carpoolIt’s in most people’s second nature to be generous and help out friends and family members who need it.
Even if this could result in a slight financial setback, knowing we’ve helped another person is always a satisfying reward.
Even if one can’t help but hope that this generosity will be reciprocated at some point down the line.
Redditor ChannelGreat2791 was more than happy to give their colleague a regular ride to work.
When they found themselves unable to, the original poster (OP) asked if the tables could briefly be turned, and their colleague might be able to help them out.
While their colleague was willing to help, it came with a surprising condition, resulting in the OP adding a condition to all future rides they offered their colleague.
Wondering if they were being unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for demanding my coworker pay me for a ride to work after many months of giving her a free ride?”
The OP explained how why they came to view giving their colleague a ride to work differently after they asked if they could tag along with her and her boyfriend.
“For the last fourteen months, I have been driving one of my coworkers to and from work.”
“She only lives a mile up the road from me and is on the way, so I’ve never asked her for a dime or accepted when she’s offered me money.”
“From my perspective, I’m going there either way, and her overall household expenses are higher than my own, so it felt like the thing to do.”
“Over the weekend, my car went to the shop.”
“I told my coworker that I wouldn’t be available to give her a ride either Monday or Tuesday.”
“She said it wasn’t a problem because her boyfriend is off this week and would give her a ride.”
“I asked if I could bum a ride as well.”
“I even offered to walk to her home so they wouldn’t have to drive backwards.”
“She asked her boyfriend about it and he said he would, but he wanted $20 for the two days.”
“I know it’s just $20, but that set me off.”
“I declined the offer and said I’d find my own ride.”
“At work yesterday, she asked about my car.”
“I told her I’d be getting my car Tuesday night after work, but that going forward I’d like $30 a week (1/3 my gas costs) if she wanted to ride with me.”
“She was upset about this and said her boyfriend had only wanted money from me because by having me in the car he was being forced to drive straight home when he picked me up.”
“I pointed out that I’ve been happy to drive straight home to help her out for over a year and that it probably wouldn’t have killed him to show me at least some level of appreciation.”
“Today she said she’d no longer be riding with me after talking about it with her boyfriend.”
“She said she felt disappointed with me for holding his actions against her and that I was being petty.”
“A couple other coworkers told me through out the day that her boyfriend’s just an a**hole and she doesn’t really have a say at home, but overall agreed with me that it was a d*ck move.”
“From my perspective, this dude directly benefits from me thanks to his girlfriend not needing a car of her own or spending a dime in travel, and my coworker should have defended me.”
“Do you all think I’m being petty about this? AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for charging their colleague for all future rides to work.
Everyone agreed that it was ridiculous for the OP’s colleague to demand payment for the one time they asked for a ride from their boyfriend, and felt this was a classic, and well-deserved case, of “what goes around comes around.”
“NTA, and may I point out she could have paid the $20 and not even mentioned it to you.”-NanaLeonie
“NTA.”
“$20 for two days is $10 a day.”
“I would have said, ‘Great! What a deal.”
“$10 a day for a ride to work is a great standard price’.”
“‘I have driven you for 280 days, which is $2,800 dollars’.”
“‘Minus the $20 for these two days, you owe me $2,780′.’
“‘Thanks!'”- TheProphecyIsNigh
“NTA, she is a package deal with her bf, you were doing a favor for her for quite some time, and you are right that she should have defended you against her bf.”
“Heck, she could even pay him those $20.”
“How come she was upset ONLY after you wanted money from her and not when her bf asked money from you if in her book it is OK to ask for money?”
“Your offer of one-third of your cost was pretty generous.”
“She had free rides. She tanked the possibility for herself over measly $20.”
“Not the sharpest tool in the shed.”- Prangelina
“She should’ve put her foot down and put HIS petty a$$ in his place.”
“This entitled doormat of a woman is not your friend, OP.”
“You are NTA, and you are not petty.”- GlitzBlitz
“NTA.”
“Let her boyfriend drive her to work for a couple of months and then comes back and says she is willing to pay for your gas.”
“Tell her thanks but no thanks.”- The__Riker__Maneuver
“NTA.”
“She could’ve offered to pay him the 20 since she’s been catching rides off you because he didn’t owe you anything.”
“She has reaped what she has sown.”- ireadrot
“Petty…..Yess……A**hole…..No.”
“While she can blame her bf she went along with it.”
“She should have explained to him how for over a year you gave her free rides and asking for money was tacky of him.”
“But she didn’t. She just went along with it.”
“She showed you what she thought of your kindness and friendship.”
“You’re just showing her the same.”
“NTA.”- theassholethrowawa
“NTA.”
“You’re not being petty either. He was.”
“If the $20 was really important to him, she should have paid.”
“As a matter of fact, she should have been outraged that he was about to f*ck up the good thing she had going.”- sc0tth
“NTA.”
“She’s ok taking free favors from you, and when you needed a favor, she asked for money.”
“Her boyfriend asking for money is reasonable, and she should’ve covered that for you.”- saltycathbk
“NTA but I just wouldn’t give her rides ever again.”
“It’s not your job to do so.”
“Let her figure it out.”- Designer-Put-990
“NTA.”
“The major transgression in this story is the co-worker asking you for the $20 for her BF.”
“After 14 months of free rides, that is absolutely ridiculous.”
“Whether she convinces the BF to not ask for money or pays him $20 herself is immaterial.”
“Making the request to you is the height of rudeness and tastelessness.”
“Personally I think you should have refused to provide any future rides, and asking for the $30 from her could be construed as pettiness.”
“But imo continuing to give her rides for the $30 minimizes her awful behavior more than it is an act of pettiness on your part.”- Broken-Dreams1771
“NTA and enjoy your freedom to do anything you want before or after work without being stuck with a passenger.”- shrxwin
“NTA.”
“Are you kidding me?”- SlideItIn100
“NTA.”
“She should have paid her boyfriend the twenty dollars he wanted without even saying a word to you.”
“Who does what she did?”
“You are not being petty, and you are right.”
“She should have defended you.”- Worth-Season3645
“NTA.”
“She could have easily covered the $20 for you or told her AH boyfriend off, given that she’s gotten a YEAR of free rides from you.”
“On the bright side, you don’t have to ferry her mooching butt to work anymore.”
“If she really thought $10/day was fair, why would she balk at $30/week?”- cassowary32
“NTA.”
“Fair he charged u when u needed it, so u did it back.”
“Why wasn’t he driving her in the first place? They sound like freeloaders.”- ziig-piig
“I wouldn’t say petty.”
“I suspect she was caught in the middle and chose the wrong side.”
“If she had thought about she could have given you the twenty bucks and have you give to him, or she could have paid him herself as money she owed you anyway.”
“She tried to please him at your expense.”
“Bad idea.”- Ornery-Ticket834
It’s pretty shocking to think that the OP’s colleague didn’t think to tell her boyfriend that she had been receiving rides from them for over a year, so she could at least cover the $20.
Or that it didn’t occur to her to at least occasionally offer to pay for gas in the last year she’d been receiving rides from the OP.
One can only imagine that as this story goes around the office, the OP’s colleague will have trouble finding rides from anyone.