The workplace, no matter how dramatic, is an intimate place.
In order to work together everyone has to learn how to trust one another.
When the higher ups start playing games, things get problematic.
Case in point…
Redditor workplace_throwaway2 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for pretending not to know my husband?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Obligatory ‘I know the title sounds crazy, please hear me out’ statement.”
“My spouse (38 M[ale]) works at his father’s company.”
“The two of them work closely since my husband will, at some point, take over for his dad.”
“Because of his income level, I (31 M[ale]) don’t have to work.”
“Sometimes I’ll come into the office to bring my spouse and F[ather] I[n] L[aw] lunch and stick around for a bit to help with minor tasks.”
“The last time I came in, my husband warned me that there will be a few new faces around because they’ve taken on some interns.”
“I got this silly idea – honestly inspired by something I had seen online of a couple who worked together without their coworkers knowing – and clued my husband in on it.”
“Basically, I was going to pretend to be another intern for a while and he would be my boss.”
“I ended up ‘coming into work’ for about a week and it was really fun.”
“We both leaned into it.”
“I called him ‘Mr. Spouse’s Last Name’ and Sir.”
“I gossiped with the other interns about how handsome he is.”
“He would purposefully ignore me while walking past and I’d pretend to get flustered and say an awkward hello to him.”
“It was great.”
“I was thinking of coming in towards the end of their internship and randomly surprising them with the truth about why their fellow intern buddy disappeared after a week.”
“I thought it was harmless.”
“I was having brunch with a friend yesterday, though, and I told the same story.”
“The response, instead of laughter like I had been anticipating and like I had gotten from my closer friends, was anger.”
“She claimed what I had done was out of line.”
“She said that the people around us didn’t agree to partake in our ‘weird, role play fantasy games’ and were unwillingly participants in our foreplay.”
“EDIT: Both me and my spouse are men. Just wanted to clarify that as I’m seeing a lot of comments referring to me as a woman.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared our OP WAS the A**hole.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“So… the boss has conspired with his husband to get his interns gossiping about how handsome he is?”
“This place sounds like an HR nightmare. Do you honestly have nothing better to do with your time?”
“Massive YTA.” ~thatwasawkward
“As an intern i would feel spied out like if i say something bad about the boss, how I behave if the boss didn’t look.”
“This is just awful. YTA.” ~ EvilFinch
“I would feel like this too.”
“I would also wonder if the bosses set this up as a test with the hope of finding out something they could hold against me.”
“I would not feel comfortable working for the company after something like this and would be wondering what else they are hiding.”
“Massive YTA, OP.” ~ Conscious_Cat_6204
“This could have gone sideways, you got lucky.”
“What if your playful talk about the sexy boss led to the interns actually wanting to talk to you about the sexy boss?”
“Huge red flags, huge potential for creating a hostile work environment and opening yourself and your husband and his father up to litigation.”
“Really, really f**king stupid thing for you to do because you’re a bored house-husband. YTA.” ~ JohnSnowsPump
“Exactly. What if Y says oh yeah he’s sexy and spends 5 minutes graphically explaining what they want to do to husband?”
“OP what was the game plan there?”
“I know you trust your husband but what if he stays late at the office and Y was there.”
“You think you’d be ok?”
“I think all the trust in the world wouldn’t shut up that horrible voice in the back of your head wondering what’s going on.”
“Even if it’s completely innocent because Y thought they were just gossiping to the other interns.”
“Not to mention what if the interns saw the two of you flirting or husband giving you special treatment?”
“It creates a sense of unease to the interns thinking he’s a leach especially if they know he’s married.”
“They might even go to HR yo try and ‘protect’ you because you have a crush on him and might not realize he’s in a bad position of power.”
“OP seriously messed up situation and depending on the ages of those interns, really awful.”
“You taught them companies will secretly track and monitor everything they do and say. YTA.” ~ Timely-Editor4875
“I mean he said he doesn’t have to work and seems like a bored husband and instead of doing something meaningful with his life he is doing *hit like that.”
“YTA. I kind of hoped dad would find out and not be happy but maybe in the next episode of drama husband.” ~ Ok_Possibility5715
“It’s messed up on so many levels, not just the weird kink thing that the post read as.”
“I would genuinely feel like I would never be able to critique my boss or the workplace.”
“Really important if you want a workplace to grow.”
“I’d feel like my performance was being constantly evaluated on a micromanagement level.”
“And I straight up would not trust my boss or any of my coworkers because holy crap what if my coworker is the boss’ husband doing some weird, uncover roleplay.” ~ Plus-Kaleidoscope900
“Yup. No intern is going to find this a ‘cute’ and/or ‘funny’ game the boss and his husband played with each other.”
“It will come across as a sneaky and underhanded way the boss was spying on them.”
“Play your games away from the work place where they belong. YTA.” ~ Natural_Writer9702
“As one of the other interns, I would question the professionalism and maturity of the company I had just spent my internship with.”
“I certainly wouldn’t find it hilarious and a good story to tell my own friends and family.”
“I would also be worrying about what I had said about your husband to you.”
“You are clearly bored.”
“Go and find some useful volunteer work. Mild YTA.” ~ slightly_dusty
“This didn’t sound like a sexual kink, so I think her point is irrelevant.”
“But I would be absolutely livid if I found out that my boss had his spouse as a spy, especially since you admit to participating in the gossip.”
“I would not be surprised if the interns felt betrayed and uncomfortable and if your husband company got a bad reputation for what you did.”
“That’s highly unprofessional. So YTA for that.” ~ Graves_Digger
“OP has admitted in another comment that it was sexual.”
“They were involving others, without their consent, with their sexual role play, in addition to lying to and spying on these poor interns.”
“OP and his husband are MASSIVE a**holes.” ~ Blasie
“YTA. This is weird and would make me incredibly uncomfortable.”
“I’m guessing you’ve never worked because you clearly don’t understand how unprofessional this is.”
“Maybe get a job and expand your horizons a bit.” ~ cascadingmedusa
“YTA. A place of business is not someplace to play immature games.”
“Very inappropriate and you give interns the idea that your behavior is normal and expected.”
“I agree with your friend for being annoyed. Definitely an H[uman] R[esources] mess.” ~ anaisaknits
“YTA. When this inevitably comes out, it’s not gonna look like a fun little practical joke that you and your husband played.”
“It’s gonna look like the boss sent someone to spy on the interns and try and entrap them into saying something inappropriate.”
“You guys are in for an HR nightmare when that happens.” ~ iron_ingrid
“YTA OP, get a job.”
“Not because you have to but because it’s another level to growing.”
“Walk dogs on rover.”
“Serve kids at school.”
“You seem entitled and it’s shown in your actions.”
“There was no need to weave a web of drama in an office you don’t work at.”
“How much time do you have on your hands?”
“Your husband should also reflect if he’s giving in to this nonsense but is going to be running a company and in charge of people’s lives.” ~ deadxroses21
“YTA. Those interns said things to his wife that they never would have, had they known.”
“If it was me I’d be pissed and I would most certainly question both of your judgment.” ~ wowieowie
“YTA. You are deliberately misrepresenting who you are, and you don’t even see anything wrong with that.”
“Is integrity a company value?”
“You’re not practicing it.” ~ sbh56
Well OP… Reddit really wants you to do some serious thinking and soul searching.
Your intention was clearly not malicious but the execution was problematic.
It’s all salvageable.
Honesty first.