”
“If she’s a safe person, you could try telling her later that you, of course, would help your sister, no matter what the situation.”
“If your mom was there, you would have gotten her, or your sister would have gone to her on her own.”
“She was not.”
“That is not your fault.”
“If it was important to her that she be the one to do the teaching, this event is no surprise, so she should have taught her before now.”
“You should not be in trouble for helping a scared girl who got her first period.”
“You would have done the same thing for a stranger, and this is your sister!” ~ OhmsWay-71
“Jumping on this comment to say, OP, if you were my daughter, I would have felt such incredible and overwhelming pride in how you handled the situation and supported your little sister.”
“I’m about to have my second son, and all I can hope for is that my boys grow to love and trust one another the way you and your sister loved and trusted each other in that moment.”
“You are doing a wonderful job at being big sis, and I am so so sorry that your mum didn’t see that.” ~ kbaez93
“NTA. Hey, big sis, you’re doing a wonderful job. 🙂 “
“Your little sister is reliant on you for experiences you’ve already had— meaning you’ve grown close enough to be her safe space.”
“Your mother should’ve been proud of you for doing that cuz we internet strangers are.”
“Keep your head up, OP!!”
“Not all mums are fantastic at breaking the news of the monthly pains— I’d much rather have had an older sister who sat me down for hot chocolate and taught me what’s to come.” ~ sausagemice
“Yeah, my aunt had no idea what was happening and thought she was dying.”
“The OP is definitely NTA in this scenario.”
“It is great she was there for her little sister.” ~ onitshaanambra
“My mom had told me but in a very offended way.”
“I lived on a ship, and everything everyone did was impossible to hide for long.”
“My big sister had her period, and they were talking about it, and I asked mom what she was talking about.”
“She told me but only because I kept insisting because I thought something was wrong with my sister.”
“One year later, I had my own period when I was 9.”
“If I hadn’t insisted, I would not have known about it.”
“My parents are great but not very modern.”
“My mom didn’t believe me when I said I had my period as well.”
“She didn’t have it until she was 14 herself and thought it didn’t happen younger.”
“Even tho she had been a nurse herself, she only drew back in the day on her own experience.”
“She is 73 now and has positively changed a lot.”
“She is a lot of things more modern than me.” ~ WoestKonijn
“Exactly right. Mom feels guilty for not being there (despite needing to be at work to provide for her family) and takes her guilt out on OP.”
“OP, you did a fantastic job!”
“Your sister will always remember how you allayed her fears and how you helped her.”
“Hopefully, Mom will come to realize answers needed to be provided then and there, rather than your sister spending hours terrified as to what her body was doing to her!” ~ Jealous_Art_3922
“I agree with everything you’ve said, 1 million percent.”
“I don’t remember being taught anything as a kid, and I thought I’d had an accident and secretly washed my underwear in the sink the first two times (it was only a small stain both times) before it clicked and I asked my mom for pads.”
“Now, as a mom of one 9-year-old boy, I don’t keep it a secret, and I try to normalize it so he can be a good friend, cousin, and maybe father one day.”
“OP, you did a very nice thing for your sister.”
“Hopefully your mom isn’t always like this, and just felt guilty because she hadn’t done a better job of preparing your sister.” ~ Stock-Lion-6859
“No kidding! I had a friend who growing up was very sheltered regarding these matters.”
“In addition to half-truths told too late, she was told to ‘never kiss a boy.’”
“Well, she wasn’t feeling well for a month or so, and her mom took her to the doctor and, after an exam, was told she was pregnant.”
“Needless to say everyone lost their s**t.”
“Friend kept repeating, ‘I’ve never kissed a boy, I swear!’”
“This is what happens when you’re not honest, and you don’t get ahead of what is absolutely coming down the pike.”
“NTA. Tell your mother to grow up and step up.” ~ Lex-tailonis
“NTA. Sounds like your mom is projecting her feelings because she feels like she missed out on a ‘special’ bonding moment with your sister.”
“This is just my assumption but she’s probably struggling with the fact that she has to work more and has guilt because of it.” ~ demonqueerxo
“NTA. She should have thanked you for looking out for your sister and making her feel comfortable when she wasn’t there to do it herself.”
“Sounds like she’s jealous of your relationship. Weird.” ~ Puzzleheaded_Row6211
“NTA. I wish my sister had acted like this.”
“We were on vacation with my dad, and I found out about it in a fuel station toilet and told her.”
“Instead of helping, she laughed at me and said, ‘Have fun telling someone.’ I just hid my dirty undies for the rest of the vacation, and my mum found them in my bags when dad dropped us home.” ~ dresshater1
“NTA. Your mom has things the wrong way around.”
“Your mom’s feelings are not the most important here, Ally’s feelings and sense of security are.”
“Furthermore, it was a grand screw-up on your mom’s part that she didn’t make sure that Ally was prepared for this day.”
“She’s 12 for God’s sake.”
“Some girls get their period at 10 or 11, or 9 even.”
“You did nothing wrong.”
“You saved the day.” ~ Regular_Boot_3540
“NTA. Mom is way overreacting to a situation that is plain old silly.”
“As her big sister, it’s probably easier to talk with you about her period and what she needs to do to manage it.”
“If mom was so concerned about this, she should have talked with your sister BEFORE she reached the age where her period actually began.”
“Otherwise, it’s a petty issue and you did nothing wrong.”
“You were a good big sister.” ~ Aggressive_Cattle320
“NTA. You did exactly right by your sister.”
“Most likely your mom is feeling guilty about having to work so much and missing out on an important milestone for your sister.”
“She should have told Ally about this stuff in advance, but the next best thing is having someone there to explain at least the basics as you did.”
“Your mother may or may not realize this because all humans make mistakes, and it’s important to remember that, but you have no reason to feel bad.” ~ DoctorLeopard
“NTA. You did amazing.”
“Sounds like Mom is struggling with balancing work, divorce, and parenting.”
“She took out her frustrations on you and allowed herself to get jealous of a time your sister needed you.”
“My Mom prepared me for my period, yet when I started, I didn’t remember anything… LOL.”
“I was scared to death and was lucky my (working) Mom was home.”
“She had to do exactly what you did, explain everything to me (again) and comfort me.”
“It’s unfortunate your Mom had to work, but she should be grateful you helped your baby sister.”
“Keep being there for your sister.”
“If your Mom is home, try to give Mom the opportunity to step in.”
“But if she’s working, keep helping your sis.” ~ Tally0987654321
“NTA. Your mom should have thanked you for being such a good big sister.”
“Mom is near being an AH herself, though, for not having this conversation earlier.”
“At 12 years old your sister should already know all the basics so that she wouldn’t be in tears and upset.” ~ Any_Cartographer_249
“NTA. Your mom is TA for not having that conversation with your sister in advance, and letting her know what to expect.”
“Sounds like you did exactly what a big sister should do, and your mom dropped the ball big time.” ~ Jab00lia
“NTA – Your sister shouldn’t have to suffer waiting for Mom to get home.”
“This is your Mom’s problem to deal with on her own.”
“Not yours.” ~ containmentleak
“NTA. WTF is wrong with your Mom that you stepping up for your sister on this would piss her off?”
“She could have easily just joined in with you guys on the couch and you both could have been there for her.” ~ Much-Scar2821
You’re a great sister, OP.
That is Reddit’s loud declaration!
Your sister needed help. You were quick, efficient, truthful, and caring.
It sounds like, deep down, your Mom is probably more disappointed that she wasn’t there.
That’s not your issue to fix. Hopefully, she’ll come around and apologize.