Many couples put pain staking thought into the menu for their wedding.
And yes, you can't please everybody.
So does that mean guests should be bringing in their own food?
Case in point...
Redditor Houstonstan2618 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
"AITA for letting my son get fast food and bring it into a wedding reception?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"My son (22 M[ale]) is a picky eater."
"My cousin was getting married and had a lovely reception with a nice buffet."
"'Johnny' wasn't a fan of what was served so I let him leave and get some food."
"Word spread amongst our family where he was going and a few people asked him to bring things back so he did."
"We are at a table near the dance floor and you could probably smell it there but nobody in our immediate family had a chance problem (even the bride and groom)."
"Apparently the venue and the family of the bride were appalled and I don't understand why."
"It was a great party but he wanted something different and other people did too."
"He's 22 years old and in college."
"He has no medical issues; he just has a limited palate."
"When I said 'let' I meant, let him take my car since we all rode together."
"An edit: the food was served buffet style: a nice soup, salad, tenderloin, bbq beef, pasta, a few other selections."
"It was actually really good for wedding food."
"Everyone else who partook in the fast food did so because, well, it was there and tasted good."
"They didn't have a problem with the venue's food."
"Also, as some people said, one or two chicken bones did end up in the floor in the venue."
"That was unfortunate."
"So AITA?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.
"YTA for sure, you should have arranged something beforehand instead of doing it like this."
"Oh, and stop enabling your adult son, he is 22." ~ sandiercy
"The venue and family of the bride were appalled because bringing fast food into the reception for multiple people to eat..."
" - Embarrassed the venue because you all showed publicly you did not like their food, and..."
" - Angered the bride's family because they most likely paid a good amount of money for the food you publicly replaced (assuming the bride's family paid; I know this is not necessarily the case)."
"If you were invited to a dinner party, would you leave halfway through to get fast food and bring it back to eat at the dinner table? YTA." ~ Necessary_Jello_1206
"Also 3. A lot of places that serve food don't allow people to bring in outside food in case they get sick etc."
"Puts them and their service at risk of potential lawsuits." ~ adventurousmango24
"This and some venues will charge the bride/groom if you do bring food or alcohol onto the premises that wasn't bought there so the bride and her family may have been upset because they may face a charge."
"YTA- he's 22, not a fussy toddler and all buffets I've ever been to will have some thing everyone can eat." ~ Herps15
"When I saw the title I first assumed it was a little kid, nope, 22 year old dude, OP should know better."
"And then the fact he got other people food too instead of himself, and they see nothing wrong with that?? OP YTA." ~ Defiant_McPiper
"My relative is a child, and even they know not to do this."
"If example at a buffet if there were 9 dishes and there was only one they liked, they would load up on that on dish alone."
"It's just about decent respect, which OP and son clearly doesn't have any of."
"It's one event, suck it up. OP YTA." ~ egghoex
"Oh, please tell me the wedding photographer captured the magic of fast food bags spread across multiple tables at a catered wedding!"
"The People of Wal-Mart unite!"
"Did your son come to the wedding in jeans shorts as well? Y'all tacky. YTA." ~ Beneficial_Ship_7988
"YTA. Wow a grown ass man acting like a 5 year old."
"Does he still require you to wipe his butt also?"
"I pity any woman that hooks up with him, if that is even a possibility."
"Probably brings his mommy and daddy on dates too." ~ OkieLady1952
"Oh, and then threw the chicken bones on the floor."
"By OPs own admission, 'Somehow' some chicken bones from the chicken wings ended up on the floor."
"Not only was OPs son rude, with the palate of a 5 year old (after being coddled by his parents, no doubt), he was a slob who can't even manage to keep his scraps on the plate or even the table." ~ scarletnightingale
"I understand picky eating."
"I'm autistic and food aversions are a major hassle."
"Especially since the issues are made more severe by histamine intolerance meaning I'm basically at least mildly allergic to everything and the severity of symptoms is inconsistent."
"If I'm worried about feeling unwell or dealing with the physical things that go along with aversions (like my throat feeling thick and causing it to be hard to swallow, or making me gag or worse from soft foods) then I just bring a safe snack to eat beforehand or in private and decline a meal."
"I also make sure to bring things, like a histamine DAO (Diamine oxidase) enzyme and my prescription antihistamines, to help avoid the worse symptoms since it can make me feel really sick."
"It's rude."
"If it really was so limiting for him to eat the food offered then he should have eaten it in private before going back into the venue and kept it quiet that he was going rather than bringing meals for others."
"I can't imagine being at a wedding and seeing several people around sitting there with their McDonalds or some other fast food instead of eating what is offered."
"Plus it sounds like there were plenty of options, there must have been something that he could have at least tried."
"I don't really have much issue with him getting something for himself, I'm not going to judge him for being picky and I'm sure he has his reasons."
"My main issue is that he brought stuff back for others and ate inside the venue. It's so rude." ~ mkat23
"And he couldn't even go quietly."
"There was enough of a fuss that other guests got wind of it and made requests."
"Now bride and groom are left with the message that people would rather eat crap than the meals they provided at great expense. YTA." ~ ilp456
"He could have slipped out silently and got some food, ate it in the car and slipped back in silently if he had any sense."
"If anyone asked where he was 'getting some air' and 'he needed to grab something in the town and will be back in 20' would have sufficed."
"You can be a picky b*st@rd without being an insensitive one."
"That said, at 22, learn to eat some f**king food like a grown up." ~ Wolfpawn
"I first thought 22 months old."
"Then saw that the 22 year old grown a** man, who went to the fast food and picked up food for some other guests."
"Now my brain is just trying to grasp the situation."
"I've been to weddings with bad, bad, bad, bad, bad food."
"Both myself and my husband sat through 10 hours of wedding party (were really close friends with the groom) and were starving."
"We literally lived 2 minutes away from the wedding venue and didn't even think of going home to eat."
"Both you and your 22 months, I mean 22 year old son are TA!" ~ Successful_Winter_97
"YTA. At most, he should have slipped out, eaten, and returned quietly."
"Letting it be known and eating at the reception is a VERY AH move."
"You were rude, disrespectful and trashy."
"Apologize and teach your son better."
"Also he's 22. Ummm, enable much?" ~ Pair_of_Pearls
"I am a picky eater, a vegetarian and have severe food allergies."
"I would never ever do this. Very rude."
"They should apologize profusely to the bride and groom and send them an apology gift and never pull this stuff again."
"I am guessing some lack of social skills are involved."
"Let us coach you."
"Never do this again. Super rude."
"Not the end of the world though." ~ Competitive_Sleep_21
"This the bride and groom could have been fined by the venue."
"At my own venue bringing your own food with the exception of the cake was strictly against the rules of the contract."
"If you needed to accommodate a guests diet or food allergy that had to be taken to management so they could prepare something specifically for them if need be."
"And this was pretty common when we went venue hunting. By the way OP, YTA." ~ ffsmutluv
"Hard YTA. Your son is 22."
"He can eat before the ceremony, or eat after."
"Or eat a granola bar in the bathroom."
"But instead you and him made a big enough scene of the food not being to his liking that many people knew, and then he proceeded to bring back dinner for several other people."
"Causing an even bigger scene that was highly disruptive of an insanely expensive formal dinner that you nor any of the other guests getting take out paid for."
"I assume that the wedding allowed children at the dinner, but it's unclear why you weren't sat at the kids table and supervised by the grown-ups." ~ mencryforme5
Well OP, Reddit is pretty loud and clear on this situation.
Maybe next time check what's on the menu beforehand.
Or slip away quietly and eat in the car.
















New Mom Irate After Father-In-Law Ruins Her Birthday With 'Vulgar' Comment About Her Breasts
There's nothing quite like the feeling of going through all the work to prepare a fun celebration, just for someone to undo it with an unkind or gross comment.
That feeling just gets worse when it's your birthday, and that comment was made by someone who's supposed to care about you, sympathized the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Rude-Pepper-2389 had recently given birth and decided to have a special birthday celebration to reconnect with her loved ones after becoming a mom.
When her father-in-law stopped by unexpectedly and then made comments about her body, the Original Poster (OP) was left so uncomfortable that it ruined the whole celebration for her.
She asked the sub:
The OP wanted to have a special birthday celebration after her baby was born.
"I currently have a five-month-old and haven’t really been taking care of myself or dressing up since having the baby."
"It’s my (25 Female) birthday, and we were having friends over at our house for a private dinner to celebrate."
"My husband (24 Male) and I have been together since we were 18."
"I decided to put on this new silk shirt I got, which, admittedly, was low-cut, but I felt cute in it and felt comfortable around the friends we were having over."
Everything was fine until the OP's father-in-law (FIL) stopped by unexpectedly.
"My husband's dad decided to stop by on his way home from work."
"I will say, he was likely drunk. He works two hours away and proudly told my husband he's down to only four beers on his drive home each day... so, that's healthy."
"When he came in, I was on the couch with my baby propped up beside me, bottle feeding him. Keep in mind, I am not breastfeeding, so no, my breasts are not any larger right now."
"My husband's dad leaned down to look at the baby and then suddenly shouted, 'D**n, son, she could knock you out with those things in bed! Like cracking two coconuts together.'"
"This was fully and undoubtedly in reference to my breasts."
The OP was shocked by the comment and very uncomfortable.
"It made me deeply uncomfortable and embarrassed."
"I was so stunned, I couldn’t even process what he said to me, and our friends just stared at me, blinking."
"He’s a redneck, so he's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years, but this just seems to take the cake, as it was the first time it was directed at me."
"When he stepped out, I told my husband he needed to speak to him, and that the comment wasn’t okay."
"I went to change clothes and decided to never ever wear that shirt again."
"When I brought it up to my husband, he said he didn't hear the comment at first, but then he laughed when I told him what he said. He's always laughed when he feels awkward and has always had a hard time standing up to his parents in any capacity."
"When he and my father-in-law spoke, my FIL just said, 'I shouldn’t have said that to her, I know how she can be,' which just feels even more like I’m just being dramatic."
"Since then, I think my husband just wants me to drop it and move on, truthfully."
The OP wasn't sure what to do after what happened.
"This genuinely ruined my entire night. Am I just too sensitive, or was this an inappropriate thing to say?"
"There's also been no apology since then. This happened on Thursday, and then my father-in-law came by again on Friday with flowers to wish me a happy Mother's Day before Mother's Day Sunday."
"I think that was his way of trying to just breeze past the awkwardness. He's never gotten me a gift the whole seven years I've known him, so the flowers were odd. But I still feel really uncomfortable."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that her father-in-law's comments were rude and just plain creepy.
"NOR at all. That was really rude of him. Anyone would be offended." - Bookbringer
"NOR. That’s firmly in the category of what should be an 'inside thought,' and we should learn what those are at a much younger age than this guy is."
"F**king h**l, this is an absolutely mental thing to say out loud, let alone to your daughter-in-law." - Electronic-Fennel828
"FIL is an AH. I love that you think his being a redneck excuses it, but d**n. Even rednecks should know better than to speak that way to their son's wife."
"What does your husband have to say? Does he understand how breath-takingly rude his father was, or is he Team 'That's Just How He Is'?"
"I'd go very low contact with the old perv. NOR, he put you in an uncomfortable position with his crude remark. Is he married? I'd tell the MIL. I'd tell the whole family. Yes, it's embarrassing, but he is the one who should be embarrassed. Don't accept his non-apology." - Top-Bit85
"Maybe I’m desensitized after having large breasts since I was 13 (I’m 28 now), but I let out a little snort based on how immature of a joke it was. I’d simply tell FIL, 'Yes, I know, my boobs are big,' and move on."
"That said, I would never make such a comment about another person's body. Just because I'm technically fine with it doesn't mean I assume anyone else is!"
"Not everyone is the same, and if OP felt uncomfortable, she’s NOR. Her body, her boundaries." - Both_Original2094
"I’m sorry. That’s upsetting. My father is like this with his father. Even if it’s very offensive comments, he’s uncomfortable and has problems confronting him. It sounds like your husband isn’t going to have a talk with him, which is hurtful."
"I would explain to your husband how uncomfortable the situation was for you and that it’s a serious matter, especially if it happens again. And if he still tries to brush it off, then I would tell him you no longer want your FIL coming to your home."
"It’s your life, too, and he’s not the one being hurt here, you are." - w_coastultraviolence
Others were specifically angry about the tactics the father-in-law used to try to get out of trouble.
"Seriously? Saying 'I know how she can be' is a classic way to blame the victim for having boundaries. It’s your birthday, not a Hooters convention. What a creep. If he can’t look at the baby without checking out your breast, he shouldn't be invited to the house." - Specific_Parsnip3264
"'I know how she can be' is so f**ked up. He's the one being a disgusting person. You need to shine up your husband's spine to properly call him out at the time next time, because there will be a next time." - dancepantz
"The bit that pisses me off the most is, 'I know how she can be,' which is his way of making it her problem that she doesn't like her FiL sexualising her in front of her friends." - Outside-Partait-8935
"The 'joke' comment is gross, but that follow-up comment is infuriating. NOR, OP. But this guy will be in your life for a while, so firmly & calmly shutting this stuff down is completely appropriate."
"I'd wear the d**n shirt again to the next family function and look him right in the eyes next time!" - RationalFish
"When we let things like this slide for others, it's not long before it ends up on our doorstep, and of course, nobody says anything because keeping the peace is the norm. It doesn't have to be getting into their face and yelling abuse back. Just a comment such as, 'Well, that's super tacky to say,' or asking them why they'd say that." - Kattnapped
"The OP said, 'He's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years... but this is the first time it was directed to me.'"
"Normalise calling stuff out when they are talking about others, and they won't feel so comfortable saying it to you."
"It's a gross thing for him to say, but I guess him buying you flowers is his way of saying sorry."
"Sounds like you are in the situation of a lot of new mothers, where you suddenly realise this stuff matters because you want better influences for your child, and better support for yourself. NOR." - Jumpy-Jello-
Now, about that shirt...
"Please re-think your decision to never wear the cute shirt again, girl!! It's something that you liked very much because it made you feel good about yourself. Don't let some backwoods id**t ruin that for you."
"Wear that shirt till it's worn out and can't be worn anymore!! You should be able to feel good about yourself in whatever you like to wear."
"Your husband should have immediately checked his father, not waited until he was told to do so after his father left the room. In front of everyone there, your husband should have told his father not to ever speak about you or to you in that kind of manner, and if his father doesn't like it, he knows where the door is."
"Hubby should have called him out for his response as well. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were not the problem; his dad was. This comes down to your husband needing to protect his wife, and he didn't do that." - Lynzo141982
"If he is a redneck, like you said, he won't outright apologize, but flowers are his way of saying sorry."
"I hope he won't say anything again, or else you can expect a nicely tended garden for at least a year."
"About your top, I hope you can wear it again. It takes a lot to feel cute, being a new mum."
"If not, get some fabric dye, dye the top a different color, and embroider a flower on it. This makes the top new, different, and every time you wear it, you can use the mantra ... I'm cute, I don't care what anyone says."
"You've got this!!" - No_Kangaroo_6637
Even if the father-in-law was joking and meant no harm, this is one of those situations where he needs to admit that his joke did not land well, he did cause harm, and he needs to apologize. Just because some people enjoy joking in that manner does not mean that everyone will be comfortable with it, and it's important to respect everyone's boundaries and zones of comfort.