in , ,

Parents Evict Freeloading Daughter After Announcing She’s Pregnant With Her Seventh Child

woman in pink bathrobe holding pregnancy test behind her back
Peter Dazeley/Getty Images

Lending a helping hand to family is something most people feel obligated to do.

What’s much harder for people is knowing when to say “no” or “enough is enough.”

A mother struggling with cutting her adult daughter off turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.

Miserable-Day-8244 asked:

“AITA for kicking my daughter out of my house for being pregnant?”

The original poster (OP) explained:

“I (45, female) have a 27-year-old daughter. She has 6 kids, between the ages 10 years-11 months.”

“There are 3 different fathers, she receives child support from 2 of them, and she is still with the 3rd one and they have been together for 5 years.”

“My daughter worked part time and her fiancé is a chef full time. They have lived with us for the past year and a half, due to getting evicted from their last home.”

“The kids and them have our upstairs bedrooms (there’s 2) but that’s still crowded for 6 children. They are constantly asking me for help with phone bills.”

“My husband and I have not asked for rent so they’d be able to save money to get a home, which I do not believe they were doing.”

“I have put up with loud voices throughout all hours and waking up at different hours to cater to children, because I love my grandchildren. I never complained to my daughter because I believe family is very important.”

“It’s just that my children are all grown up, my youngest moved out 4 years ago and my husband and I had hopes to remodel. We didn’t expect them to be living here this long.”

“On Christmas Eve, my daughter gathered us all around and announced they were pregnant with baby #7. Everyone was all excited, but I felt dread.”

“That would mean another child in our house with not much room.”

“I looked over at my husband and could tell he felt the same. We discussed it later and decided we were going to have to ask them to move out.”

“Last night at dinner I brought it up to my daughter and her boyfriend and we told them they have 2 months to find a place because we cannot have another child here.”

“My daughter started crying, saying she couldn’t believe I’d throw her into the street for having a baby, that this was completely unfair and not enough time. I told her I was sorry, it was painful for me as well, but these living conditioners were impossible.”

“She demanded I give her more time or she’d go to the courts and I told her news flash, the courts only give you 30 days. She then said my grandchildren were going to be homeless because I was selfish.”

“She made a Facebook post asking for rooms to rent because ‘she’s pregnant and has nowhere to go and her family don’t give a sh*t about her’.”


The OP added:

“I had tried setting boundaries and constantly asked my daughter when they were planning on moving after their youngest was born.”

“I asked if they were going to get their own place and said they really needed more room, which my daughter had said yes they were looking multiple times and even went to a few open houses.”

“Then my daughter said they were unable to move because she was on maternity leave which eventually turned into her quitting.”

“She just got this job a few months ago which she got by my husband pressuring her to work because they were hassling us for money.”

“My issue is I’ve always been too nice.”

The OP summed up their conundrum.

“I told my daughter she has 2 months to find somewhere else to stay because she is pregnant, she said I didn’t give her a fair amount of time and that their going to be homeless because of me.”

“I might be the AH because I only gave them 2 months.”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors unanimously declared the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).

“NTA. Your daughter has (barely) been making ends meet based on the grace of others. Adding another individual who is an additional financial burden/obligation to her family, when she already cannot personally support what she already has, is a terrible decision on her part.”

“You are not obligated to keep anyone else afloat. This isn’t a situation where you are refusing to help, you have helped (for the last 18 months) in what was an opportunity for them to make headway on their personal financial stability.”

“Instead of improving their financial circumstances with the opportunity you gave them, they have added another commitment to their already lengthy list.”

“You are well within your rights to put your foot down here. I am sorry that she’s taking this as a chance to try to run a smear campaign against you, but anyone who takes half a second to get the full picture will realize that you are not the ahole that she is trying to sell you as.”

“I’m sorry. That must be a really unpleasant position to be in, but I hope you hold your ground. You and your husband deserve peace, too.” ~ Dramatic_Attempt4318

“NTA! YOU were selfish? First of all, nobody needs seven children. Are they hoping to continue until one has super powers or something?!”

“Also, if you have children, you pay for them. Yes, things happen, and it gets tough; that’s where you came in to help. But you did not choose to have an extra nine people in your house when you gave birth to one.”

“You can love your grandchildren and give her a wake-up call at the same time. Let the ones old enough know they always have somewhere safe. Be that for the little ones, too. It’s time to stop letting your daughter take advantage of you.”

“When does it end? In almost all developed countries, the amount of people in your house is considered abuse to the children or living in unacceptable conditions at best. It’s not your fault or problem.”

“I hope something changes from you being told she’s taking advantage of you, and you can enjoy your life while still being the best grandparent. They’re so lucky you’re the way you are.” ~ whatsername235

“NTA, but it would have been better to set boundaries a long time ago. Your daughter and her boyfriend need to grow up, and maybe this will be a life lesson to them.” ~ notthepapa

“NTA. Your daughter is essentially a BAD mother. Yes, I said it. To have six kids, with three different people is not the issue fully.”

“But the fact she can not fully care for the ones she has now and choose to risk having another one causing even more issues for the ones she has reveals that.”

“This will be a long-term issue for you and your daughter, though. She will use this against you cause she can not see the F-up she is as a person and in the choices she made.”

“So, YOU have some choices to make. What do you do for your grandkids? Do you offer to help them pay some of their rent to ensure they can have a home?”

“Are you willing to kick her out but help to make sure they can make ends meet, just so they are not there? OR are you willing to just say F her, and let her sink and such? It is clear she will sink without help.”

“If you’re willing to help, then tell her so. That you will give them ‘X’ a month to help cover the costs of rent or such. But she needs tough love. You might need to speak hard at her.”

“Tell her she is a failure as a mother for not making sure she can raise the kids she has without having to seek help from you and your husband. That she is a bad mom for allowing herself to be in a position to get pregnant knowing how hard she has made it for her kids.”

“It has nothing to do with she is with man 3, aka Father Three. But the fact she has 6 kids, now will be 7, can’t even afford a cellphone bill when they were all living rent free with you, and likely all other bills free too.”

“Until she can grow up and make things better for herself and her kids; which is more important, she will never have much of a life. And her kids will grow to resent the life they had due to her shortcomings as a mother, brought ALL on by her choices to have more kids.”

“They will love their siblings for sure, but they will see they had so many issues because there was a new mouth to feed, bottom to change, etc…” ~

“NTA—this makes me so f*cking angry, and upset! She is currently at 6 kids, working part-time, with a boyfriend who works full time and still can’t afford all their bills and other expenses and yet don’t see a problem with pumping out baby number 7?”

“You and your husband pick up all the slack even though you have put your child-rearing days behind you. And yet you being upset is UNFAIR to HER?! What a f*cking a**hole!!!”

“This reminds me of my grandma (I think she was mid-late 70s at the time), my aunt and uncle took her and put her up in their basement suite.”

“They charged her rent, expected her to cook dinner for them every night, and take care of their kid from the time my aunt’s maternity time off from work ran out (after about a year) all through until my cousin’s teenage years.”

“And she was the most ENTITLED brat growing up (she’s wised up since), but as a child, she was a MENACE.”

“One day, my cousin threw a MASSIVE tantrum (can’t remember why) while my mom, brother, and I were over and helping out where we could, but while mom and gran were working on prepping dinner with cousin screaming, I heard my grandma say that she wishes she was dead.”

“She was that stressed from having to raise a toddler again suddenly. It was MENTAL.”

“Then, as a teen my cousin got super picky about food, so what did my Aunt and Uncle do? Had my Grandma prep a separate meal for my cousin to avoid a fight.”

“This is what you are heading for, such insurmountable stress that you wish your life were over. You do not need that. You are doing what is best for you and your husband.”

“You need to stay firm on this. You are even giving them ample time to get themselves sorted out.”

“Please, PLEASE don’t backpedal on this. Stay firm, you’re not an AH, this is your daughter reaping what she’s sowed….and sowed….and sowed…and….you get the picture.”

“If you don’t cut her off, you’ll have #8 on the way by end of next year, I promise you.” ~ Butterfly_Critter89

“NTA. When I see a question like this I always think to myself that this is either an extremely cruel and careless person or is someone who is tired of enabling someone to continue taking advantage of them with no plans to EVER grow up and take responsibility for their f*ck ups and try to change. It appears you’re the latter.”

“I cannot imagine how a person could be so young with so many kids and still think that having sex without taking every precaution to prevent conception is a good idea. If you don’t kick her out I can guarantee you that within 5 years she will exceed 10 children if not more.”

“It’s not just the having another kid either, it’s the fact that they don’t respect your home or the sacrifices you and your husband are making for her and her kids. She probably doesn’t do much around the house either does she?”

“Nor do I believe she contributes to the groceries outside of buying herself and her boyfriend certain items they like and keeping them put up for themselves.”

“She needs to change her life and start planning for her future drastically and the future of her children because they’re going to have an extremely hard time in life, and I’m sad to say she’s already ruined hers.”

“Good luck OP, you’re going to need it.” ~ waste0331

The OP may be getting flack from her daughter, but Reddit definitely has her back.

It’s time to cut her daughter and her family off from their free ride.

Written by Amelia Mavis Christnot

Amelia Christnot is an Oglala Lakota, Kanien'kehá:ka Haudenosaunee and Metís Navy brat who settled in the wilds of Northern Maine. A member of the Indigenous Journalists Association, she considers herself another proud Maineiac.