In this day and age it is never a good idea to fiddle with certain foods.
People are very particular with their diets.
And some with good reason.
Playing fast and loose with the food can be a big problem.
Case in point…
Redditor throwaway0192837465z wanted to discuss their story for some feedback. So naturally they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for serving vegetarians pork fat?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My BFF and her family went vegetarian about two years ago.”
“This is strictly for health reasons, not religion or morals/activism.”
“They were already super healthy in their eating and activity habits, but decided to cut out meat to take it even further.”
“They eat the occasional chicken or fish on rare occasion but 99% of their diet now is vegetarian.”
“Any time we host them I have made sure there are good vegetarian options or that everything is vegetarian, depending on who else is there.”
“We had a cinco de mayo party tonight with them and some other friends that we hosted.”
“Her family were the only vegetarians in attendance, 4/10 people.”
“I made a taco bar because it would be very easy to do a plant protein, meat protein, and everything else is naturally vegetarian.”
“I chose to slow cook a pork shoulder for carnitas as the meat topping.”
“One of the other items included in the bar was black beans.”
“I have always cooked my beans with some sort of meat for flavor.”
“Today I decided to leave the meat out for the vegetarians, but I did use some fat from the pork shoulder to sauté the onions and garlic that got mixed into the beans.”
“I understand that this technically made the beans non-vegetarian since there was an animal product in it.”
“But I figured since it was such a small component of the dish that it really wouldn’t matter based on BFF’s reason for being vegetarian.”
“Health-wise, animal fat and plant fats have roughly the same macros, and it was only a couple tablespoons in the entire pot.”
“Cut to dinner.”
“Everyone was having a great time, ate a lot, including everyone having some of the beans.”
“Afterward one of my friends and I were chatting.”
“She was raving about the beans and asked how I had made them.”
“I told her exactly how and my bff who was nearby turned to me and said ‘wait there was pork in the beans?'”
“I said it was just a bit of the fat for sautéing the onions and garlic but she got pissed and said ‘you know my family is vegetarian, why would you trick us like that?'”
“I tried to explain my thought process and that I wasn’t trying to be malicious.”
“I really didn’t think it was that big of a deal but she wasn’t having it.”
“They left pretty quick after that.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP WAS the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“YTA and you know it.”
“It doesn’t matter what their reasons are, people have a right to know what’s in their food and you knowingly deceived them.”
“Not cool at all.” ~ Temporary_Badger
“I 100% agree OP YOU ARE THE AH!!”
“I am 100% legume intolerant.”
“Even a small amount of legumes AKA beans of any kind will make me violently ill.”
“I have an ex-husband who was vegetarian.”
“By the time I met him he had been a vegetarian for 3 years.”
“I did some research, after a year of being completely vegetarian a small amount of meat products can make many vegetarians ill.”
“I would never ever serve something to a known vegetarian or have anything on a buffet in which I did not warn a vegetarian ‘hey that has a little bit of meat in it eat at your own discretion.'”
“Just as I would expect vegetarians to warn me “hey that has legumes in it please be careful.”
“From a culinary standpoint I understand why you might want to cook in the pork fat.”
“However, from a human standpoint, AKA a being a human decent being standpoint, I would never knowingly trick someone into eating something that they don’t want in their diet.”
“Or cannot have in their diet.”
“And that is exactly what you did OP.”
“It does not matter if it was meant to be a side dish or not.”
“If it was out there for people to eat freely from then people should have been warned what was in it so they could make their own choices.”
“OP you failed to show basic human decency and respect.”
“By the way you could have made those beans equally tasty in a different way by using vegetable stock.”
“And very meaty mushrooms such as shiitake and portabella that had been dried and rehydrated in cooking with the beans.” ~ Betrayed_Orphan
“Omg why would anyone cross contaminate stuff!”
“That freaks me out and I’m not vegetarian!”
“My husband was having steak and boiled potatoes one night and put butter on the potatoes using the knife he had just cut up a bit of his steak with (yuck!).”
“So I told him it’s his butter now as it’s contaminated and I bought my own butter (luckily it was almost the end of the tub anyway).”
“I also hate crumbs etc, in something there shouldn’t be.”
“Hubby has been caught using the wooden spoon to scoop out a little bit more cream cheese that has just been mixing the garlic and spinach and then I had to cut the contaminated sections out.”
“Although I’m not vegetarian full time I am vegetarian 3 days a week and vegan 1 day a week.” ~ hydrgirl13
“Same I’ve been a vegetarian longer than I’ve been a meat eater, over 20 years & any sort of meat product including chicken broth, used in soups can make me extremely ill.”
“Pork in beans is just a no.”
“A well known place used to do that & I’d get sick every time I had their beans.”
“I finally asked & they said they use pork to cook the beans.”
“I was so upset I said you really should let people know they tried to claim it wasn’t really meat.”
“Anyhow OP YTA so disrespectful to someone’s dietary choices & at this time needs.” ~ Dragonfly1018
“This!!! I was a vegetarian for four years and because extremely sensitive to meat.”
“Just walking by the meat section at a grocery store made me nauseous from the smell.”
“Someone mixed up broths from a takeout order at a restaurant and gave me the pork broth without realizing and I almost threw up when I tasted it.”
“Your stomach stops being able to easily digest meat products when you stop eating it.”
“It was hell to start eating meat again for me.”
“Not only to get over the ick factor of a dead animal.”
“But because I had to start with bone broth and work my way up.”
“I took over 6 months for me to be able to eat bacon again.”
“YTA it would’ve been so easy to say ‘just so you know, the black beans contain a little bit of pork fat.’”
“You lied to them – period.”
“Also, black beans taste good without animal fat if you properly season them.” ~ Ok-Office6837
OP had some deets to drop…
“ETA: There seems to be some confusion about the role of the beans.”
“They were just a side dish.”
“I made BFFs family vegetarian chorizo as their vegetarian protein.”
“Also, as someone else pointed out, I thought using just the fat would be okay because vegetarians eat butter and ghee and cheese.”
“Which are all animal-based fats.”
But Reddit still took issue…
“And how he couldn’t understand the difference between a milk product and pork-fat.”
“Even I don’t eat pork fat and I’m no vegetarian.”
“His thinking is like ‘it is just a little meat for the flavor’ or ‘it is chicken and not meat.'”
“They should have left it to the people to decide if it is okey for them and not just let them eat it!”
“Even asking before in the age of whatsapp and smartphone…”
“30 seconds for a call or typing the message to be sure.”
“And even after he got told that his thinking is wrong.”
“He still behaves here like he did nothing wrong. YTA.” ~ Sheeps_n_Birds
“The friend was incorrect to refer to her family as vegetarians.”
“A lot of people do use the term instead of specifying the exact dietary restrictions they follow.”
“That said, if they only eat chicken and fish, the pork fat could affect them physically the same as it would a vegetarian.”
“They could end up experiencing nausea, vomiting, and other discomfort. YTA.” ~ Mermaidtoo
“YTA – you knew the beans weren’t vegetarian anymore, you could’ve asked if it mattered.”
“You could’ve let them know.”
“Their reasons for being vegetarian don’t have to make sense to you.”
“If you’re going to host them, you should be respectful of their choices and let them decide if a tablespoon is too much.” ~ CyberWolf_888
Well OP, sounds like you may need to do more in-depth menu research next time.
Reddit may want to do some looking into any future dinner invites.
People’s diets are not a joking matter.
Good luck with the BFF!