College isn't a cakewalk.
There is so much work involved.
Many big assigned projects can be group projects.
Group projects can be a sticky situation.
Not everybody can carry their own weight.
Redditor IInternal_Turn_1135 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
"AITA for refusing to help a classmate after she ignored our group project for weeks?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I’m 27 F[emale], and I’m in college."
"We had a group project that we’d known about for several weeks."
"One person in the group barely participated, kept saying she was busy, and usually only answered messages when we were already making decisions without her."
"A few days before the deadline, the rest of us finished most of the project."
"Then she suddenly started messaging me privately, asking me to send her my files so she could 'catch up.'”
"I told her I’d send her the general information we were all using, but I wasn’t going to send her my finished work so she could basically copy it."
"She got annoyed and said that since it’s a group project, we’re supposed to help each other and that I was making things unnecessarily difficult for her."
"Now I’m wondering if I was being petty."
"I could have sent her the files and avoided the drama, but it also feels unfair that she gets the finished work after barely participating."
The OP was left to wonder:
"So... AITA?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - More Information Needed
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
"NTA. You weren't refusing to help her catch up; you offered the shared information."
"You just refused to hand over your finished portion after she had barely participated, which is a pretty reasonable boundary." ~ Mohitosan_
"NTA. You all started from the same place."
"She wants to start from a place of 'finished.'"
"Nope, ain't gonna happen."
"Helping on a project means participating during the project, not taking everyone else's work at the end."
"I had something similar happen in college."
"5 of us on the project and only 2 of us really did the work."
"We talked with the instructor, explaining what happened, and wanted to know how the grading would be done."
"He told us that he asks everyone on the project to put down what percentage each person deserved of the grade."
"We put 47, 47, 2, 2, 2."
"Don't know what those 3 got as a grade, but the 2 of us who did the project were happy." ~ Ducky818
"NTA... colleges DO NOT mess around with copied work."
"I know of people who were nearly kicked out for being accused of plagiarism." ~ c0mradec0wgirlv2
"NTA. It’s a group project, and she never contributed."
"You’d be justified in taking this issue to the professor— especially if a presentation is involved." ~ secret_desires5
"NTA. Retired college instructor here."
"Send an email to your professor, copy your group mates who participated."
"When I assigned groups for group projects, all the slackers were assigned to the same group(s)."
"This cut back on a lot of this nonsense."
"I usually didn’t receive anything from the slacker groups by the due date."
"I didn’t appreciate being saddled with dead weight when I was a student." ~ AndeeCreative
"NTA. People often don't realize that these group projects are a little like a rehearsal for real-life work scenarios."
"In those projects, folks like your fellow student find themselves looking for a new job sooner rather than later with that type of attitude."
"You weren't mean - and it's not like she had a family emergency and you refused to be kind."
"Better she learn the lesson now." ~ gidgetca66
"NTA, and you are not being petty."
"A group project is where everyone participates."
"As you stated, she participated only after the decisions were made by everyone in the group."
"Everyone DID help her by completing the project."
"She can figure out what she has to do by reading the general information."
"It would be unfair to everyone involved if she got credit for everyone else's work." ~ Optimal-Spinach6974
"There is always someone who wants credit for nothing."
"I've been in that situation, and I had students in that situation."
"I've had students grade each team member on group assignments."
"I usually knew who the slacker was and graded accordingly."
"I've had team members thank me for not lowering their grades."
"Why would I do that?"
"Is what I told them."
"They were a bit surprised I knew what was going on."
"You are not the AH." ~ MichKatM
"NTA. I had a similar situation, but the person didn’t even end up reaching out."
"They just expected their name to be put on the work."
"There was a presentation that was part of the project."
"Luckily, I had already spoken to the professor about it over the course of weeks because I saw this happening a mile away."
"They were asked to sit it out."
"We passed with flying colors; I don’t know if they were provided a different project or dropped the class."
"It felt a bit petty at the time, but we put in the work, and I wasn’t chancing my grade being pulled down due to one person." ~ interjection
"NTA. I once had to do a paired presentation on schizophrenia with another student, who did much the same."
"She ignored the project entirely until two days before, then asked me for my notes."
"My role was to present a case study, and hers was to describe the illness more generally."
"Except I'd already spoken to the convenor, who agreed to separate our marks, so if she bombed it wouldn't impact me, because I knew that otherwise I'd have to carry the whole thing."
"This prompted me to send her the most unhinged pop-psychology description of schizophrenia conflating dissociative identity disorder with schizophrenia, which she went and presented... word for word."
"It was truly glorious to behold."
"Everyone immediately clocked that she was wrong, and about two minutes in she realized what had happened, but had to carry on regardless."
"She couldn't even admit what had happened because if she did, it would mean an academic integrity investigation for presenting work that wasn't her own."
"She ended up with an extremely low mark for her part, and I got full marks." ~ sapperbloggs
"NTA, this type of person has existed for centuries."
"They don’t do any work, then at the last minute will ask you for your work and take credit for it."
"She’s used to pulling this move over and over."
"They always try to guilt you for saying no to giving up your hard work and try to latch on to the group project aspect while completely ignoring their lack of actual work."
"OP, don’t give in!" ~ EasternCourt5267
"NTA. Each person is expected to put in the work to contribute to the project, and this one person failed on that count."
"Don't be guilted into feeling responsible for her failure to contribute."
"The consequence of her inaction is basically that she was NOT part of your group and that was her doing, not yours." ~ Realistic_Head4279
"NTA. One advantage: college professors were once college students and probably dealt with at least one horrid group project."
"I'd reach out to the professor and forward the group chat showing that they blew the rest of the group off."
"That alone will get them in hot water."
"But if they tough it out and finish their own work, they'll be fine, maybe just a talking to after class." ~ ThatSupport
"Yes, help EACH OTHER. Ask her how she helped you because you don't see it and don't want to be ungrateful. NTA." ~ trueduchess
"NTA. Group projects don't mean you help each other."
"It means everyone collaborates and contributes to the project."
"She failed to do so." ~ PDK112
"NTA. Send me your finished project so I can catch up' is just plagiarism wearing a group-project costume."
"She had five weeks to participate and showed up for the file transfer like it's a heist movie — hop in, we're doing the group project now."
"Sounds like my ex..." ~ DangerMagicHouston
"NTA. It's not your job to do other people's work." ~ B41LSY
"NTA. You reap what you sow." ~ wieldymouse
"NTA. You shared all the information that everybody else has."
"Then it's up to her to do her portion of the project."
"She just wants to copy."
"That was her plan all along." ~ Hakathecat2370
Reddit is with you, OP.
This girl needs to get it together.
You and your classmates did all of the work.
She doesn't get to just jump in at the last second.
Don't be afraid to stand your ground.
Good Luck.
