in , , ,

Pescatarian Accused Of Being ‘Uppity’ By Dinner Party Host For Refusing To Eat Pork

Hinterhaus Productions/Getty Images

Having dietary restrictions is often a huge inconvenience in and of itself. But having to deal with other people’s opinions about your diet can make it even more vexing.

That’s the situation a person on Reddit had to deal with when their dietary needs started some drama at a recent dinner party. So they went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for some perspective.

The Original Poster (OP), who goes by the name ihavereallybadsh*ts on the platform, asked:

“AITA for refusing food at a dinner party?”

They explained:

“I’m lactose intolerant and also pescatarian because IBS is a b*tch and I can’t eat meat that isn’t fish/seafood without having an exorcism of sh*t and vomit. It’s also really sad because there were some really good meat dishes I enjoyed that I can’t eat anymore.”

“Let’s call my friend/coworker Doug and his partner Carrie. I can tell Carrie doesn’t care for me for whatever reason. Whatever, b*tches be cray cray and I’ve kept my distance.”

“Doug invited a bunch of us from work over for dinner over the weekend (we work in healthcare and all got vaccinated). In the group chat, I asked if we should bring anything. Carrie (also in the group chat) said no and then asked if anyone had any dietary restrictions.”

“I let her know about mine. In the chat. In writing.”

“So the day of, I show up. I didn’t bring anything, as was specified. But I see Carrie made pork for dinner. And a couple of the sides had bacon bits in them.”

“I shrugged it off and silently helped myself to the sides that I could eat. I didn’t even mention that I stated that I was pescatarian in the group chat. Left out the lactose intolerance because lactaid pills are a godsend so it wouldn’t have mattered.”

“Carrie noticed I was only eating the sides and asked why I didn’t try her famous pork. I said I would love to, but my stomach was too weak to handle any meat that wasn’t fish. She wouldn’t hear me out and tried to force a pork chop on my plate, and when I still wouldn’t touch it, exploded on me.”

“She screamed at me and told me I wasn’t better than her just because I didn’t eat meat and that she was trying to accept me in her home but I just had to act all uppity and insult her cooking.”

“By now everyone is making excuses to leave and I tried to excuse myself too but she told me I wasn’t leaving until I tried her pork and the bacon containing sides.”

“I looked her dead in the eye and told her she wasn’t my mom and I wasn’t her child, and that that constituted a threat to hold me hostage. But if she really wanted me to eat her food I would, as long as she was okay with me stinking up her house with my farts and her bathroom after with all the sh*tting and vomiting I would endure.”

“And no, that’s not because her cooking sucks. I could eat a pork dish cooked by Gordon freaking Ramsay and I would still have an IBS flare up.”

“I then pulled out my phone and showed her the group chat, where it said, in writing, that I am a pescatarian. And I also showed her the thumbs up react she made on that message. So she knew about my dietary restrictions which weren’t me being a picky eater.”

“I then turned around and left.”

“Doug told me he didn’t think I was wrong, but Carrie is nagging him to ‘defend [his] wife’ so could I please just apologize to keep his home drama free. Some of the guests are on my side, others think I was too harsh with Carrie.”

“I’m really confused as to whether I should have just taken a tiny bit of meat and avoided drama. I’d seriously rather deal with the sh*ts than all this backlash at this point.”

OP’s fellow Redditors were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this situation using the following acronyms:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

“NTA. What in the ever loving f**k? There was no excuse to attempt to hold you hostage and freak out like that.”

“Anyone that tries to take Carrie’s side can just be reminded that she tried to hold you hostage for not eating something that in an exaggerated sense is poison to your body.”Sheshekro14

“I’d have gone a step further, I’m not even going to show them the respect of evacuating myself violently in their bathroom, I’ll just do it wherever I am, preferably the master bed.”Txblindman

“OP is a saint, I would have lost my freaking mind if I was treated like that. She bloody knew your dietary restrictions, you even had proof of it. And then she gets all up in your grill demanding you eat stuff that will make you sick? What the hell?”

“And tell Dougie that instead of Defending his wife, he needs to teach her some damn manners and get her a therapist because she has clearly got issues!”viridian-prime

“NTA”

“You made your dietary restrictions clear and she indicated that she had read and understood them. You didn’t make a scene, or bring attention to the fact that there wasn’t much you could eat…”janewilson90

“…If she wasn’t able to accommodate your needs she should have told you and asked if you want to bring something (I have vegan family members used to bringing something to share for this reason). Or just GD uninvited you if she’s so triggered by people who don’t eat pork”

“OP i would apologize—’I’m sorry I accepted your invitation when I should have already known you’re a psychopath! I won’t make that mistake again!'”errvalunia

“NTA. Whatever you do will be the right answer. You did no wrong and actually handled that pretty well. You gave what you received.”

“If you stick to your guns, no one can really blame you. It was shown that you were pescatarian and acknowledged. If you ‘apologize’ to keep peace…so be it. Sometimes drama free is just the best answer.”

“Something like ‘I apologize for my outburst. By no means do I want to come across as ‘better than other people’, my dietary restrictions are for health reasons.”

“Hopefully next time a dietary issue is presented…people will realize it’s not always for moral reasons’ your choice to add the snarky comment at the end but hey”TravelingArthur

The moral of the story is, don’t ask about people’s dietary restrictions if you don’t actually want to know.

Written by John Sundholm

John Sundholm is a writer, content producer and performer originally from Michigan. His writing has also appeared on YourTango, Delish and Medium, and he has produced content for NBC, The New York Times and The CW, among others. When not working, he can be found tripping over his own feet on a hiking trail while singing Madonna songs to ward off lurking bears.