Friend trips are meant to be a great time, full of fun new memories and escaping a fast-paced life for a few days.
But sometimes it doesn’t work out that way, admitted the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Admiralporkchops587 had been excited for a beach vacation with friends that his wife had organized.
But when they did something unexpected on the trip, the Original Poster (OP) suddenly regretted everything.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for leaving in the middle of a friend group beach vacation?”
The OP’s wife recently planned a vacation for them and several friends.
“My wife (26 Female) and I (28 Male) go on several beach trips a year.”
“This one was with her friends, 12 adults – 5 guys, 7 girls, and our 9-month-old. We are the first ones to get married in the group and now the first ones with a baby. We also don’t do drugs.”
“My wife planned everything. She booked the Airbnb, planned a cocktail contest, organized food, etc.”
“Night one went well. Nothing to report. I (dad) stay sober.”
On the second night, there was a small incident.
“The next day, we headed to the beach. My wife and I didn’t drink at the beach so we could focus on our baby. Everyone was casually drinking.”
“At some point, someone pulled out a joint, we found out, but not a big deal. They did it away from us, baby, and our beach site.”
“Dinner time rolled around so we head to the restaurant. We got back, put the baby down, and people got back ready to party again and started making cocktails.”
“We stayed up with everyone, drinking slowly. At this point, my wife was sober, I’d had 3-4 drinks, and everyone else was getting drunk.”
But then the vacation took a troubling turn.
“Around 2 AM, the baby was fussy, so my wife decided to go to bed. I stayed up a little longer. Eventually, my wife texted that she needed me so I went to the room.”
“While I was helping put the baby to sleep, we got a text from my sister-in-law (21 Female) that cocaine was present and being offered.”
“Immediately, I headed out of the room to find my sis-in-law. Then we both went back to my room to talk to my wife.”
“She said that after my wife and I were gone, the couple that brought the cocaine started going around asking if people want to do it, eventually asking my sister-in-law while she was trying to go to bed.”
“My wife stepped out of the room to ask her best friend (28 Female) who brought it.”
“Then my wife confronted the couple (26 Female and 33 Male) and said how disappointed we were and how upset we were at the position they put us in with the baby.”
“There have never been drugs on a beach trip, we both don’t do drugs, and while generally, we don’t care what people do, the fact that we had our child there is the main factor of why we were upset.”
The OP and his wife didn’t feel comfortable sticking around.
“My wife came back, and we decided it is best for us to leave, given how angry we both were. We packed our things at 3 AM and left.”
“Yes, we could have kicked them out, but they were drunk and it was 3 AM.”
“My wife’s best friend was upset because she felt we should have stayed and talked it out the next morning.”
“The ones who brought cocaine were upset, because they didn’t know they shouldn’t have brought it and thought it was that kind of party because we came up with a cocktail-making contest.”
“Everyone felt we ruined the trip by leaving two days early and said we should’ve set boundaries ahead of time.”
“In our eyes, we needed to get our baby out of the situation and felt we didn’t need to explicitly say not to bring cocaine on a trip that a baby is on.”
“AITA for leaving early and ‘ruining the trip’ for everyone?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some thought the OP did the right thing and took the high road.
“NTA, for sure. You’re right, you could have kicked them out but chose to leave instead. I feel that was taking the high road here.”
“At the same time, you may need to realize that you’re just in a different life phase than your friends right now and may come to these activities with different sets of expectations.”
“As you’ve learned, it’s best to set some ground rules ahead of time.” – JeepersCreepers74
“They waited until both of you were away before they went for the drugs, which sort of implies they knew you would not have wanted it there… so saying they were not sure it was allowed is kinda odd…”
“I think you did the very grown-up thing, and I am not sure that I would have been so composed to just leave… not sure why that would ruin anything for the others either… save that you took the high road and no one else can complain.” – MithrilCache
“NTA. You should NEVER have to say, ‘Don’t bring illegal and toxic drugs around my baby.'”
“I probably would have called the cops. Cocktails do not equal cocaine. What the h**l kind of leap was that?”
“You didn’t ruin anything.” – Emotional_Fan_7011
“NTA. So they committed a felony and are complaining you ruined the show? Someone has their priorities screwed up.” – Elfich47
“The couple that got the coke is very much AH. It’s illegal, addictive, and can have very dangerous mental and physical side effects. It’s not like weed.”
“To bring such a dangerous substance that could’ve gotten everyone there in trouble as well as destroyed a few lives is the AH move. To not admonish such people is an AH move.” – km1180
But others thought the OP was irresponsible for leaving in the middle of the night.
“Gonna go against the grain here and say YTA.”
“Because, honestly, which of your options were really the safest choice?”
“Was it staying the night and talking like adults rationally in the morning, and setting up boundaries?”
“Or was it loading up your baby at 3 AM and driving around in the dark for who knows how long to get home, after a day of sitting in the heat and then a night of drinking?”
“Honestly, I think you did the much riskier thing by dragging your baby around in the middle of the night while at least one parent was partially intoxicated.”
“Is it in any way a likely scenario that the cops and/or CPS would have shown up to your random AirBnB at 3 AM to bust a group of 12 ppl for a bit of cocaine? Absolutely not. That’s a WILD stretch of the imagination.”
“Is it much more likely that out in beach country, which was probably at least somewhat remote and very dark at that hour, you could have gotten into a devastating accident on the road with much more dire consequences than having cocaine in the next room? 100%.”
“And that’s not even touching on the fact that you organized a beach party vacation with a bunch of childless 20-year-olds and, in 2022, are shocked that a party drug showed up? I’m nearly 40, and also the only individual in my circle with a child (11y/o step kid), and even I expect drugs to show up at a beach holiday with my childless friends, and they are much harder drugs than cocaine.”
“You overreacted, and put your entire family at greater risk by choosing to leave in the middle of the night.” – Rex_Buckingham_99
“How was the kid exposed to the drugs in any way?? They were doing them in a different room, after the parents and baby went to sleep, and even if the baby was awake, he’s 9 months old and can’t tell his own head from his a**. He sure won’t know what that white line is that Aunt Jenny is sniffing off the table.”
“It may come as a big surprise to OP, but people do recreational drugs ALL THE TIME, and more high people have been in the vicinity of her baby than she realizes.” – nana_banana2
“I honestly don’t see why he had to leave. There was no immediate danger? And cocaine is still a party drug in many circles.”
“Of course, they waited until the baby was out of the room to bust out the coke? Like, do people really think that their kids are never around drugs?”
“The guy standing in line next to you at 7-11 got a pocketful of dope. So does your cashier…the cops…your son’s friend’s dad… h**l, once I saw a baggie of drugs stuck to the back of a girl’s thigh in the middle of summer. I once saw two middle-aged ladies snort drugs in the post office parking lot.”
“Drugs aren’t only found in dark back alleys full of delinquents.” – mckoul
While everyone could understand the OP’s concern and confusion at the couple’s decision to bring drugs along on the trip, they were more divided on how the OP handled the situation.
Some thought the OP took the high road by simply removing himself, his wife, and their child from the uncomfortable situation. But others were less convinced and thought driving was the more hazardous option after a day at the beach.