Money issues seem to seep into all relationships at some point.
Everyone wants to be generous and helpful with their money but there are limits.
Parents, kids and money… that can be an explosive combination as well.
Case in point…
Redditor angel-hair-sketti wanted to discuss his story for some feedback. So naturally he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for hiding money from my parents?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Hi, I’m 16 (m[ale]) and ever since I got a job my parents have been making me give them half my paycheck for rent.”
“I have 5 younger siblings and my parents said I had to start pulling my weight.”
“It really sucks because they also want me to pay for stuff like new clothes and shoes. It was also like impossible to save.”
“I really want my own car, and some for college.”
“When I got a raise at my job I decided not to tell them.”
“My pay went from 8/hour to 13/hour. I was so stoked, but I knew my parents would start making me pay them more so I hid it.”
“Because I choose to get paid by check, I just take it into the bank and cash it so my parents won’t be able to see the direct deposit.”
“I can only work 20 hours a week cuz of school so before I could only save a little under $300 a month but now I can save $600 a month.”
“This has been going on for about 4-5 months.”
“The other day my mom found my savings and my parents confronted me.”
“They could tell it was too much and made me show her my pay stub from the week before.”
“To punish me for lying they took 3,000 of the 4,000 I had saved. Now I’m back at square one and won’t be able to save as much.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“Your parents are using you as a cash cow here. It seems you were right to not tell them about your raise. Your parents should care for your siblings and shouldn’t depend on your wage.” ~Partially_Underwater
“Switch to electronic messages from the bank and direct deposit at work. Remove the paper trail and hide your finances!”
“Your parents are not charging you rent, rent is a fixed price. They are stealing your money.”
“Part of the reason they do this is to make it harder for you to leave when you are 18.”
“You MUST start hiding away a savings and preparing an exit plan.” ~ johnny9k
“Agreed, this is financial abuse and it is not normal.”
“My parents had me start ‘paying rent’ when I got my first job, but it was 10% and when I moved out they revealed that they put it in a separate account for me and gave it back.”
“It wasn’t about using my money, it was about teaching me how to pay a bill in a low-risk setting.”
“If possible, ask for a portion of your paycheck to be put in a separate account your parents don’t have access to, and when you have a larger amount, put it in a CD.”
“It’ll earn more interest and can’t be accessed until the renewal period (mine are yearly, but I’ve seen some for just a few months).”
“If that doesn’t work, hiding gift cards is easier than hiding cash, and more can be added onto it.”
“(I helped a friend put one in the lining of her favorite jacket, taped under drawers, stuffed under shelf lining or carpet, barely noticable).”
“You need to save for moving out because I get the feeling that since you ‘contribute financially’ now, they won’t let you.” ~ SelfBoundBeauty
“He should stop and see what happens. OP, open a new account at a different bank.”
“Save everything you can. If your parents threaten to kick you out or withhold food, speak to your counselor at school to see what they suggest.”
“You’ll be doing your siblings a HUGE favor by getting on top of this now and not letting them continue this BS.”
“NTA. Not even the right neighborhood – you are in fact a victim here.”
“Oh by the way, if they do threaten to kick you out, you have the option to file a police report for the $3,000 that was stolen.”
“You could probably get it back as well, your parents don’t sound bright enough to defend themselves in small claims court.”
“Especially if you record them (legality depending on state) discussing the 3k they took from you.”
“Also I’m a moron so be sure to check those ‘thoughts’ out with someone who isn’t a random internet stranger first.”
“Good luck – you’re almost out either way.” ~ dracoda
“Definitely NTA. You worked for that money, it’s yours.”
“It would make sense if they asked you for a reasonable percentage for rent, but 50% is too much and now they’re taking 75% of the extra they didn’t know about?”
“That’s way out of line.”
“Maybe I’m overreacting but this sounds like financial abuse.”
“Hopefully someone here will know more than I do about the legalities, but of course it will depend upon where you live.” ~ GreenEyedKittyCat
“NTA. It pisses me off when parents do this.”
“You’re still a minor and they are still responsible to provide for your needs, not vice versa. Their children are not your responsibility dammit.” ~ Jazmadoodle
Our OP reached out to give an update:
“Edit: So I was talking to my cousins about the situation and apparently one of them told my grandparents and surprisingly they reached out to my parents and talked to them.”
“I don’t know what my grandfather said exactly, but I was in my room doing school work and all of a sudden my mom walked in and put the cash down and told me not to keep secrets anymore and left.”
“I counted it and it’s the full $3,000.”
“And one of my friends is 17 and said his parents don’t touch or check his money and I could set up a ‘savings account’ through him and set it up with direct deposit and for the time being.”
“And my cousin also offered to help me set up a bank account so I have options I guess.”
Well, OP certainly has a ton of support from y’all.
Yes, family is supposed to help family, but nobody wants to feel taken advantage of—there are options here.
Hopefully OP and his parents can find a middle ground.