Sometimes the worst occurs and a family emergency causes all plans to go haywire.
This recently happened to Redditor Some-Accident-1065 and their family when their in-laws got in a serious accident.
This forced the Original Poster (OP) and their wife to rely on their recent high school grad son to watch his siblings.
This unexpected babysitting cost the OP’s son a graduation road trip with his friend.
The friction between the OP and their son drove the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
They asked:
“AITA for having my son miss his graduating road trip to watch his sibling.”
They went on to explain.
“My son just graduated high-school and we were paying so he could go on a road trip with his friends. He was supposed to go Wednesday, my wife’s mother and father got in a car accident.”
“They live in another state so we had to drive about 4 hours. My wife was a wreck and wasn’t in the position to drive since her dad was critical. He pulled through, luckily.”
“We have two other kids 11 and 7. We can’t leave them at home alone, and we couldn’t find a sitter to watch them on such short notice. We even tried our neighbors but he couldn’t do it.”
“So that left our 18-year-old. He was pissed to put it mildly but did it. I told him we would make it up to him and if he could ask if his friend could move it back a week. They couldn’t sadly.”
“We were gone for two days, he pulled though. My wife stayed and I headed back, I paid him for watching the kids and went to talk to him about getting him on the trip.”
“It was suppose to be two weeks and they should just be a state over. He blows up about ruining his trip and there is no point going even though it should still 12 days of the trip.”
“He called up a jerk and lock himself in his room.”
“I need another opinion since this was emergency and he doesn’t seem to care his grandparents almost passed.”
“Edit: Well he called his mom, let’s say it didn’t end well, he did say basically said the same thing he said to me, wife had a breakdown on the phone with him, she sent him the injuries and pictures of grandpa/grandma.”
“He finally came out of his room and told me he isn’t going to go on the trip and the plan tickets aren’t needed.”
“Talked to my wife, never heard her that mad. Son confirmed what happened, he started yelling at her the moment the call started and she lost her sh*t when he called her selfish.”
“On good news grandpa has some feeling back in his legs which was a huge concern”
“For people saying we didn’t have emergency plan we do, first my closest friend- vacation, main babysitter- not available, backup babysitter- not available, last resort grandparents- hospital.”
“We tried to find someone that why we even asked our neighbor, which I have a good relationship with.”
“This will be my last update, had a conversation with my son about everything. Mom and him will have a conversation when she calms down.”
“His friends are not a state over. They are about two down at this point and going to Mexico. They are probably will get to the border tonight, they were supposed to be going to California.”
“He had his passport and everything ready. This is a f*cking mess.”
“I haven’t informed my wife yet and will wait until she is calmer. I’ll leave off with I hope none of you ever have to deal with a situation like this and please remember your parents are human”
“So AITA?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
-
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“Honestly YTA”
“I don’t understand why you couldn’t take your kids. It’s their grandparents who were in critical condition after all.”
“And what would have happened if he already left?” – rhnajith
“You want them to take their children into critical care in the hospital while everyone waits around to find out if the grandparent died?! Do you know how traumatic that would be for those children.”
“In my 20s, I had to wait in a restaurant with my family members as we waited for the news of my grandfather dying from cancer bc we couldn’t be in the room with him any longer. It was horrible.”
“And you want an 11 and 7-year-old to endure something similar so a teen won’t have to miss 2 days of a 12-day road trip? F*kin’ A! Where are your priorities!?”
“The kid is an a**hole for throwing a hissyfit about missing 2 days, so now he’s missing all 12.”
“The dad tried to get him on the trip, and the kid doesn’t want to go anymore bc not getting the 12 days ‘ruins the whole thing.’”
“Also, this is his grandparents, too. If he went right away, this kid would be on this road trip drinking and partying while his grandfather was fighting for his life.”
“No “once in a lifetime” 🙄 road trip is worth being that selfish and callous.”
“Dad’s NTA. Kid is.” – intermediategaming
“NAH – what a terrible situation for everyone involved. however – if he is rejecting any potential resolutions to this, it’s just because he’s upset.”
“i’m sure he cares that his grandparents are ok, but he cares MORE about the trip, which given the circumstances, is somewhat understandable.”
“EDIT: just read the update……sorry to say, but yelling at someone who is dealing with parents who have sustained significant injuries is NOT OK.”
“however disappointed the kid is, this is a hugely immature AH move.” – runaredlight68
“I do not understand the Y.T.A. votes at all. He’s not being parentified. He’s a young adult asked to help out in a one-off family emergency.”
“Kids under 10 do not belong in a hospital, period. Even the 11 year old would be dicey, especially if they’re cooped up in grandpa’s room – you know, the grandpa who was literally dying.”
“That’s traumatic for adults, let alone children.”
“It sucks for the older boy, it really does. I can understand why he’s hurt about it. But he will likely come around.”
“It was a true emergency situation, and OP did try to find another option. They tried not to f*ck him over, but sometimes circumstances don’t allow that.”
“They offered to try to “fix” it as best as they can by catching him up to his friends, but he’s not ready to think about solutions because he’s hurt, and that’s okay.”
“NAH – situation sucks for everyone. I’m sorry, OP.” – xtrawolf
“I’d say NAH.”
“In this kind of sudden and critical situation you didn’t have time to explore any other options (although taking your younger children with you would have been the next best thing) and you also paid him for babysitting.”
“Your son is also not an AH for being really upset and angry about missing his trip.”
“However, he’s only got himself to blame for not going out to meet them for the rest of it after you offered to get him there.” – Yikes44
“He’s a teenager. They don’t always think rationally. He’s disappointed that he missed an opportunity he was looking forward to.”
“Which he no doubt believes it was his one & only opportunity to ever have fun. Sadly, he can’t get out of his own way to figure out how to put this back together.”
“He has 2 options …. continue to pout or let you help him get what he wants. Not much more you can do.”
“It’s not about his lack of empathy. Grandpa’s fine so what could have happened is not really an issue now. It didn’t happen & now y’all need to figure out how to move forward.”
“NAH”
“eta — adults would struggle with the same feelings if they had plans for a fun trip & a family emergency came up.”
“Once that emergency is over. Most people would be disappointed they missed out on their plans.”
“Your son is upset with his situation. It seems like a normal reaction to me. Don’t make it personal.”
“eta more — based on your edit… you’re trying real hard to make your son the ah here. I’m guessing to absolve yourself in this situation but …. that’s not cool in my book.”
“Don’t throw your own kids under the bus. If your son is that selfish you should ask yourself why or how he got there.”
“Kids don’t raise themselves. I’m a little disappointed that y’all chose to point your fingers at the 18 yr old that had no control over any of this & didn’t have the best reaction.”
“Everyone is this story deserves a little grace. It appears that is not your goal.” – Alarming_Reply_6286
“NTA and the people who constantly answer “he’s not your children’s parents” are exhausting and out touch with reality. He wasn’t parenting. He was looking after them during an emergency!”
“When something like that happens, you are supposed to help your family. You are not an island. Your interests and needs are not the only ones that count.”
“OP and wife weren’t on vacation. They had to drop everything to go spend time in a hospital where son’s grandfather almost died.”
“Needing to assist someone in such conditions trumps a stupid trip. Watching your brothers for that one time because your family is in a horrible situation trumps a trip.”
“The level of selfishness in some comments is absurd.”
“If we need to reason like that, then OP and wife shouldn’t pay for the trip given that son is an adult.”
“They shouldn’t drive him anywhere, given that he’s an adult. He shouldn’t live with them, given that he’s an adult. Do you see how stupid all this sounds?”
“It was an emergency. He had to help. OP even offered to take him to the trip so that he wouldn’t lose all of it but son refused.”
“He could still go and spend 12 days with his friends; instead, he chose to throw a fit and skip two whole weeks of vacation because he had to stay home for 2 days.”
“Son can be upset, but he chose to be stupid about this. He should have accepted the lift.” – Daughter_of_Dusk
Sometimes we have to do what’s best for the family.