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Parent Called Out For Providing ‘Expensive’ Fruits To Communal Basket At Daughter’s Daycare

little girl enjoying a pineapple slice
Copyright Crezalyn Nerona Uratsuji/Getty Images

School menus can often be a divisive issue.

Some parents want this, while others disapprove of that.

It can be a nightmare to coordinate.

Even when it’s free and the intent is all good.

Case in point…

Redditor ChampionshipAlarmed wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

They asked:

“AITA for bringing ‘expensive’ fruits to daycare?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“In my daughter’s daycare, parents provide fruit and veggies for all kids.”

“We have a basket where parents put stuff, the only rule (by the daycare) is, it has to be fresh.”

“My daughter loves kiwis, pineapples, and persimmon fruit.”

“So I buy those and put them in the basket, enough for the whole group.”

“Another mom now complained to the daycare about all those expensive fruits, because other kids might like them and parents don’t want/can’t buy them.”

“Actually that was one of the reasons why I buy them.”

“So that kids that can’t get them at home can have some at daycare.”

“I get it, not everyone has the budget to buy persimmon fruit at 1€ per fruit all the time.”

“But getting them for free at daycare is nice too, isn’t it?”

“WIBTA if I continue buying fruits that are expensive?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA. Exposure to different foods was a great part of preschool for my kids.”

“We were always grateful for the variety of what people shared.”

“I’m guessing the other parent has insecurities about their own financial situation and knowing they can’t afford that fruit or even needing to explain that to their preschooler.”

“Also an important lesson for any kid in my mind, that money isn’t infinite and we always make choices to use it, is uncomfortable for them.”

“They’re going to have to face that regardless, it’s not your doing.” ~ Illustrious-Shirt569

“NTA. Why do people always try to ruin good deeds?”

“I think it’s very generous and thoughtful of you to help your child’s peers explore new foods that are also healthy.”

“Don’t let some person’s unfounded complaints stop you!” ~ rubykowa

“One question haunts and hurts too much to mention.”

“Was I just seeking good nutritious fruit or just seeking attention?”

“Is that all persimmons are when looked at with an ice-cold eye?”

“If that’s all fancy fruits are then maybe that’s the reason why…”

“No good deed goes unpunished, no act of charity goes unresented… NTA.”  ~ headtheatre

“Another part of parenting is teaching your children that you can’t always get what you want and that being upset because other people can afford other things is pointless.”

“Parents are supposed to be preparing these children for adulthood, so explaining to them that they can’t always have the ‘expensive’ fruits is part of teaching them that.”  ~ Kosta7785

“NTA at all OP!”

“In fact, when I was working at the daycare that did this parents like you were my favorite.”

“Without a handful of parents who would buy different (not necessarily expensive, just different) fruits we would literally just be cutting up a bunch of apples to serve to the kids which gets boring super quick.” ~ crazystitcher

“I don’t think a lot of people appreciate how important nutritional diversity is for growing children.”

“We had a kid who came from an extremely low-income family.”

“He was behind on almost all intellectual milestones.”

“I’m talking about a pre-k age kid struggling to name colors.”

“We had a policy that allowed kids to trade their lunch snacks, as long as everyone involved (including the supervising teachers) approved.”

“This kid started trading the potato chips he got with other kids’ fruits and veggies (in moderation, of course), and it was like night and day.”

“He was cutting through the brain fog of a nothing-but-carbs diet.”

“We tried to explain the correlation to his guardians, but, well, as carb addicts themselves, they didn’t get it.”

“I wish we could’ve had a policy as OP describes.”

“It makes me feel unspeakably encouraged to know that, as wealth inequality rages on, policies like this exist to help give struggling kids the best chance they can get.”

“The parents who take issue with it need to swallow their pride and their kids swallow some good food.”  ~ littlewoolhat

“NTA. If the parent complained about that because her kids said something and she can’t buy an ‘expensive’ fruit, then it’s time for her to teach her kids about what she can and can’t buy, and that they can take advantage of the fruits offered.”

“Why is that parent feeling so vexed? Seriously.”  ~ DatguyMalcolm

“NTA… I think it’s great to treat children to as many different fruits and vegetables as possible.”

“The other mom is likely just miserable and needs to complain about anything.” ~ RoyallyOakie

“NTA… All the kids get the expensive fruit.”

“The poor kids getting it at least at daycare is better than them never getting any.”  ~ Infamous_Control_778

“Oh no, how terrible.”

“These other kids get to experience eating something out of the ordinary for them, that their parents aren’t paying for.”

“NTA. You aren’t insisting other parents provide those fruits as well.”

“You are providing fruit you know your child likes, and enough for other kids too.”

“This isn’t a competition to see who provides the best.”

“It’s a healthy snack that doesn’t have to be the same boring fruits and veggies every time.”  ~ stressedfaerie

“NTA I think it’s nice that you considered exposing them to different fruits other parents may not be able to afford or maybe just not even think to buy.”

“I would keep it up.”

“Tell them your child prefers that fruit so you buy what she likes.” ~ WickedAngelLove

“NTA. Honestly, they are getting the fruit for free at daycare, and you are providing the children free fruit.”

“They could possibly ask you about the fruit and where is the best place to get them or any advice to find affordable ones.”

“You don’t control other people’s kids and what they want and don’t want.”

“And beyond fruit, there are going to be times where kids will see something they want but can’t have for whatever reason, and parents can’t go around telling people to hide everything so their child/children won’t ask for them.”

“Also that mum will pretty much end up stopping the kids from getting the FREE fruit they want if she wants you to stop bringing them in.”

“She’s concerned about parents not being able to provide those same fruits, so wants to prevent the kids from having an opportunity in getting those fruits?” ~ PumpkinSpice3110

“NTA. You meant well, did good, and should be praised for providing something not everyone has access to.”

“I mean, if those parents could score a ride in an expensive car, would it be fair to deny it to them because they can never possibly get enough money to buy it themselves?”

“Should we deny bungee jumping/sky diving because people naturally cannot fly?”

“This is an issue of their parents, who do not want to explain to their spoiled kids that they cannot get anything their point their finger on.”  ~ MrVentz

“NTA. What a strange thing to raise a fuss over.”

“If you were buying things like wagyu steak for the kids that would be a different story… but fruit?”

“You give enough for everyone to have some, and if the mom escalates it further, just tell her what you said here: it can be considered a special treat at daycare.”  ~ punkswamp

“NTA. that’s a political move from the other parents. ignore them.”  ~ vrosej10

“NTA. Kids at that age are more likely to try unusual foods.”

“I was shocked when my son’s Montessori teacher had us bring olives and cream cheese to make a spread for crackers.”

“But she said if kids make it, they’ll at least try it.”

“You are broadening their palates and this is a GOOD thing.”

“Mom can avoid those stands at the grocers, and kids won’t know to ask for persimmons by name.” ~ YeeHawMiMaw

“NTA. The jealousy of some people thinking they can dictate what others do and do not donate to a communal food fund. My Gods.”  ~ ThrowAwayCatBalloon

“NTA. But why does she even know who brought the ‘expensive’ fruit?”

“I’m really hoping it’s not labeled, and the kids aren’t told prices or who contributed what.”

“Ignore this mom and her insecurities.”

“Bring whatever you want to bring.”

“Go all out, starfruit is another fun one.”  ~ ComputerCrafty4781

“NTA, and what kind of mother wants to deprive her child of enriching experiences because the child might like them.”

“With that kind of reasoning, one would never attempt to splurge to provide a child with infrequent experiences like going to a ballet or dance performance or the zoo.”

“I realize that prices vary but in the USA none of these fruits are considered to be expensive – at least in season.”

“Pineapples are in season all year long.”

“Persimmons seem to be in season more in the Fall at least where I am and kiwi is also available all year long.”

“I wouldn’t call these ‘expensive’ so much as not as common but everything is relative.”

“My grandmother was a child in Europe prior to WW II and oranges were exotic and expensive and rare and she still remembers when her grandmother tracked down an orange as a present for her.”  ~ Jujulabee

Well OP, Reddit seems to be with you.

Maybe all of the parents should sit down with the teacher and discuss the menu.

But accepting all fresh fruits sounds delicious.