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Parent Shamed For Refusing To Buy Snack For Daughter’s Special Needs Friend On Playdate

Two girls playing
Wengen Ling/Getty Images

Redditor playdatesnacks recently took their daughter on a play date at a paid indoor playground.

The other child’s mom purchased a pass to the playground, allowing her to bring a guest for free.

The Original Poster (OP) and their daughter were the lucky recipients of these guest passes.

While the girls were playing the other parent asked the OP if they could spot them for snacks. The OP had packed snacks for their daughter and didn’t want to spend money on overpriced snacks.

This caused a disagreement between the parents, ultimately leading the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).

The OP asked:

“AITA for not buying snacks for my daughters best friend at a play date”

They went on to explain:

“I have an 11 year old daughter, Ellie. She has a best friend, Sophie, (12). Both of the girls have special needs and are around 6 years old mentally.”

“Sophies mom called me yesterday, said that they were at an indoor playground, and Sophie wanted to know if Ellie could come and play.”

“Sophies mom offered to put me on her punch card (she prepays for 10-20 visits at a time because it’s cheaper) so it would be free for me so I got Ellie in the car and we met them at the playground.”

“After about an hour of playing, the girls started to get hungry. I packed a snack for Ellie but Sophie’s mom didn’t have any snacks on her.”

I told her they sell snacks in the front but she claimed that she didn’t have any money on her and asked me to buy Sophie some goldfish. I said sure, Venmo me and I’ll grab some.”

“I said no, I took care of my kid and it’s not my job to take care of hers too. She says she paid for my kid to get in so I could cover the $2 for the goldfish.”

“I told her if she wanted me to bring snacks she should’ve told me when she invited me but I won’t be wasting $2 for a $.50 bag of goldfish because she was unprepared.”

“She went up to the front and I don’t know if she lied about not having money but she came back with goldfish and fruit snacks.”

“Now she’s being petty by asking me to pay her back for all of the times we’ve used their memberships and guest passes so we’re not getting along.”

“I’m going to have to see her at school drop off/pickup, ballet class, gymnastics class, and the girls weekly play dates so I wanted to know if I was the a**hole for not buying her kid a snack.”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

“YTA…you were invited to a place for free that you would otherwise have had to pay for. You only packed snacks for your child?”

“Why? Why didn’t you also take snacks for the other child?”

“Yes, you did not have to do so, and that child is not your responsibility, but if I was meeting someone for a playdate for my child, not paying to get in…”

“…knowing, at some point, both girls were going to be hungry, I would have packed snacks for both, as a thank you for the invitation and just because.”

“I would call the other mom TA as well because if she has passed to this place, she knows her child will want a snack, but from your other comments, this seems to be a recurring theme for you.”

“Your daughter is invited numerous times? You accept the generosity, but do not reciprocate in any way? At least not that you state.”

“So, due to a pack of goldfish, because of you, your daughter might not see so many invites to playdates any longer.”

“Exactly, who is mentally six years old in this snenario? The children or the parents?,” – Worth-Season3645


“You mention she has paid multiple times for your daughter’s entrance fees. She clearly doesn’t usually ask you for money or take advantage of the friendship.”

“Now, this strong friendship is in jeopardy because she’s generous with you, but you won’t return the favor in a smaller one-off ask.”

“You wanted a transactional friendship and are going to get exactly what you asked for.”

“Don’t expect free invitations in the future, and make sure to budget accordingly – gym costs are way more than goldfish.”

“Was saving $2.00 really worth it?” – EmpressJainaSolo

“Yta, The friend’s mother basically paid for you and your daughter to get into the play area, and you couldn’t afford $2 to buy her a snack and help pay her back for letting you in for free.”

“You are so cheap. Silly. If I were the friend’s mother, I would never offer you a guest pass, and you would have to pay your own way from now on.”

“And it could be a chance that there are going to be no more play dates because her mother should be very upset with you, and a lot of times that affects the friendships as a girl.”

“So you’ll take her money to let you in for free. But you couldn’t take $2 to buy a snack. You need to look at your entitlement. Just a smidge” – antique_add

“YTA. Why are you nickel and diming a person who isn’t doing that to you? She lets you use her membership without asking for payment, but you can’t buy her a $2 snack?”

“If money is tight, then maybe you can make that clear, but you went about it in such a rude way.”

“It’s not your job to take care of her child, but it’s basic human decency to return a favor and feel a little gratitude for the free entry.” – waddleman10

“YTA – Dude…respectfully, get over yourself. Yeah, she’s the parent, so she’s responsible for her own kid. But parents are humans and can unfortunately forget things sometimes.”

“That’s why it’s good to have friends to count on in those scenarios…I sure wish she had one, cause you ain’t it!”

“She’s paid for you and your daughter to do things for free multiple times.”

“Springing less than five freaking dollars so a child wouldn’t have to go hungry wouldn’t have killed you.” – CrimsonKnight_004

“YTA, I have read some petty posts, but you take the biscuit. You’re enjoying the indoor playground on someone else’s dime, and you get on your high horse about $2 worth of snacks!?”

“‘I’m going to have to see her at school drop off/pickup, ballet class, gymnastics class, and the girls weekly play dates so I wanted to know if I was the a**hole for not buying her kid a snack.’”

“Yes YTA. Don’t worry tho, you and your daughter won’t be receiving an invitation for play dates any time soon.” – [deleted]


“So she regularly lets you use her memberships and stuff for things, but a $2 bag of goldfish is too much.”

“Yes, she should have done X Y Z ahead of time but people forget things, it happens. You could have just done her the solid.”

“Do you ever spend money on her kid? Ever let them use a service you already pay for? If not you’re mega the AH.”

“All this over $2, what are you? 12?” – DeadGodJess

“YTA 100% she spotted your daughter for the entry fee to the indoor playground, and you can’t spare $2 for a pack of goldfish? Do you hear yourself?”

“You also jeopardized your daughter’s friendship with this girl. I really hope this is a fake story because it’s hard to believe anyone can be this dense.” – AdSolid3204

“She’s being petty? Do you even hear yourself? Your daughter got into the event for free because of her generosity, and you can’t even spring for a $2 bag of goldfish?”

“You passed her on the petty meter a long time ago, not that she was in any way being petty here.”

“She was just asking for kindness, and you’re so hung up on penny-pinching you can’t see how wrong you are.”

“I’m surprised you have any friends, and by being so petty, it probably just cost your daughter this friend. Shame on you. YTA.” – forgetregret1day

“YTA. This is the pettiest rubbish I’ve ever heard.”

“When I’m out on playdates with other parents, it wouldn’t even occur to me to withhold snacks from another child.”

“Some playdates it’s me handing them out, other times it’s the other parent, swings and roundabout.”

“It was about $2, I mean, really?! Factor in the fact the other mother got your free entry; you really are ridiculous. If it were me, I certainly wouldn’t meet up with you again.” – ESur-25

“I stopped upvoting everyone ’cause it’s YTA all around.”

“I’m baffled that someone had to come to Reddit to understand that they didn’t realize they’re TA. Do these people really exist?”

“Does OP understand the word ‘reciprocation’? Or that over $2, her daughter lost a pretty generous friend?”

“YTA” – xjazz20x

“YTA. If I pack snacks for my child on an outing, I would automatically pack extra for the friend.”

“In this case, since you were thoughtless enough not to pack enough for both girls…”

“…I would have happily paid for the overpriced snack since she saved me money on the entrance fee.” – Maximum-Swan-1009

That was a costly $2.

We hope these parents will be able to meant this rift.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)