Overweight Woman Asks If She Was Wrong To Tell Obese Coworker To Stop Complaining About Her Weight

Losing weight can be one of the most challenging things in life.

It can weigh on a person mentally, emotionally, and of course... physically.

Not everyone will be supportive of a person's weight loss journey.

Weight has become a controversial topic for many.

So dealing with it can be tricky.

Redditor Adventurous-Boss-512 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.

She asked:

"AITA for telling my coworker to either stop whining over her weight?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"I'm sorry if my English is not perfect, but I'll try my best."

I (27 F[emale]) and my coworker (25 F) are both obese."

"We have worked together for almost 4 years now, and last year we decided together to start working and lose some weight."

"I was 113 kg (175 cm height) then, and she was around 105 (170 cm height)."

"We decided to start with running because it was almost free, and we heard it's the easiest way to start working out."

"It was hell."

"No sugarcoating it."

"We both hated it and wanted to give up."

"But for me, carrying all that weight around, having trouble walking up stairs, and hearing comments about me (and sometimes there were really terrible ones) was worse, so we pushed forward."

"After around 2 months in, she started to skip our running sessions more and more, and after I asked why, she just made excuses (she can't, doesn't feel like it today, is busy, or just simply 'I can't')."

"Right now I'm at 97 kg, and I know I have more to go (my goal is 70, but I know it will be hard), but I just can't stand her whining all the time about how WE are so fat, how her body hurts, how she hates how she can't find clothes for herself, and so on."

"So on Monday, when I asked her if she wanted to join me to the gym or a run and she declined, but an hour later she started her usual 'Isn't that unfair that fat girls like us have it so hard?'"

"I kinda snapped."

"I'm not sure why."

"Maybe it was because I'm still super self-conscious about my body."

"I just went, 'Well, if you hate it so much, maybe stop making excuses and move your a**?'"

"She called me a b**ch and hasn't talked to me since."

"My other coworker said I am an a**hole, and I feel bad, but at the same time I am so tired of hearing all that."

The OP was left to wonder:

"So... AITA?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
• INFO - More Information Needed

Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.

"NTA. The weight didn't come on overnight, and it won't come off overnight, but you have decided, unlike her, to be serious and take the steps to lose weight."

"Congrats to you and good luck on your journey." ~ R4ng3r_

"NTA. It probably hurts that she's also calling you a fat girl when you're working so hard to not be one."

"I think what she really wanted was someone to commiserate with about how hard fat girl life is."

"I'd be frustrated too."

"If your life is so hard, why not try changing things?" ~ Camping_Queen_13

"NTA - even if food addiction and obesity are incredibly challenging, it is definitely a thing you can change."

"There are so many different tools available as well." ~ weedils

"NTA. It seems like your coworker doesn't want to lose weight; she wants an audience for her complaining."

"Some people love complaining and have no intention to do anything to change their situation because then they would not have material for their complaining."

"Congrats on staying consistent and doing something for your health."

"On days when it's ugly outside, you could try some African Dance workouts (there are many free on YouTube)."

"It's high-intensity, and it works all your muscles."

"Also, it's fun." ~ Mewsiex

"NTA, because after a while it gets annoying when you hear someone constantly complaining but not doing anything about it."

"This is why it’s hard to have a workout buddy because usually it’s always someone who gives up."

"Now, no more talking about weight or exercise at work."

"You can text her and let her know that while you were excited to do this journey together, you will no longer ask her or mention anything about fitness or weight loss, and you will like her to do the same."

"Let her know maybe running was too much in the beginning, but now you know it’s other ways to lose weight (calorie deficit)."

"While you enjoyed her company and will miss her as a running buddy, you still consider her a friend."

"Let her know you do not want to hear her talk bad about her weight anymore."

"She might think you changed now that you lost some weight and think you're better than her, but that’s not the case."

"You wanted to do this with her, and while it’s hard, you know what you have to do to lose the weight." ~ LadyFamous2005

"NTA. Congratulations on losing 16 kg already."

"This is a great start!"

"And you were right to tell her."

"Sorry, but getting thin is nothing that falls into your lap (except maybe with those diet injections)."

"You have to work for it."

"And whining is not working."

"Yeah, you can say that it is too difficult and stay at the weight you have - but then don't whine."

"Or do something about it, like working out and/or dieting." ~ Trevena_Ice

"Nothing worse than someone overweight that's complaining that they're overweight while they make excuses for doing nothing about it."

"Also, working out is secondary."

"If you don't understand how many calories you're eating so that you can restrict them, you can work out all day long and still not lose weight. NTA." ~ StretcherEctum

"Hi OP!"

"I know this is also unsolicited advice (I apologize for that!), but I honestly would not take their advice about losing weight if I were you."

"Counting calories is not the way to go."

"It sounds like your method has been working for you!"

"You mentioned processed foods being the issue, which is spot on."

"Better to eat high-calorie whole foods than to eat low-calorie processed foods!"

"That switch, combined with high-rep, low-weight exercises with some cardio mixed in, led me to lose around 60 pounds."

"I find exercises like that a lot easier than just cardio, but I’m just not much of a runner nowadays. Lol."

"But you seem like you know what you’re doing for sure."

"I hope your weight loss journey continues to go well for you!" ~ ExtremeRepulsiveness

"Oh ESH."

"Look, it's perfectly understandable to be annoyed that she complains but is unwilling to do anything about it."

"People doing that is one of my big pet peeves."

"But you lost the moral high ground when you responded in the way you did."

"The mature, adult thing to do would be to kindly, but firmly, tell her that you are not comfortable with her talking to you about this issue and to please stop (and that conversation should have probably happened a while ago before you got to the point of blowing up at her)."

"And then you make sure that you stop talking about your weight loss journey and working out, and inviting her along as well."

"This entire topic should just be off limits for you two." ~ Lazy-Restaurant-1979

"NTA. She stopped and wanted you to stop too. When you didn't, she got mad because she's embarrassed."

"Don't worry about it."

"Ignore her back."

"Congratulations on your progress!" ~ surfinforthrills

"NTA, from one obese person to another: drop her."

"Some people will hold you back from success."

"NEVER postpone your progress for somebody unwilling to continue forward."

"Some people will absolutely try to sabotage your success too, or even start talking badly about you once you achieve your goal."

"You may find other obese people turn on you like you 'betrayed' them by reaching your goal."

"Leave them; don’t associate with people like that."

"They’re making their own bed; let them lie in it." ~ SweatySalamanders

"NTA. That being said, you don't lose weight through exercise."

"Don't stop doing it; it's great for you, but it's literally just calories in that matter."

"Kurzgestadt did a great video on it."

"I only share this hoping it will help. "

"I too am on a weight loss journey." ~ thegrandseraph

OP came back with an update:

"Thank you, everyone, for so many responses."

"I appreciate every single one (even the one who called me an a*hole)."

"I am aware that I shouldn't use the words I used - emotions can make you say stuff you don't usually say, I guess."

"Today, when she finally decided to talk to me again, I tried to apologize, but it turns out she's mad I didn't drop exercising when she said she doesn't like it because we were supposed to do it together."

"She never mentioned anything like that before, so I was a little confused."

"I said that I don't wanna be overweight anymore and will continue exercising, and she called me 'fatphobic for not wanting to be fat, like it's something worse' (her exact words).'"

"I think I will just drop the weight topics altogether at work because I won't argue with that anymore."

"It's tiring."

"My boss allows me to wear headphones at work, and maybe it's finally time to start using them."

"By the way, I know diet is important - I wouldn't lose so much weight without it."

"I just didn't mention it in the post because it wasn't the main topic ;)."

Most of Reddit understands why you snapped, OP.

Let your friend deal with her own issues.

You have enough on your plate.

Congrats on the weight loss; good luck with the rest.